The Bad Boy Changed Me | ✔

Chapter 21

This chapter is important! Please don't skim it! I know it has long paragraphs, but they're important!!!!

My feelings this past week have been overflowing.

I have nothing to live for. I look in the mirror and all I see is failure. I'm all alone. I'm like a lost girl. Might as well go to Neverland and hang out with the lost boys and Peter Pan. Robbie Kay here I come.

Everything around me has no meaning. No purpose. Sounds disappear, everything becomes blurry, I can only hear my thoughts. The thoughts about how I don't want to live life. Everyone hates me. My family hates me and my friends hate me. I can fake a smile easily, but inside, the only thoughts I have are the thoughts that tell me to stop living life as a piece of junk in a junkyard. No one notices I feel this way. They think I'm same old same old. No one realizes I'm feeling this way. I have no purpose. I have no dream. As much as I convince myself that it's going to get better, it's not. I have no life. There is no one who supports me and I can't describe my feelings in words. Nobody loves me, not even my own family.

I don't belong here. I'm like Boo in Monsters Inc, but I have no Mike and Sully. Imagine Boo alone without that happy smile on her face, but instead, a whole face of dark emotions. She didn't have a purple dinosaur costume, she had a black dinosaur costume. That's me. Sorry I couldn't think of a good analogy. That's the best I got.

Nobody understands me. I thought they did, but they dont. I'm alone. I have to guide myself through this. I have no mentor. Just me, myself and I.

I don't need help. I'm not weird. Don't try to help me out of this dark bottomless pit.

I want to put myself out of this misery. I don't want to live this life. I don't want to live any life. Im ready to leave this world. I have nothing left.

I want to kill myself.

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a/n

Its short, i know. Im sorry this was more of a diary entry but it's important.