Awaken

Chapter Four

 "How did you meet her?" I asked, staring into the fire that we were sitting around. We had stopped for a break, knowing that with how bad the blizzard was they would never be able to leave. We couldn't use all of our strength keeping us warm in the subzero temperatures, especially since we were being hunted by so many different people, both on our side and not.

"After my mate died and children died I traveled a lot. It was unnatural to them, that I lived so long and they did not. None of them took after me, because I was not meant to be a vampire, I was a strange fluke but I was a vampire born regardless. I explored much of the world, going to places that I never thought I would be able to see. I did not want to spend much time in Russia, to be honest, because the whole place reminded me of Lana and I despised her for taking my right of dying with my mate away from me. It wasn't her fault, I see that now. She wanted to save me." Liam said, his eyes locked on the fire. I could tell that it was hard for him, he was struggling to tell me about this.

"How...what had happened that Lana had to turn you? I saw flashes, I saw moments, but I never saw the whole thing." I also wanted to hear it from Liam's mouth, I knew that. I felt less like I was spying on him if he told me himself, even if I had no choice when I saw the visions.

"It had started off funny, to be honest. Maya, my sister, was pissed because she had discovered that Charles was Lana's blood-mate, and she knew that I loved Lana. She was going off on Lana, saying that she couldn't have both of her brothers. So, Maya being Maya she started a fight with Lana, and of course Lana won, knocking Maya unconscious. We had decided that rather than letting her sleep it off in the apartment that we shared, we would drop her off at the castle and leave her to Charles. We shouldn't have even been there that day, but fate is a cruel beast. We dropped Maya off with Charles, but then Cain was there and suddenly the three of us were arguing over Lana, which was a common occurrence.

"Lana, tired of our fighting left us. I don't know where she went, but while she was gone the wolves attack the castle, beheading my mother and nearly killing me. I remember Lana talking to me, asking me if I wanted to become a vampire, but I had no time to respond. I was dying, and I was dying fast." I could see the misery in his eyes, the same look he had when I had first seen him. Over the past few weeks that look had begun to fade, but now it was in full swing. "She changed me, thinking that she had no other option. If she hadn't changed me, I would have never met Isla, my mate, but if she had let me die I would have never been forced to watch my mate die, to feel my daughter die in my hands. They were wolves, I couldn't change them...I hated her so much. I loved her so much."

"What would you have said? What would your answer have been?" I wasn't sure why I wanted to know, it wouldn't change anything. The past was unchangeable, and it was something that I hated.

"I was going to say no, I didn't want to be a vampire. I saw how much Lana struggled with her feelings, wanting to save the humans but wanting to give in to her true nature at the same time. It was painful, and it was a struggle that I did not want to take part in. But as I said, fate is cruel." He sighed, sticking his hand into the fire. I watched as it wrapped around his arm and began to travel up like a snake, curling and twisting. He wore it like a second skin, like an armor. "But, we've gotten off track. Anyways, when I was traveling I finally found myself in Russia, unable to avoid it any longer. I met Prisca one night, while I was hunting a bear. She had been watching me, and she was so quiet that I had not even noticed. She talked to me, knew that I was grieving and she never once mentioned the grieving, but she knew. Prisca has an interesting power, since she too is vampire born. She only revealed who she was when I was taking my leave." He said, the fire on his arm dying out.

"What is her power?" I asked. If it was anything like Lana's it had something to do with the mind, like mine.

"I'll leave that to her to explain, because it isn't my place." He said, finally looking at me. "Tonight has turned a little dark." He said, a small smile on his lips. I could hear the wind howling outside the cave that we were.

"My life has turned dark since I met Elijah. There are so many things that I wish I could change, I wish that I did not kill those people, I wish that I had not lost control. I wish for so many things, and even though I am supposed to be one the most powerful beings alive, I have no power to grant those wishes." I wrapped my arms around my knees and tightened them. "How did Lana deal with it?" I asked, my eyes now avoiding his. The guilt of killing his love, killing his maker, was still eating me alive. I hated myself for taking her away from him, for taking her away from Charles.

"Lana and you are nothing alike, personality wise. She thrived in her power, she may have struggled, but she was not afraid to kill and sometimes I think she preferred the dark way of life, and maybe that was her way of dealing with her power. You are much more quiet, and gentle, and that was something Lana wasn't. She used her powers to their fullest, always delving in other's minds when they didn't answer her, punishing those she thought deserved it. And maybe that is why you are struggling more than her, because you don't use your powers, you try to keep them locked away until you lose control."

"Should I be more like Lana?" I asked, hurt causing my breathing to catch. My whole life I had been told that I should be like someone else, and even thinking about Liam doing the same hurt.

"No, no that's not what I am saying at all. I'm saying that you need to embrace who you are." He fell silent.

"Where is Prisca?" I asked, changing the subject. I didn't want to talk about control, or Lana anymore.

"Last I knew she was in Northern Russia, which is where we are going first. She may have moved since then, since it has been a century, but that is the best place to look."

"How far are we from there?"

"A least three days travel, but we will be taking breaks in between to conserve our strength." He said leaning back against the wall of the cave. It was dark, with only the fire providing light. "Oh, while we travel and while we are in Northern Russia do not let anyone know your nature. Wolves are not accepted here as they are in the Americas, and the fact that you are a hybrid marks you as dangerous and some may want to take you out on their own. They obviously will not succeed, but I want to try to avoid trouble as much as possible that way we do not leave a trail."

"But won't the be able to smell the wolf in me?" I asked, knowing that wolves were very easy to smell.

"No, not with your vampire nature and your need to feed on blood. They have never heard of a hybrid and the concept will never cross their mind as long as you do not mention it to them."

I sighed. It was just another part of me that I had to hide. I felt like I was forever hiding myself.

"Krista, no matter what Elijah and I will always accept you as you are. Wolf, vampire, hybrid, we will be here for you." I looked at him and the smile on his lips was reaching his eyes and I couldn't help but to smile back.

If I had Liam and Elijah, I knew that I could survive through anything, even myself.  

How do you guys feel about Liam? About his story?