This Is The Part Where You Find Out Who You Are [ON HOLD SORRY]

Chapter Three: Andrews POV

Mehh sorry I didn't update yesterday like I said I would. I only work on this at night, and I had a really bad headache. I'm all better now though! So here is chapter 3. It's in Andrews POV, which I won't do very often, but I wanted to elaborate on his role in the story from his point of view. ENJOY!!

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I look down at my phone, and scroll through all the "goodbye" comments on Instagram. Some are from my close friends, others from just people I know. And then I stop when I get to her comment.

"Hope you have a great time!! See you when you get back! :)"

I read it over and over again, looking for some other meaning behind her words, but I find nothing. It's just like every other farewell comments, except this one is special. It was written by the girl I love.

Even just thinking about her makes my heart hurt. Every time she enters my mind Im immediately reminded of that painful day.

It was 2 weeks before school let out, and the weather was horrible. I was annoyed I had to walk home in the drizzly, cold air, but then all my feeling subsided when I saw her walking out of school. I was only a few feet ahead of her, and I knew that I could take this chance to say hi to her. I started to plan out how it could go in my head, but my thoughts were interrupted when I heard her call my name. I was a little stunned. She'd never said my name before. When we talk its either me who starts the conversation, or she just directly asks me something.

I like the way she says my name. It sounds better when she says it.

Slowing down so she could catch up, I'm curious as to what she has to say. Maybe she needs to borrow my notes? Or ask about the homework? What happens next leaves me speechless, and it has nothing to do with schoolwork.

"Hey."

She said, looking a bit more nervous than usual. Kind of like how she is around many other people, but she's never been that way with me.

"What's up?" I replied with a smile, trying to contain my curiosity.

The smile on her lips faltered ever so slightly, I could tell that her breathing is shaking.

Why is she so nervous?

"Andrew, I, I like you. And I don't know why I've finally decided to tell you this, I mean, everything has been great and this might really mess it up. It's just that- that I wanted you to know but I didn't want things to change and-and, I. I just don't know. I like you. That's all I know."

I could tell she was nervous by the way she voice shook, and the way she spoke quickly and rambled on. But she looked me in the eye the whole time. She always did. It was kind of our thing.

I hadn't realized that I had stopped walking, and that a couple minutes had gone by, with me just staring at her, until she spoke again,

"Please say something." It was said softly, just above a whisper, and I knew I had to say something.

I just didn't know what to say. Her big brown eyes were full of hope, her fingers were fiddling with the straps on her backpack, and she just looked so cute with her hair in its natural curly state.

And I liked her too. I liked her so, so much. But i was going away for the summer, and who knows what could change in that time? And I don't know what happened. And I don't know what came over me, but I found myself saying

"Nic, you're great. You really are. You make me laugh, and I like being around you. But Im just not looking for a relationship right now and so I think it would be best if things just stayed the way they are with us. Okay?"

Suddenly her eyes weren't locked in mine anymore. They were focused on the ground.

What did I just do. Oh god I really messed up what the hell is wrong with me?! I don't mean that. I don't mean any of it. I want her to be mine more than anything else! What am I doing?

I think to myself.

After a moment, she looked up, but is looking anywhere but at me. A weak smile appeared on her full, soft looking pink lips. She'd never been kissed you know. She didn't tell me that, and she probably has no idea that I know. She didn't need to tell me though. I figured it out all on my own just by watching her. The way she gets nervous and her hands start to shake whenever a guy talks to her. By how uncomfortable she looks when her guy friends hug her. And when we are in class, and a guy with be sitting close to her, she ever so slightly moves away. Almost as if she's afraid. She's never been that way with me though. We could be inches apart and she's as calm as could be. We can have a conversation without her secretly trying to slip out of it. She probably doesn't want me to know some of the things I know about her, and I get it. Not many people our age are still waiting on their first relationship. Their first kiss. I've wanted for the longest time to be her first kiss. So why did I have to mess it all up?

In a strained, fake happy voice, she said,

"Yeah, that okay. Really it's fine. Maybe that would be best. Anyway, I've gotta get going. See you tomorrow."

Without looking at me again, she turned on her heel and began to walk away.

It was in that moment that I realized something.

I realized that I love her.

But I let her go. And I know that I'm going to regret it.

The days passed on and before I knew it school was over. In those last two weeks, Nichole didn't look at me. She didn't laugh when I whispered comments in her ear during class. She avoided me as much as possible and if I did manage to talk to her, she wouldn't say much. I don't blame her though. She was hurt. And it was my fault. I only wish that there was some way I could go back and do it differently.

As I watched her walk out of school that last day, seeing her smile and laugh with her friends, I knew that she would be okay eventually.

But would I?

Snapping back to the present, I get up and finish packing. I'll be leaving in a few hours and hopefully this trip will keep my mind off of her.

Hopefully.

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And there you go. Is it just me, or does anyone else not know what day of the week it is 90% of the time during summer? Lol okay well I hope you liked it, there's much more to come.

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GO SKYDIVING.

OKAY BYE

~PickMeChooseMeLoveMe