Second Chance

Chapter 16

Three weeks later and the entire country knew what I had done. The news spread quickly and now I had become the infamous girl who killed her sister.

After the nurses discovered that I had pulled Kenzie's plug, they thought I was crazy. I was put into the psych ward with the suicidal and the depressed. Maybe I fit in with these people, though.

Apparently I was suffering from "chronic depression." In other words, it couldn't be cured. They say it will eventually go away, but until then, it will be living hell.

Voices in my head spoke to me every night I couldn't fall asleep. They told me how terrible I was, for killing my sister. How I ruined everyone's lives by doing what she wanted. It was what she wanted, wasn't it?

Today I was going home. I didn't know what was waiting for me there. No one has come to visit me, except for one person. Abby. She came when I was sleeping. The nurse said that she stayed for a few hours, then left when she saw I wasn't waking up any time soon.

All I knew, was that some one was paying my bills. And rumor has it, my mom was picking me up today. Just a rumor.

It was one hour until I could leave, and I was sitting alone in my room. I had a roommate, a seven year old girl. I didn't know why she was in this horrible place because she seemed fine to me. She seemed better than fine, she was happy. But, when I saw the bruises she had on her neck, I understood.

But the worst part of it all is that she was just like Mackenzie. She was bright, and happy and bold. And whenever I was having a particularly bad day, she would cheer me up with one of her hugs and kisses on the cheeks.

I was alone, until the last ten minutes. That's when she came in.

"Bella!" I exclaimed as she rushed in, flushed cheeks and pink nose.

"Where kind of trouble have you !been causing?"

"None, of course," she giggled. "You're leaving soon?"

"Yeah, I'm going home."

"I'm gonna miss you, Maddie," she told me and wrapper her thin arms around my waist. She was skinny, too skinny.

I held her tight, until we were interrupted.

Someone cleared their throat.

I looked up to find my mom.

"Mom?" I whispered.

"Maddie." She looked stiff, like she didn't know what to do.

"I'm sorry we didn't visit, it's been-"

"It's okay." I stood up and have Bella a final hug.

"I love you," I whispered in her ear.

She repeated my words, and then we were off.

As we walked to the car, I spoke up.

"Did I miss the funeral?" I knew I had, but I wanted her to feel just a little guilt. It's not like it wasn't hard for me too.

"Uh, yeah... It was really beautiful. Hundreds of people were there and they all brought sunflowers, you know, like her dance? It was... It was nice."

I stared out the window and tried to imagine a bunch of people that barely knew my sister bringing flowers to her funeral. For some reason, it didn't sit well with me.

We arrived at the house shortly and quickly unloaded all of my bags.

I walked inside and immediately felt uncomfortable. All of the pictures with Kenzie in them stuck out at me. She was everywhere, in every picture. How would I ever move on when it felt like she was still here?

Greg gave me a light hug before I brought my bags upstairs. I knew they were angry at me. Nobody would understand.

I made it to the top of the stairs and turned down the hallway and passed Kenzie's room. The door was slightly ajar, so I made the stupid decision to look inside.

There was a pair of pajama shorts on the floor and her bed was unmade, like she had left suddenly. Three bottles of pills were next to her bed, half empty. She never got the chance to finish them, even that one time when she tried.

It was a mistake coming in here. I started to silently cry as I stared at the Justin Bieber posters scattered amongst her wall. And then, my eyes found their way to her bed. Hanging above it was a large, framed picture of Kenzie and I, me kissing her on the cheek as she laughed. We took those a little while before she was diagnosed. When everything was okay.

Written on the bottom of the picture, it said, "Friends may not last, but sisters are forever."

I really cried then. I cried for Kenzie and I cried for my parents, how they lost their little girl, and I cried for me because nobody could ever understand and I cried for all of the other kids who ever lost a sibling and who made promises they couldn't keep. And for the ones who did keep their promises, like me.

I rushed out of the room and ran into my bedroom. I jumped onto the bed and let myself fall apart. And it worsened when I saw that my mom had put the exact same picture above my bed. So I grabbed the picture, and hurled it at the opposite wall because I was truly upset. And like I said, nobody understood and nobody could ever understand.

Then, I opened the top drawer in my bedside table and picked up a picture of Kenzie and I as babies. I stared at it. We were so happy. I was splashing water on her in the pool and shes was in her floaties, laughing her bead off. I crawled under the covers and clutched the photo like it was the last remnants of her. And then, I took the time to ask God if I could have a second chance. To go back to three months ago.

To start all over. But in my heart, I knew it couldn't ever happen.