History (Harry Styles Fan-Fiction)

Chapter 3

Lily's POV

I sat in my bed, listening to my best friends soft snores.

I had managed to somehow shower- ridding myself of the awful sex sweat. I hadn't woken him up and thankfully he hadn't realized my absence.

Now I sat there dress in a old t-shirt from high school and a pair of grey sweatpants, thinking about what had just happened.

I had sex with my best friend. What the hell?

I couldn't even begin to process what I'd done or why I'd done it. Hell, I was still sobering up from the large amount of alcohol I consumed.

Nothing would let me sleep though. Nothing would let me fall into the darkness I wanted to be in. It was like I was being punished for ruining my friendship.

My heart hurt, genuinely. If he woke up and things weren't the same, I don't know what I'd do. I can't lose him. He was one of my best friends- one of my only friends. We had been through so much together. We knew everything about each other. I hated this.

I couldn't stop looking at him. Every time I looked at him, I felt like my heart was slowly breaking. I didn't want to lose him, and I'm so horrified our sexual encounter will cause the end of a very good friendship.

"Lil?" He mumbled slightly.

"Hmmm?" I hummed.

"Why are you awake? Go to sleep."

"Can't sleep." My responses are short, but I can't help it. I don't have the ability to talk.

"Do you want me to sleep on the couch?" He asks, sitting up on his elbow to look at me.

"No. No. Don't be silly."

"Well then lay down. It's 2 am. You need to sleep."

"I can't." My voice snaps, and this time I'm slightly concerned. Why was I being like this? If I kept acting like this, our friendship would go to shit.

He sat up slowly, covering his lower half with the duvet. His hair was all over the place, and his blue eyes were sunken in. He looked exhausted.

"What's wrong?" He tries to settle his hand on my thigh, but there's something in me that causes me to flinch away.

"Lil?" He asks again.

"I'm sorry- I-" He cuts me off mid sentence.

"You regret it?"

The question itself has me wanting to drop to the center of the earth and never come back. Yes I regretted it. But how do you tell someone that without hurting them?

"I'm scared our friendship is going to be so messed up." I tell him honestly. "That's why I regret it."

"I wasn't planning on it getting messed up. Don't overthink it, yeah? It happened once, and if you never want it to happen again, I understand. I wouldn't do anything to ruin our friendship."

"Promise we'll be the same?"

"'Course. Just lay down and sleep yeah?" He touches my knew again  and this time, I let him. It was funny. I saw relief flash across his eyes. He was happy I let him touch me again.

"Carter..." I whispered quietly.

"Yeah?"

"Please go shower. You stink." He let out a loud laugh, shaking his head at me. He stood up from the bed and looked down at me with a happy smile.

"See. Still friends."

************************************

"Carter!" My voice boomed throughout the lobby of my apartment complex.