Gap / Harry Styles RW

Thirty Three

One Direction- Half A Heart

Kat's Pov

"How?" I cry, "How did this happen?" I crawl onto my bed, continuing to cry hysterically to myself. "A- and the paps, they saw, they saw me crying, they saw that they won, they broke us,"

Absolutely distraught, I scream in pain into my pillow. I've never felt like this before, I've never felt so terrible, so torn apart over a guy, he was just a guy.

But no, he wasn't just some guy, he was Harry. For the last six years, just knowing him was a fantasy of mine that I always knew as too good to be true. I remember when I first saw them, the boys at the bottom of the stairs and the cute curly haired one at the front. It would never happen, I would never meet Harry Styles, I would never know Harry Styles and I would certainly never, ever be with Harry Styles.

I thought years of being a fangirl would prepare me. I thought it would make things easier, I mean, I basically knew everything about him, well, that's what I had thought. Harry was so, so much more than what meets the eye. All other drama aside, he picked me up when I was sad, forgave me when I done wrong and every day, made me feel so incredibly happy.

I guess it was just a crazy fluke miracle of my life. I was never that girl that got everything she wanted. Stuff like this never happened to me, I had never felt anything so genuine. We had been real, that was something I was most certain of. I was never anyone other than myself when I was with him and I guess that's one of the reasons why I loved spending time with him.

I just don't understand how something so amazing could turn to shit overnight. It was like suddenly, a switch flipped inside of him after the rumours about Matt and I were released and he no longer believed in us. Me, I had thought we were stronger. I had honestly believed that we could get through the media and the rumours. Sure, it scared me, I was absolutely terrified of what they could do and now I know that I had every right to be. It was insane that someone with just a keyboard and a camera could change someone else's life.

  I rock myself back and forwards in a tiny ball, holding my phone to my ear as it rings out.

Furiously trying to wipe the tears from my face, I try to compose myself but I can't stop thinking about what I had just run away from.

I get up from my bed and trudge into the kitchen pouring myself a glass of water. Just walking in here makes me think about when he cooked us breakfast recently. How I had woken up to pancake batter splattered all around the kitchen and Harry standing in the middle of it all looking like an innocent child.

Just thinking about him makes me burst into an uncontrollable fit of tears.

I thought we could be stronger than them, stronger than the media and its rumours. I thought we could get past all the crap about Matt and I. I thought it was just another speed bump in our lives. God, I'm so stupid. I was ruining him. Harry was trying to launch his solo career and I was just creating more and more problems. How did I ever think we would work? I was such a fool, a complete idiot.

"Come on Mum," I murmur to myself as I call her for the third time. "Pick up, pick up,"

When she doesn't answer again, I set down my phone with a sigh. Timezones, of course. She would be asleep by now. God, I was going crazy.

I remember that night, how I had posted the drunken video online. He was so, so mad at me, and hell, he had the right to be. I deserved all of the things he said to me... I don't even know how he forgave me, he shouldn't have forgiven me, things would have been so much easier if he didn't. I wouldn't be going through what I was now.