Dear Allison. ~ Allydia

009 - Pack Mentality

Stiles took place next to Lydia and Malia was right behind him. He grabbed his notebook and was tapping on the paper with his pen while he watched the teacher coming in and writing with a chalk on the board. He couldn't stop thinking about the dream he had last night and how Allison had screamed that it was his fault. Her death was his fault. It wasn't really Allison, he knew that. Allison probably wouldn't have blamed him for everything that happened. But he did. His friends kept telling him that it wasn't his fault and that they didn't blame him. But he did. He blamed himself for the oni that hurt all those people. He blamed himself for all the people that got hurt and killed in the hospital and he blamed himself for Allison's death. His hand tightened around the pen and he clenched his jaw. He had no idea what to do with all of the guilt that he had been feeling these past weeks. 

A hand on his upperarm startled him and when he looked up he saw Scott. He looked worried and when Stiles looked around, everyone had already left the classroom except for Scott and Lydia. Class was over.

'Stiles, are you okay?' Scott asked.

Stiles dropped the pen and his hand hurt from his tight grip around it. 'Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Why?' He quickly put all of his stuff in his backpack and got up to leave the room. 

'Stiles, I could hear your heartbeat during class. It was beating really fast,' Scott mumbled and he quickly glanced at Lydia to ask her for help but she was looking the other way, distracted.

'Scott, it's okay. I'm fine, just a little stressed out.' 

Scott sighed but nodded his head. 'Okay, Malia and Kira are already headed to the next class.' He turned around and walked past Lydia, leaving the classroom. 

As Stiles wanted to walk past Lydia too, she grabbed his wrist. Startled by the sudden movement and touch, Stiles looked at her. 'Lydia?' She looked at him but her eyes looked cold. 'Lydia, are you okay?'

She lightly shook her head as a smile appeared on her face again. 'Oh, I'm sorry,' she said and let go of his wrist. 'What did you say?' 

'I asked if you're okay,' Stiles answered. 

She smiled again and nodded. 'Yes, of course. Everything's okay.' She turned around and left the class as Stiles watched her leave. Startled and confused. He had no idea what was going on with Lydia, this was the second time that she had acted this strange. He hurried to class and took place next to Scott in the back and saw Lydia was in the front. He bend towards Scott and motioned him to come closer too. 

'I think there's something wrong with Lydia,' he whispered and Scott raised his eyebrows. 'She has been acting differently, even a little strange since I saw her again for the first time today.'

'What do you mean weird?' Scott asked, having no clue what Stiles was talking about.

'She has been staring at nothing. This morning her voice sounded cold and distant and just now she looked at me with this look, like she either hated me or was furious. I couldn't really place it, but it didn't feel like Lydia.'

'Stiles, Lydia has been going trough a lot. She has lost a lot of people in the past years. Probably more than we have. That week she didn't just lose Allison, she lost Aiden too. She saw Jackson die twice and then he left Beacon Hills. Thereby she's still figuring out how to use her powers as a Banshee. She has a lot on her mind and a lot of grief to work trough,' Scott said as he frowned and looked at Stiles. 'I don't think it's weird that she's been acting different. Things like that can change you.' 

Stiles sat back in his seat again and bit his lip. 'You're probably right,' he then said to Scott.

'We just have to be there for her. If she wants to talk about anything, she'll come to us. But until then, we just have to be there for her, be her friends.'

Stiles eyes darted to the front of the class and saw Lydia looking at them. She smiled and he smiled back. Scott was right, but something just didn't feel right and he couldn't shake it off.