mute. - Phan

three.

We've known each other for only 2 weeks now, we never brought up the whole nightmare incident. Phil slept over each Friday. Plus last Tuesday. Gosh, I wanted to talk to him so bad, but I also knew I couldn't. It'd probably ruin everything. It'd mean that I had to talk to everyone else as well and I didn't want to. Not yet. But soon? Maybe.

We walked to school together, every morning. And on Saturday mornings, when he was at my house, so far we'd make breakfast , taking turns and watching Anime together. It was nice. Great routine! I smiled at him, how he turned from the jock to possibly the nicest kid in school after two weeks. Everyone thinks that I did it, but I just think he needed a friend to really sit him back and talk personally with him, but not only asking him the questions, him asking you some too.

His voice was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard in my life. His face was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen as well. He should win awards for both of those.

He was kicking small rocks as we walked into the building. We walked to first period, going to the back and sitting beside one another. I don't smile much, but I felt myself starting to smile a lot more the day I met him. To my family, to friends, to myself, to strangers, it just started happening on its own. Phil is the reasoning for my happiness. I haven't talked to anyone, of course, but I was so close to almost talking to Phil! If it had slipped out like it almost did, what would he have said or thought?

I looked at Phil as he kept his head down, he looked like he didn't get much sleep last night. It was Wednesday. Maybe he just couldn't fall asleep?

[Phil] -

I stayed up all night, I went to Alfie's party which lasted until like 3 am. I sighed. The bags under my eyes said it all. I was afraid Dan would notice, but he hadn't made me read anything on his board. I looked up at him staring at me, our eyes met. I smiled and looked back down. I heard him sigh and his hands were tapping his thighs to the beat of a song that wasn't even on. He seemed nervous. When we were standing in line for lunch, his knees wouldn't stay still. I thought all day what was wrong with him. He sat with Chris because Dan told me that Chris had to talk to him.

I watched them carefully, making sure Dan was okay. I just want to protect him with all I have. I know it's lame, but he's just too precious to give away and get hurt.

Dan was nodding, writing on his white board to them as they exchanged words. I watched. Tapping my foot in an anxious, annoying way.
"Phil, your boyfriend's fine! Stop tapping your foot, it's moving the whole table." I rolled my eyes and flipped Pj off, looking at him as he laughed, shaking his head. I stopped my foot and made my eyes back to look at Dan, he was gone. I stood up, looking around, I turned my body and saw him again. I wanted to sigh of relief but my breath got stuck when I saw he was staring at me. Ouch. Those eyes can literally kill you. We stared at one another for a few more seconds before he left my eyes with a small smile and was out of sight.

I got my backpack, walking in the direction of where I lost saw him. I was jogging now, finding he wasn't near. I stopped when I saw him and Chris. Dan 's head was down. Chris was telling him something but I couldn't hear. I slowly made my way around and stopped my feet at the corner.

"Dan, just talk to me. C'mon it can't be that hard!" Chris was clearly drunk, possibly high as well. "Dan, I love you." I rolled my eyes, looking as Chris starting getting furious with Dan. I could tell something was up, but before I reached them, Chris had shoved Dan to the floor, yelling.

I ran, running and pushing Chris back.

"What the fuck!" He was on the floor, leaving me with guilt. "You can't treat someone that way! You can't make him talk! If he doesn't want to, respect it!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, punching him, not stopping until I heard a tiny weep. I sat down, turning to Dan and standing up with an angry face. I helped him to his feet, dusting him off and sighing, looking in his eyes. They brought me to my happy place. "T-thank you." Dan's soft and quiet voice.. DANS SOFT AND QUIET VOICE. HOLY FUCK. HE JUST SPOKE! "What the fuck." I breathed, he giggled a little and looked at me with a small smile. "Sorry." Dan got his things and started walking off, I caught up after realizing what just happened. "No, no, Dan, please. I'm just in shock, please stay." He turned around and nodded, my hand tight around his arm.

"Was it worth two weeks?" I still wasn't used to his voice. As we were laying on my bed, eating popcorn and watching tv. "Yes. " I looked at him and smiled widely , "I think with that voice, I'd wait 50 years and it'd be worth it. You're the best person I've ever met even having to talk to you without you talking. Just writing on your board." I saw him smile, his eyes were a bit watery but he hid that. "I liked what you told Chris. Erm, it was nice." I sat up, leaning against the wall beside him. "I had to stick up for you."

"How did you find us?"
"Uhm... Ha.. I followed you back there and eventually found you. I was kinda listening the whole time." I admitted, making him blush.
"Oh.. Do you think he'll remember?" I shook my head and sighed. "He didn't even mean what he said. Maybe he was frustrated with you not talking and you hanging out with me, maybe he does love you. But he most definitely didn't mean to hurt you or anything like that. Chris is actually a good kid. It's just, he sells drugs and alcohol and he's into that stuff big time, I didn't want you included in that because a kid who was involved died last year.." I took a breath and continued, "once you get in there, you're never out unless you're out of the world. Chris can't get out unless they kill em. That's why I didn't want you hanging out with them too much. "

"What about you? Don't you drink and smoke?" He added , I just nodded, my eyes filled with guilt. "Yeah. But it's nothing that big." I played with his hair as he laid in my lap. "Promise?" I nodded and gave him a small kiss on his cheek, hoping it wasn't too much. "Yeah. I promise."