#SorryNotSorry

Chapter Seven - 2010 pt. 2

[Song Selection: I Did You Wrong - Pleasure P]

It's been a couple months since my grandma passed and this just made me grind harder. Money was to be made by any means. I was boss lady, but I dealt with the killa in me on most days. Heartless murder. I didn't give a damn if they had families. I didn't give a damn if the family knew who did it. Bet they won't try to get at me.

My hormonal ass pushed everyone away. I pushed Sam, Rico and Roman away. I kept ignoring Darren tryna call me from jail. I was a cold ass bitch. It was just me, my unborn child and Cantrell. That's all I had and that's all I wanted at the time.

I spent the day tracking this dude that owed Ghost money. I pimped this dude so good, he didn't even know he was gon be dead when our conversation ended. I really ain't give a fuck though. I shot point blank right between the eyes, and walked away with the phone to my ear letting my cleaners know they had to get rid of the body.

Tayla and Tori wanted me to meet them for lunch, but I knew they were just tryna set up a meeting between me and Sammy. I really just need space.

I get to the parking lot of my house and see a blue Jeep blocking my driveway. All that came to mind was maybe Rico got another car. Seemed like he had a car for each day of the week and then some. Even though we hardly talked lately, he would still drop by.

I parked behind the Jeep and got out going into the house. When I got in, it was completely quiet other than muffled music coming from upstairs. Following the music, I started to hear moans and grunts. I know Rico didn't bring no bitch to my house to fuck. He ain't that slow. The music was coming from my bedroom. Now I know Rico ain't that slow. I open the door quietly and watch as the man I loved was beating down the walls of this random chick.

My five and a half month pregnant self wasn't gon fight or argue over nan nigga. I pulled the gun I just handled ol boy with, and shot it in the ceiling causing Cantrell to stop midstroke and face me.

"Why is this fat, ugly chick in your house, bae?" the bitch had the nerve to ask.

"Yeah, bae? Why is this woman that's pregnant with your child in her own house that you pay no bills in?" I snickered. My petty mode went to 1000.

The look he gave me was priceless. "Babe. K-Kai I can explain."

"Get the fuck out. Both of y'all," I growled. I was ready to kill.

"I ain't gettin outta shit!" Cantrell had the nerve to say.

I shot in his direction grazing his shoulder on purpose. I didn't wanna kill him, but I would if I had to. He grabbed the fresh wound while the girl scampered out of the house past me. She was in nothing but a bra, but I gave no fucks.

Trell tried to come at me bleeding heavily from his shoulder. By the time he reached me another gun shot rang, but it wasn't from me. Rico was standing in the doorway with his gun drawn.
His face was red as a beet, he aimed at Cantrell and said, "I told yo ass before, I'll kill you if you hurt her. Get yo ass out this house before yo mark ass end up dead. If you come back, two slugs to the dome my nigga!"

I knew Rico rode hard for me, but even after how I been treating him? I knew he would keep that promise though so I fell back staring at the two.

Cantrell looked at me for an answer like I was gonna defend him. Nah bruh, cross me once and we're done. I plays second fiddle to nan bitch.

He let himself out holding his arm. I didn't allow him to get dressed or anything.

"Thank you, Ric," I said lowly looking at my feet. I was embarrassed and ashamed. I should've listened to everybody when it came to Cantrell. I'm dumb as fuck.

Rico wrapped me up in his arms and kissed my head, "It's ok, baby. You needed to find out one day."

"The fuck you mean, Rico?" I pushed out of the embrace.

"Ma, he been fuckin around on you for the longest. Whenever we tried to tell you, you flipped on us," he shrugged.

Thinking back, this was true. I've been pushing the few that mean the most to me away for a nigga. Now here I am a single parent. I haven't even graduated yet. Fuck my life. I was supposed to be married before even having sex. How I let this snake ass dude play me like that? Shit's unreal.

-----

"Man you gotta go. It's due time," Rico stood at the passenger door peering at me.

I sighed getting out of the stone gray G-Class. This is the last thing I needed closure from before my son got here. We went into the prison. Hutchins State. I dreaded going in there, but hey, my bruddah was here.

We checked in and sat quietly at a table waiting for Darren to come out. Still can't believe he got life though. He didn't even pull the trigger. If he would've just stayed with us, he wouldn't even be here. We have so many officers on payroll, it's ludicrous.

I hear chains clink and put my head down. I really couldn't see my bruddah like this. I just feel like shit.

"Ric! What's up brody!? Thought you was ramblin when you said you could get Kai to come," they slap hands and I stay silent.

I look up at Darren and he looks the same. It's only been two years, but I just thought he would've changed. He does have actual facial hair now. His locks also look longer. I smile small at his appearance, but still couldn't bring myself to say anything.

"Well since you ain't gon say shit, why you ain't tell me I was gon have a nephew?" He playfully mugged.

"I couldn't face you, D. I was angry at you for so damn long. This isn't how we were supposed to be. I'm supposed to be on the way to UT to study pharmacology. You were supposed to get a full ride and play college ball. You supposed to be the next Vince Young, bruddah. Rico the only one of us staying true to their passion. He always said he was gon be a producer," I pour my heart out.

Darren let a tear fall, "I'm sorry sustah, I really am. I love you. Both of y'all. Y'all knew how my mama was though. I needed more money. Bitch ass Omari set us up though. He knew that nigga was a cop. He was there."

"Omari was at the scene?" I asked putting some shit together in my head. Darren nodded. I can't believe this shit.

Rico wanted to lighten the mood because he saw the look on my face. "We gotta name my son, D. She tryna name him Hayden."

"I thought you was wit Trell ... ain't that his son?"

"Not with Trell cheating ass no more, this is his baby though. Long story, I'll tell you when you get out," I roll my eyes.

"Life without parole, Kai. I'm not gettin out."

"What's my full name, bruddah?"

"Kailar Nicole Nandin?"

"You'll be out before Hayden gets here in September," I wink at one of the guards. He been on payroll for a minute. I wanted to legally get him out and off papers though.

"Ok. But my nephew name ain't gon be no damn Hayden. That's a female name. Use my middle name."

"You gotta use mine too. Name him Kaiden or Kameron or Kamden," Rico put his two cents in. His middle name was Kameron.

"I like Kamden. His middle name can be ... Zacory," Darren added. His middle name was LaCory.

"So y'all just gon sit here and name my baby?" I laugh.

"Yup," they said in unison.

"OK. But promise me one thing, D. Promise when I get you out that you will stay away from the drug game. Come back to the music. I have some songs only you can sing," I said with pleading eyes.

"I gotchu sustah. Just promise you'll stop killin. You got my nephew nah and he don't need to be like us. He needs better. You used to be the sweetest girl," he shook his head. Rico nodded.

I agreed. I couldn't stay doing this forever. I gotta child to raise. I gotta be better than my parents. I will be better than my parents.

Kamden Zacory Nandin born September 1, 2010.