I Love You, You Love Her

PLEASE LISTEN TO THIS SONG IT RESEMBLES A STORY OF BEST FRIENDS FALLING IN LOVE BUT SECRETLY

I was scared to lose you then
But secrets turn into regrets
Buried feelings grow
Oh, you were a good dream
-Lifetime, Ben&Ben

As the song goes and plays along on my earphones as I am going to school, I can't help but think about the guy whom I fell in love so hard that I can even go back up after 7 years.

I know it has been a very long time and that I should move on. Yes, I tried and I thought I succeeded. But in the end all the efforts I made for 2 years trying to forget him got broken with just one look. Just one look from him was all it took me to give up everything and love him again just like the first time.

But not all fairy tales are real after all. Just like before I got broken - hearted, but instead of shouting it out to the world like the first time, I just kept everything to myself with no one knowing a thing about it but my diary.

Then I realized after seeing him being the center of attention as MVP, as he is slowly building his dream with someone else by his side to support him and love him for all that he is. I think it is time. It's time for me to move on after 7 years of chasing, you can never push someone to love you back if he loves someone else, might as well give then the fairy tale, forever, ever after, that they could have than to stop them from reaching that point in their lives and end up hurting.

Now I am satisfied with just looking at him from the crowd instead of dreaming that I could be the one supporting him to the achievements that he is going to achieve. I try. I really do. To be happy for him being with her, instead of thinking that it could be my position.

I don't wanna be selfish anymore. I'm done fighting for the love I cannot have. Might as well support the one you love, love someone else. Even if it hurts. Even if it's hard. Even if in the end you end up crying. Because what matters the most is their happiness.

I have reached my destination and walked to class. Still with a heavy heart. With that hole inside my chest as big as the sun. But sooner or later I'll learn to close this and find someone else to fill it with love. But for now I am contented.

Moving on is a slow process. But I hope at the end of the tunnel every heartache and tears is worth the wait.

***

The worst part is when I just see him here around the campus together with the one he truly loves. While I am still here stuck in the past, not daring to move on and can't help but think that in the end he may come back to me and I am here waiting with open arms, ready to love him.

Yet, I know she makes him happy and that is what's important for me, his happiness. Even though it hurts... I am willing to accept it because I am still hoping someday, somehow... I'll have my own happiness that he is experiencing. I will soon find my own love that's willing to give me the world and I'll be happy to reciprocate.

And in the end, that's what I am hoping for. A happiness for the both of us even if it's not being with each other.