The forced pain

Part 12

When I left the room to change I go to Emily.
"You wanted to talk to me?"
I ask. And she just stare at me. "Well, I just wanted to say that I'm so glad that I can give you PE. I'm just so happy that I know you."
I look at her and play with my fingers. Totally speechless.
"Like.... I-- I know for sure that you're on my side and I've never had this kinda contact with a student."
I look straight into her green eyes.
"Nice to hear that. You're at least one person that cares about me. But really, I feel the same."
She stares at my left arm that is hidden in a quarter sleeve.
"What's wrong with your arm?"
Damn, what should I say?
"Euhm..." I stutter.
"I guess I know what it is. But I just don't know why."
"Rough story." I say tough.
She is confused.
"I've got time. What's your next lesson?"
"Religions..." I sigh.
"You can skip that, I'll talk to Mr. Garby."
"If you're really that interested, okay."
"Not only interested, I like to know more about you. And I'm worried."
Omg! Did she really say that? I'm dying!
She smiles and I can feel the sparks in my stomach.
"Let's go to Starbucks..."
"I don't want you to get in trouble. At school is also okay."
"Spencer, please. I'll fix everything."
I nod and take my bag. In an awkward silence we walk to that coffee shop. Tbh, I love Starbucks! When we arrived we ordered 2 macchiatos laté. We sit down, drink and talk. First about stupid little things. Like about boys or school shit.
"And eu--hm how are you. Really..." She asks to change the subject.
"It's complicated..."
"Well, try me." And she smiles.
"I don't get it." I say quietly.
"You don't get what spencer?"
"Everything and everyone."
"What do you mean?"
Even though I can't believe it by myself but Justin his song hits my brain.
"No one likes me. No one cares. No one want me. No one...."
"SPENCER, I CARE ABOUT YOU. These days I live so unsure because I know that there can be a moment you can be gone." She says.
"But I can't do this anymore, I don't wanna live." I hear a crack in my voice. Guess imma bout to cry. She is in shock I guess. Her hand touches my knee.
"Spencer, I'll never let you down. And I'll never forgive myself if you're gone. I can't handle that."
"I'm sorry..."
I look at my watch and see we've to go back.
"Yeah, we should talk another time I guess." I say confused.
We walk back to school and I go to my next class. An extremely weird feeling goes through my body it feels like an electric tick. I keep thinking bout our conversation we had. It's so painfully. Why does it have to go like this?