So lately, I've noticed something. Something horrible. Now we all know that moment, when something feels wrong, but you don't know what. This happens every single time that I happen to be in a relaxing position, about to fall asleep, after eating a delectable can of Fancy Feast. Ahhh, there's nothing better than that. Until I see Pokey run into the room, and hide under the bed. However, I take that with a grain of salt. That's just a minuscule warning of what's to come.
I hear silence, and I'm calm, and warm in the drawer in the drawer of socks, about to fall into a deeeeeep slumber until- RRARRRRRARARARAAARRRARARARR!!!
Clearly, God hates me.
The siren of danger.
This demon is not like any other. It's black, and tall, with a tongue that sucks up everything in its path. Even the hamster. I swear, it was the black demon. Not me.
Anyways, the humans seem to be the master of this demon. They always come to the rescue, but they still suck. If your reading this, human, you suck. By the way, about the hamster.........
I REGRET NOTHING.
Anyway, the humans call this thing a Vacuum. I looked it up, and never touched the keyboard again.
What's the lyrics to that song? What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stand a little taller, except for vacuums, they will kill you. Trust me, the hamster proved that. I swear. *cough, cough*
Quite frankly, I tried to conquer vacuum once....
1 pair of torn curtains
2 pairs of soiled shoes (#sorrynotsorry hehehe)
3 knocked over bookcases
=one cat who is screwed.
After that incident, I learned to slowly push Pokey into the crime scene. No shame in blame. Remember that. It comes in handy.
Vaccum has always scared the crap out of me, but let me present to you:
GRUMPY CAT'S PHOBIA SESSIONS
My first customer Is Lil Bub.
GC (Grumpy Cat): So what your phobia?
LB (Lil Bub): Miley Cyrus Virus
GC: No. Just no. Start again. Miley Cyrus Virus? What is that?
LB: I have this problem....
GC: What is it Lil Bub!!?? Spit it out! Jeez...
LB: I have a tendency to stick out my tongue alot.
YOU ARE READING
The Life Of a Grumpy Cat
HumorI hate Mondays. And the internet. But that doesn't mean a cat like me doesn't want to share my horror story. A.K.A. my life.
