Secrets Will Kill You: The Sequel

Endings Are Hard...But Nothing Ever Really Ends, Does It? Part 3

~Endings are hard. Any chapped-ass monkey with a keyboard can poop out a beginning, but endings are impossible. You try to tie up every loose end, but you never can. The fans are always gonna bitch. There's always gonna be holes. And since it's the ending, It's all supposed to add up to something. I'm telling you, they're a raging pain in the ass.~

“What are you gonna do now?” Dean asked Cas as we were all in the Impala, driving down the dark road with Cas in the backseat, in the middle, leaning forward slightly.

“Return to heaven, I suppose”

“Heaven?”

“With Michael in the cage, I'm sure it's total anarchy up there”

“So, what, you're the new sheriff in town?”

“Yeah. I like that. Yeah. I suppose I am”

I just grunted in response. “Wow. God gives you a brand-new, shiny set of wings, And suddenly you're his bitch again” Dean said.

“I don't know what God wants. I don't know if he'll even return. It just...seems like the right thing to do”

“Well, ya know what? If you do see him, you tell him I’m coming for him next” I murmured, venomously.

“You're angry”

I scoffed. “That’s an understatement"

“He helped. Maybe even more than we realize"

“That's easy for you to say. He brought you back. But what about Sam and Brittney? What about Mel? What about me? Huh? Where’s the grand prize? All I got is my brother and my best friend in a hole!”

“You got what you asked for, Dean. No paradise. No Hell. Just more of the same. I mean it, guys. What would you rather have? Peace…or freedom?”

Then…I felt weirdly empty…and when I turned my head, I saw Cas was gone. “Well, you really suck at goodbyes, ya know that?” I sighed.

Then, Dean did too and we just sat in more silence as we followed Bobby back to his place. By the time we got there, it was day again. I let Bobby keep the keys to my truck…there wasn’t much of a point for me to use it anymore. Not even the truck made me feel close to my dad anymore so it’s not like it had much of a purpose anymore…now I just have memories and dreams. He still comes sometimes here and there…if I really need him to be with me so we can just talk like we used to. I hugged Bobby goodbye, took one last look at my truck and my bike that was slowly being repaired…and then I got back in the Impala with Dean and we drove off.

This is the last Dean and Melissa will see Bobby for a very long time…and, for the record, at this point next week, Bobby will be hunting a rugaru outside of Dayton. But not Dean and Mel. Dean and Melissa didn't want Cas to save them. Every part of them…every fiber they’ve got wants to die…or find a way to bring Sam and Brittney back. But they aren’t gonna do either. Because they made a promise…and because they have a responsibility waiting for them….

We pulled up to the house I had bought when Dean and I had took off when we were going through our little phase of just killing ourselves by giving ourselves up to Michael. We got out and walked up to the door. I knocked. The door swung open to reveal Abbey wearing a cooking apron…she was smiling at first but then it faltered when she saw me about to break.

“Have room for two more in the new house?” I tried to manage a smile.

“Of course…come in, come in” she said quickly, pulling us both in. “Chris!” she called out.

I couldn’t hold it in anymore though, the tears started to come. “Come here” she said and pulled me into her arms to hug me tight. “It’s okay…it’s going to be okay” she whispered, trying to comfort me.

I pulled away when I saw Chris come into the room. “Mel!” he said, just as shocked as Abbey looked.

Then, I walked over to hug him as well and I just buried my head into his chest while I saw Abbey pulled Dean into a hug to and he let her…he also let her see him cry a little. In all honesty, I was picturing myself hugging Sam…trying to get that safe, comforting feeling again…but it just wasn’t the same. It kind of looked like Dean was almost trying to picture Abbey was Brit…but I knew it wasn’t working for him either.

“Abbey? I think the cookies are…” another voice started to say.

I pulled away to see Jesse come walking into the room. I wiped my face quickly and he looked up at me in shock as I grinned. “Melissa!” he cheered and ran to me. “Hey little man” I tried to hide my sob as I picked him up to hug him tight.

“I cant believe you came back” he whispered into my hair. “I told you I would” I whispered back.

“Where’s…” he started to say but then looked up. “Dean’s here too!” he cheered and I put him down quickly as he raced into Dean’s arms while he croutched down to Jesse’s level.

I smiled at the sight…but I still felt the pain inside me. “Jesse…why don’t you and Chris go put the cookies in the oven and put dinner on the table and I’ll bring Melissa and Dean in, in one second. I want to show them to their room” Abbey suggested.

“They’re staying?” His face lit up.

“Yep. That okay?” Dean asked, trying to chuckle and hide his own pain behind his eyes.

“Of course it is…but where’s…” he started but then stared into Dean’s eyes and he must of seen the shine in them and he stopped himself. “Never mind…” he murmured. “Just don’t take too long” he added.

“We’ll be right in” Abbey promised and he just nodded and walked off with Chris into the kitchen.

With the short amount of time that we had, I tried to sum up what happened at the cemetery…what happened to Sam and Brit…there was just no way to sum up what I was feeling though. I ended up just promising to explain in better detail tomorrow after Dean and I got a hot meal in our system with a good nights sleep. We followed her into the kitchen right as Chris had put lasagna in the center of the table and Jesse put plates around the table. Dean and I forced a smile for Jesse while we talked and listened to how his life has been ever since we dropped him off with Abbey and Chris. It’s obvious he loves being with them and he told us about some friends he made, up in Canada and some friends he’s making, right here, where he is now. Abbey and Chris had steady jobs that paid really well and with Abbey having a job where she just has to work from home, it made things easier for her and Jesse to hang out and Chris makes sure he has time for Jesse too which I was grateful for.

That night, Dean and I tucked Jesse in and he was nervous to go to sleep…he wouldn’t let me leave the room unless we promised that we would still be there in the morning when he woke up. Once we did, he agreed to go to sleep. We said goodnight to Abbey and Chris and then we walked to our room that was down the hallway and around the corner from Jesse’s…I’m telling you, this house was pretty big. We both changed into pajamas and then we just stood there, facing each other, two feet away from one another.

Then, without any words at all, he came at me forcefully and took me into his arms to just cry into my shoulder. I hugged him back just as tight and I cried into his chest. I think we were both trying to fill the voids inside us by trying to mold together. We stood there for a while, just crying into each other. Then, I took his hand to lead him to the bed. We got under the blanket and laid close together so our faces were inches apart and we just laid there, staring at each other with tears flowing down our faces. It felt like we didn’t shut our eyes once to even try to get some sleep…but we eventually did fall asleep, holding hands. I felt him pull me closer though and just hold me….

So, what's it all add up to? It's hard to say. But me, I'd say this was a test...for Sam, Brittney, Melissa and Dean…and I think they did all right. Up against good, evil, angels, devils, destiny, and God himself. They made their own choice. They chose family. And, well...isn't that kind of the whole point? No doubt…endings are hard. But then again...nothing ever really ends, does it?