Who Ben is Now

Not On You

"Are you okay, Allevra?"

I looked up into a set of large, dark-brown eyes. Ben Solo, at only nine years of age, was looking down at me. I was sitting on the ground after taking a nasty tumble, resulting in a bad scrape to my left knee.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I replied, taking a look at the injury. The skin on my knee was bruised and slightly bloody, with a few bits of dirt and grass stuck to the wound. Curious, I gave the scrape a small poke before drawing my hand back from the sharp sting.

"I don't think you'd make a very good Jedi. You can't dodge very good," said the young boy, still holding his "lightsaber" in hand. We had been pretending to fight, using small sticks as our sabers. As Ben had said, however, I wasn't very good.

"That's fine. I don't want to be a Jedi," I remarked, taking the boy's hand and slowly making my way back into a standing position. At only seven-and-a-half years old, I was a few inches shorter that Han and Leia's son.

He looked slightly disappointed. "Why not?"

I sighed an overdramatic sigh, as any typical seven-year-old would. "Nobody's supposed to know about my force, remember? Mommy and Daddy say it's not even big enough for me to use it."

"Big enough?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

I turned to pick my stick-saber back up. "Big enough. You know. You've got lots and lots of force. I only have a little."

Ben let out a genuine laugh, one that made me smile. "I don't think you measure the force in big and little. Uncle Luke says that when you're force-sensitive, you have the same potential as the strongest Jedi that have ever been. You just have to learn how to harness it."

This time it was my turn to laugh. "Yeah, but even if I could have a lot of force one day, I wouldn't use it. I don't want to be a Jedi. Unlike some people!"

Ben's small eyebrows furrowed. "I don't want to be a Jedi. Mom and Dad are making me."

At this thought, Ben angrily chucked his stick a few feet away. I watched, almost jealously, as he used the force to bring it right back into his grasp. It amazed me, the way that he could use the force so easily.

"When do you have to leave to train?" I asked, barely old enough to understand.

He shook his head. "I don't know, but I heard Mom crying about it the other day, saying that she 'doesn't think I'm ready'. I guess that means soon."

I looked down at my bare feet, saddened. There was no idea I hated more at the time than my best friend being sent away for Jedi training. Nervously, I picked the dirt out of my scraped knee.

Deciding to change the subject, Ben glanced upward. "Peiamu sure does have a weird sky."

I laughed. When we were children, Ben and his parents had often made week-long visits to my home planet. Our parents were great friends, and I'm sure that they quite liked being able to stay in the palace for weeks at a time. However, Peiamu's outrageously lush plants and deeply-pink skies had often left Ben at a loss for words.

"It's only weird to you because you're not used to it. I've never seen anything different."

Just then, a loud bell began to ring all the way out into the edge of the forest, where we were playing. It rang again and again and again, growing louder each time.

"Allevra, we've got to go. It's dinner time."

I sighed, still focused on the scrape covering my knee. I wanted to spend hours and hours out there, playing and fighting and talking with Ben. "Can't we stay out here a little longer?"

I felt Ben begin to tug on my arm. "Allevra, come on."

Suddenly, his voice began to sound a little strange. I looked at him with confusion, half-expecting him to clear his throat. Instead, he simply continued to pull on my arm. "Allevra, come on!"

His voice began to grow lower and lower, and I began to feel fear. Suddenly, I didn't feel safe going anywhere. I dug my feet into the muddy ground, attempting to resist Ben's pull.

"Allevra!" he cried again. I shrank my eyes shut and shook my head.

"No," I cried. Something was wrong. Everything was blurry and both Ben and I began to sound strange. "No."

"Allevra!"

"No!"

Allevra!

I fluttered my eyes open, a bead of sweat running down the side of my forehead. In front of me was what seemed to be a large glass of water tilted towards my mouth.

"Allevra."

It was Ben's voice. I looked around to discover that I was laying on a bed. There was a cold rag draped across my forehead, and Ben Solo, Kylo Ren, whatever the hell you wanted to call him, was at my side. I met his gaze with a confused and scared look.

"Allevra, please drink. Don't ask me anything, don't get angry, just drink."

For the first time, I did not fight. Instead, I gave a weak nod before pressing my lips to the tipped glass in front of me, allowing Ben's free hand to push me into a slightly better angle. When my parched, cracked lips met the taste of water, it was all I could do not to drown myself in the stuff. A thousand cups would not be enough. It was as if I had forgotten how good water tasted.

After taking a few large gulps, Ben drew the cup away. I let out a small groan in protest and reached out for the cup, but he raised it far away from my reach.

"Slower. You'll throw up if you drink it too fast."

After waiting obediently, he once again brought the cup to my mouth, allowing me to quickly finish off what was inside.

"I will be right back. Please sit still," he said, walking away to retrieve more water. I took the opportunity to slowly sit up, feeling my head spin as I did so.

Taking a look around, I noticed that the room was an absolute mess; there was food and broken objects strewn about everywhere, and the tray that I had knocked over still laid on its side. The only different being that this time, it laid in jagged, burnt pieces on the bedroom floor; an action that I was sure I hadn't committed myself.

When Kylo returned with another glass of water, he slowly allowed me to hold it on my own. I drank it slightly slower this time, relishing the feeling as the cool liquid slid down my desert-dry throat. I could feel it pool and slosh around in my empty stomach.

Eventually, I was forced to come up for air. I licked my lips and turned to make eye contact with Kylo, whom seemed to be watching me intensely. I took a moment to settle my racing thoughts before deciding on something to say to him.

"Used the lightsaber, huh?" I asked.

He frowned. I watched as, for a split second, his eyes flicked to the table on the opposite side of the room.

"Not on you, no."

A/N: Oh my gosh, everybody! So, so sorry for the week long wait for an update! Starting my second semester of college caused a delay in the writing, but Saturday has given me plenty of time and inspiration to put out this baby. I know that it's a bit shorter than other chapters, but I really wanted to have a small glance at Ben and Allevra's past for everybody. Please let me know what you think in the comments and one again, thanks for all of your support! Expect a new chapter fairly soon!