Who Ben is Now

So I've Heard

Sleep did not come easily in my new bed. Although my new room was almost identical to that of Kylo's, I found myself unable to relax and grow comfortable.

After a pair of troopers delivered a late supper to my cabin, Kylo ceased his telepathic conversations with me. It was then that the uneasiness began to fill my mind. Over the last forty-eight hours prior, I had been kidnapped, threatened, tortured, and restrained in a holding cell on more than one occasion. However, it wasn't until Kylo had sent me away to room 22088 that I had ever truly felt alone on the Finalizer.

I laid awake for hours, unsure of what the morning would bring. I was in no way eager to begin my "training" with Kylo, no matter what it entailed.

When sleep finally took over, I was plagued with night terrors. Visions of a young Ben Solo, my home planet of Peiamu, and my less-than-pleasant past continually made an appearance in my dreams. What little slumber I got was ruined by a continuous cycle of nightmares.

After waking up for the fifth time, I decided that it was no longer worth the effort to try to go back to sleep. Being the early morning, there wasn't that much more sleep to get.

Instead, I turned onto my side and stared out the enormous window to my right. I watched the distant stars faintly twinkle, as if acknowledging my attention. Although I could still hear the constant hum that the engine of the ship made, I figured that we must have been merely drifting through space.

I wondered, for a moment, if the Finalizer had any place to go.

Staring at the window seemed to put me in a trance - one that I immediately snapped out of when a knock sounded at the door.

Cautiously, I slipped my feet over the edge of the bed; prepared to run if need be.

"Come in."

In marched yet another pair of Stormtroopers. I was beginning to get sick of those white and black suits. The two nodded at me before speaking.

"We have your breakfast. Master Ren has requested that we tell you to be ready for your training in less than one hour."

My eyes must have looked like dinner plates. An hour? It couldn't have been but 5:30 a.m.

I glanced at the clock on my bedside table. It read 5:03.

"Is he crazy?" I asked, rubbing my eyes.

I expected a laugh. A chuckle, maybe. Instead, the troopers were silent.

I took it as a yes.

When the two troopers left, I took a look at the food they had delivered. Although my stomach was rumbling at the site of breakfast, I suddenly felt unbearably queasy. Stomach acid crawled its way up my esophagus, choking me from the inside. My anxiety about the day's upcoming events were making me sick.

I had spent so long hiding from the First Order's grasp. It had always been in the back of my mind: the possibility that they would want to train me in the dark side of the force. And yet there I was, about to begin said training.

There was simply no way that I could eat.

Instead, I focused my attention on looking for a change of clothing. Although Kylo had never specified exactly what type of training we would be doing, I figured my best bet was to go with athletic clothing.

After digging around in the closet, I found a shirt and pair of pants that I deemed appropriate for exercise. I had apparently been provided with three different shoes, although each of them seemed to be different sizes. I found that the second pair I had tried on – a set of plain, black boots – fit the best.