Angels {z.m}

16. Missing

"I thought I saw you in The Battleship but it was only a look alike, She was nothing but a vision trick under the warning light"

Zayn's voice disappeared on the other side of the line. I kept in silence waiting and hoping for another sound but the only noise present was the absence of it. I grabbed the comics and I walked to the smiley cashier. I gave her the money and ran outside the store. My heart was racing, I pushed the comics against my chest and I ran to home. People looked at me like I was insane, and they were probably right. I had the feeling that something was really wrong, really, really wrong. 

When I reached my door I breath was totally uncontrolled and my fingers were shaking around the keys but I was able to open it at first. 

"Zayn!" I screamed trying to control the panic on my voice. "I brought you a present!"

I didn't get any answer.

"I brought you...a present."I said again with tears on my eyes. 

Where was him? I ran upstairs, maybe he was on his room with the headphones I had let him use. But he wasn't. The room was empty. The bed was organized, my brother's clothes were folded and everything was pretty clean, where was the usual mess? I notice he only took his old clothes, and the comics and a backpack. 

His draws were the only thing messed up. He had ripped some of them. He was angry with something but with what? I grabbed the pieces of paper on the floor and tried to see what was on it.

At first, I didn't understand what was on the papers, it looked like some doodles really similar to the ones he did on the back of magazines or in some old journal. But then I understood it was far from it, it was a sketch of my eyes. I put together the many parts of it and I met a new type of Zayn's art, a perfect, organized one.  On the back of the drawing it was something written. 

"Dear Alison,

 I'm sorry and thank you for everything. I tried to live a normal life with you but I don't think it's possible. I love you since I found you for the very first time, those hazel eyes always fool my mind, but what I'm doing it's insane. Harry opened my eyes for the fact I will make you suffer. I don't want that, Alison, I hope you understand. 

I saw you growing up and being happy with a lot of people, you can do it without me. 

Zain. x"

My hands kneaded the paper and I threw it against the wall. He thought about giving the letter to me, why didn't he give it to me? 

He couldn't have gone far. Could he? I grabbed my car keys while my head thought about all the possibilities. Where would he go? I cleaned the tears off my face and I drove myself to my car. He wouldn't leave me, no he couldn't. I knew about the consequences of falling in love with someone that I knew that in a few months would be gone. 

I knew, but I still wanted his arms around me. 

My hands were shaking around the steering wheel. He would be back to me.

Zayn

I knew that maybe it was a bad idea, but I couldn't think about anything else. 

My hands were hurting because the bag I had was actually heavy with the food and some shirts. I could catch a bus but I didn't know how that worked. It was stupid, I was not a good human, I was a terrible one. 

Where was Harry? He could help me. 

I walked around for a few minutes and I realized I was far enough. I couldn't walk more my body was feeling tired of everything. I was walking for two hours and I was feeling tired already, I didn't know where I was but that was what I wanted. My eyes passed through a girl near a coffee. 

Alison? My legs got some speed I didn't know I had and guided me to the girl.

"Alison!" I called grabbing her shoulder.

"Hey! Who are you?"

The strange girl looked at me like I was insane. It was not her, not even close. Why wasn't her? For seconds I gained some hope but I lost it on the moment she looked at me. 

"I'm sorry, I thought it was another person..." I said without taking my eyes off her.

"Creepy." I heard while I walked away from her.

I wanted Alison. Alison wouldn't be rude. She would understand. She would smile and say "it's okay, it happens" like she used to say when I broke the glass or when I burned her rice. She was too good for me, she was too good for anyone.

I sat on the floor looking at the street. I found myself having a "Dejá vu". It was like the first night, the street, the cold, the people staring and the feeling of loneliness. What would I do? Wait?

"Stupid." I whispered to myself. 

I closed my eyes for a second. My head was hurting, too many thoughts rambling around. Where was Alison? How was she? She was stubborn, she would look for me. I didn't want that. Or maybe I did. Stupid, I was stupid. 

"What I've I done?" I took a deep breath and I felt some eyes looking at me for seconds when I talked. I was on the middle of the street talking to myself, people were thinking I was crazy.

I destroyed her life, I was such a disappointment.

A drop of water made me open my eyes. The rain started to fall making me get up and run to a shelter. I couldn't sleep on the rain. Should I return home? 

No. I wouldn't cause her more pain.

I missed her. 

I sat under the shelter near a TV store, I would catch a cold. Alison warned about the rain, it was fun but I would get cold but I wouldn't die, just a cold. 

"Zayn?" 

"Go away." I said to the known voice.

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Hello! I'm so so so sorry for taking so long but the end of the semester is coming and I can't even breath on the middle of works and exams. This week his being calm for now so I finally got sometime to write for you guys. Thank you for not giving up I hope you understand. xx