"Only 2 months ago I was the only one for him, Dudley was my whole world and I was his. Our love was carefree, daring and it excited me! But, it was bound to end sometime seeing as both our heads were in the clouds," I explained to my psychiatrist (Bey) as she took notes of every word that slipped my tongue. " And none of us were really stable I guess"
Before Bey could ask another question we shared a moment of silence. She looked into my eyes as if she cared but what do I know? she's getting paid either way, I had either stunned her silent by how open I was in today's session or she was just reliving her own experiences beneath her professional exterior. After about 20 seconds of the unbearable silence Bey proposed an arrangement. "You know what?" Bey said. Assuming it was a rhetorical question, I only gave a slight look of curiosity. She continued, "You should write a diary of your highs and lows with Dudley, I really think it would give you a chance to regain your trust in others if you just wrote everything down and got it off your mind". Honestly it was a pretty good idea which I was considering within my currently disfunctional mind, as Bey handed me a notepad to use for the diary entry I took alongside my bag and coat I had gathered, ready to leave the session that had already gone overtime.
I stood up and walked towards the door, as my hand pushed down on the office handle I looked back in responce to Bey's call. She had put away her notepad so I sensed this would be a slightly more personal matter."You was committed to Dudley, right?," Bey asked in a more casual manner than before as I nodded in confirmation. "So what was it like, if you could sum up all the bad and the good all in one place" she quized. Something inside me just broke in that moment but i wouldnt dare let Bey know that she had got to me. After having an intense moment of flashbacks filled with me and Dudley, I responded emotionally,
"It's like you're screaming but no one can hear. You almost feel ashamed that someone could be that important, that without them, you feel like nothing. No one will ever understand how much it hurts. You feel hopeless, like nothing can save you. And when it's over and it's gone, you almost wish that you could have all that bad stuff back so you can have the good"
YOU ARE READING
We Found Love (based on the music video)
Fanfiction"I don't know how we got here, but all I know is we found love in a hopeless place" ~ Robyn and Dudley The complicated love story of Dudley O'Shaughnessy and Robyn Rihanna Fenty that was doomed for complications and heartbreak from the very moment t...
