The Tattoo // Kellin Quinn

13. Remeber When You Loved Me?

KELLIN P.O.V

My nervousness was apparent as Lottie and I made our way through the twisted corridors of the recording studio and my eyes darted in every single direction. Lottie gave me a questioning look, one eyebrow cocked and her grey eyes studying my green ones.

"The fuck are you doing Kellin? You're all jittery." She asked in a condescending tone.

"Aren't you nervous?" I bit down hard on my bottom lip. "I mean, the worst is over for you, I still have to divorce someone in three days."

She smiled a little and shook her head before speaking. "Look, the worst isn't over for either of us, this is just beginning but we'll get through it. One step at a time. I'll try my hardest to make it as easy as possible on you and you'll do the same for me. We'll be fine. I swear to you."

The glass doors slid open and took us to the parking lot. "You're amazing and kind and wonderful and sweet and beautiful and funny and..."

She cut me off. "Kellin, I know what you're after and no."

My mouth gaped open. Is this bitch psychic or something? "Consider it? Please? I don't want to go alone!"

"Kellin! I'm not going down to the courthouse with you to get divorce papers let alone coming with you to divorce the person you're married to. I'm not coming to divorce Katelynne with you, nuh uh, no way."

She got into the drivers seat and I got in the passenger seat while I pouted and crossed my arms tightly over my chest, much like a four year old. "Pwease?"

She looked at me, her hands at 10 and 2 on the steering wheel and both eyebrows raised high. "Really? No! No new partner comes with their partner to divorce the old one okay? It's just weird."

I kept my lips jutted out and pouting, not letting go in case it softened her up and she agreed to come with me. She slipped her sunglasses onto her nose and kept driving, turning up the rock station. "I'm not changing my mind Kellin. No means no."

Pouting wasn't going to work so I just gave up, leaned my forehead against the window and just watched as the industrial centre, nature and buzzing forms of life whizzed past and Lottie sped us along.

I know it sounds more than strange to even consider having Lottie with me while I break it to Katelynne that I'm leaving her but I do have my reasons. Lottie is my calm before the storm, the anchor on my feet to keep me from drifting too far into the clouds. Lottie would keep me on track and she would keep my head screwed on straight while I spoke. Lot has a way with words, she can be very convincing and almost intimidating with her sentence structure but that is very, very useful in tough situations, such as this one. Lottie would help me through this, hold my hand and tell me I was doing a good job. She would ultimately make this whole thing easier just because she was there with me. Sometimes I think about what I've done all these years without Lottie in my life and I realise that those decades without her were meaningless to me, just a string of memories that don't really hold any meaning to me because that one special person was missing. My puzzle wasn't complete without Lottie as the finishing piece. I led myself to believe that Kate was my final piece and I truly believed it once, I really did. I honestly loved Katelynne but nothing really lasts forever does it? Hearts change all the time.

I wanted it so bad for Kate's and my spark to reignite when it started to fail at the beginning of the year, only for Copeland's sake. The last thing on my mind was saving the marriage for us, it was for my precious little girl. The girl that spins my whole world around. My perfect little cherub that is so innocent and pure, too little to be tainted by evilness that hides in the different corners and crevices of this deep, dark and creepy world that I don't want her to be exposed to yet. I don't want this whole situation between Copeland's mother and I to poison her in any way. This was between me and her. I can't relive my parents mistakes. I have to do things the right way; for her sake.