Curtains Closed

Chapter Two

Once I got in, I went to the kitchen and put some water in a pan to make some rice, and got a curry from the fridge then put it in the oven to warm up. I got the cutlery out, then went to sit back down again. I must've fallen asleep after getting lost in my own thoughts, as when I woke up to the fire alarm going off "shit, shit, shit" I said to myself as I ran over to turn the stove and oven off, then over to open the windows, running towards the fire alarm, then jumping to switch it off. I ran back to the stove and saw my rice and curry burnt. "Fuck" I pulled out the curry with a cloth over my hand, but burnt it on the oven door "fuckin'ell you bloody fuckin' ugh" I muttered under my breath. I kicked the wall in annoyance, yet hurt my toe doing so "fuckin' idiot" I said to myself before walking over to the tap angrily, then putting my hand under cold water. I put the food in the bin and the pan in the sink to clean later, then went outside and smoked.

This had always annoyed her. Out of spite, I smoked several, and started to drink as well. I drank until I thought of other things, it put my mind to rest. Of course I knew I'd had enough, but I didn't want to stop, all I wanted was to be engulfed into a joyful, carefree place, instead of being wrapped in worries of what is done wrong and anger.

I had no idea how much of anything I'd had now, it all mixed together into a blurry mess. I got up, stumbling left and right, I went and got my phone then went outside onto the balcony again. I put my hand out onto the chair, but made it topple over, so I just sat on the floor finishing my drink. I unlocked my phone, it kept going in and out of focus. I moved where my hand was, trying to make it easier, I squinted, sat as still as possible, until I finally read Matts name on my phone. I pressed his it several times, hoping I'd called him instead of someone else, luckily my judgement was close enough to being right.

The phone rang, and rang, and rang. No answer. I called him another few times before he finally picked up. "Mate, what're you doing?" He asked down the line tiredly "do'ya know what fuckin' time it is?"
"What, what's the time then?" I said, confused
"Are you hammered?"
"Well..." I mumbled the rest, not knowing what I was actually saying
"Alex, it's nearly quarter past three in the fuckin' mornin'. What're you doing? It's not even Friday"
"She" my voice quivered, a lump in my throat "Matt she broke up with me" my barrier collapsed "she fuckin' cheated on me!" I shouted down the line
"Alex, I'm coming okay? It's alright"
"I'm sorry"
"Don't worreh mate, it 'appens to the best of us" I heard him yawn "I'll just get outta bed and drive up to you"
"Matt you don't-"
"Alex, I do" he reasoned "I know what you're like when this 'appens alright? Anyway, I'm already up. I'll be there in ten minutes, please just don't do nothin'"
"Okay, see you soon" I said, then hung up. I pulled out another cigarette and lit it. I inhaled deeply then exhaled again, I wobbled over to the fridge and found some vodka.

I remembered drinking it with her, taking shots and having fun. I leant on the kitchen counter and poured a cup full of it then gulped it down. My throat burnt, but it took my mind away to different places. I took another gulp and refilled it. My surroundings were fuzzy and morphing together, I laughed. I tried to stand up properly, but fell over and knocked the vodka bottle. There was a large smash, I thought it'd be best to clean it up.

I took the large pieces and but them in a dust pans and brushed the rest up. I put it all in the bin, then looked down at my hands. Blood was dripping down my finger tips. I turned my right hand over to see the burn on the back of it, then turned it back round to my palm to see my glistening blood. I started to freak out, what would I do? I ran over to the tap, nearly falling, and put my hands under; hoping this'd fix them.