Standing On Edge (boyxboy)

Chapter 9: The Feeling

Me: What do you mean "hope" Derrick? and why are we dancing?

He smiled and looked at me. We were so close and he rubbed my back down as he breathed bittersweet bliss on my neck. I shivered.

D: There's nothing wrong with dancing.

he chuckled.

The way his eyes stared at me made me want to faint. I couldn't explain it. His eyes made me forget everything.

Derrick: and soon you will know.

me: DONT YOU DARE LEAVE ME HANGING LIKE THAT

i eyed him.

Derrick: Im not

He winked

D: But you have to give me some time.

me: Time FOR WHAT??? im so confused right now.

I sat down and started rubbing my temples.

D: just... Trust me.

I got up and unlocked the door to let Jocelyn and CAllie back in. He looked kind of upset that i let them back in. Did.. Did he want to be with me alone? No of course not! It was just a Brotherly moment.. I sighed to myself and plopped onto my bed.

I felt both all three of them eyeing me, but i ignored them. I just Buried my head in the covers and for some reason i started to cry. past relationships flooded my head. I heard Jocelyn and Derrick whispering to eachother. i couldn't make out what they were saying.

I waited until they all left. I didn't even bother to take out my headphones and listen to my mom. I was so stressed.

I heard the door close and the hinges on my bed spring to life. I looked up and jocelyn was sitting on my bed. She smiled empathetically and grabbed my hand. Great now jocelyn too. Great JUST great.

J: don't worry cory

Me: about what?

I wiped the tears away from my eyes and sat up. I wasn't mentally stable. I tried to act happy. But the feeling of holding secrets from my stepsister was getting out of control.

Me: I'm gay.

Jocelyn's reaction wasn't even. Surprised. She wasn't dumbfounded by the fact i was gay. She just looked at me and said

J: yeah its kinda noticeable.

FUCK. ALL THIS TIME AND SHE ALREADY KNEW THIS.

Me: HOWWW???

J: well i know Brayan. And he's OBVIOUSLY gay, so, yeah.

Me: oh.

I trusted Jocelyn to not tell anyone. She was actually nice. But she acted like a bitch cuz' she doesn't want to be weak. Thats Jocelyn for you.

I plummeted to my pillow and heard her ask.

J: why were you crying?

I looked at her. She was looking at me. I didn't want to say. It was embarrassing. It was a scar i couldn't heal from. That one thing i was going to tell her was my darkest secret. Its what made me rely on my music and not on people. Atleast music cant shatter you. People do.

I hesitated but eventually i spoke up. Or at least tried to. My voice cracked and tears slid down my cheeks.

All the matter, jocelyn watched me slowly break down. She rubbed my back and gave me a hug.

Young God started playing on the speakers. How ironic.

Me: do you feel like a young god?

I looked at Callie coming through the door with a bowl of salad in her hand. she sat on the bed.

I sat up and took a deep breath.

Me: Before i came here I lived in Michigan. Back in Michigan i was dating this other guy. His name was Dylan. He loved me and i loved him. One day we were on a bridge over a creek and we were talking. he looked at me and said Cory? I think I love you. I looked at him and i felt so happy. I told him I loved him too. It was such an amazing feeling like i felt so complete.

Across the bed Callie went AW GOALS AS FUCK.

Me: then the scene shifted and a friend of Dylan who was spying on us came out and started screaming FAGGOT and HOMO. My heart dropped and i looked ant Dylan as he shouted across No! I swear this faggot was trying to KISS me! Look! Dylan then turned around and proceeded to hit me.

Jocelyn vision fell to her knees and callies mouth dropped. She said OH HELL NO.

Me: i was left on the ground, bleeding and crying. Dylan looked destroyed. He kept on licking me. Meanwhile, his friend cackled in the back. I was rushed to the hospital when some bikers saw me and called an ambulance. My mom told me i was moaning dylan, dylan, dylan. I woke up to the hospital the next day and dylan was next to me running his hands through my hair. I screamed GET OUT CORY GET OUT. He jumped back and told me he was SORRY. And he began to smother me with a pillow. The doctors rushed when they saw my vitals freaking out. The pulled dylan off of me and they threw him in jail. The doctors said that if i didn't have an air supply for 10 seconds more i would've slipped inside a coma.

Jocelyn and Callie were speechless.

Jocelyn took her pinky un mine and quietly told me.

J: i can keep your secret

Callie and j got up and walked out the door, turned off the lights.

I trusted them. With my life.

*thank you jocelyn and callie :,)