The Necromancer

Chapter 5, Part 3

Lord Berman did throw a hell of a feast. I gasped as we entered the dining hall, which took up an entire floor of the tower. Ten roaring hearths dotted the walls, and an elegant table spanned the room and was set with delicate ceramic plates. Servants waited in the shadows with pitchers of wine, ales of beer, and other concoctions that Lamneras had likely brewed.

"Potions Master Lamneras," my friend told the usher at the door, "And two guests." The silent servant then guided us to our seats midway up the table. We passed by numerous wealthy noblemen in the finest silks and beautiful noble ladies showing off elaborate sparkling jewels. The room was full of the gentle din of conversation as the guests sipped at their beverages and awaited the first course, which would likely be peaches.

Lord Berman was seated at the head of the table in a chair that was elaborately carved to look like a roaring lion with his head resting in the lion's mouth. But instead of the jovial man I'd met earlier in Lamneras's tower, he was sullen and grouchy, glaring at his plate. And it soon became apparent why.

"Hello." As I took my seat, I nodded politely to my neighbor, who wore a cape made of sleek furs from some striped animal that I'd never seen. "How are you this evening?"

"Oh, dreadful!" he said. "Absolutely dreadful. I've the worst case of hemorrhoids, and that potion from Lamneras hasn't made the swelling go down a jot! And this cushion isn't helping one bit!" He shifted his bottom around in his chair, which had a velvety pillow in the seat instead of hard wood like the rest of the chairs. 

My eyes went wide, and my mind desperately scrambled for something to say. It wasn't quite the answer I'd expected; one normally doesn't engage in small talk about uncomfortable and embarrassing medical conditions. He didn't seem the least bit mortified, but I was more than mortified for the both of us.

Next to me, Lamneras rolled his eyes and sighed. "Lord Melquas, I told you that it would take at least 72 hours to work, and that you should remain in bed for the duration." He didn't even seem surprised that we were making small talk about this topic. "Now, tell me, how was your journey from Solthos Isle?"

Lord Melquas deftly dodged Lamneras's attempted to change the topic to something more... socially acceptable. "Bedridden? Ha! A man of my stature cannot be seen confined to bed like a cripple!" The lord puffed out his chest and gave a confident smile. "And besides: I had quite the busy day. Why, this morning, I purchased a good quantity of an unusual spice in the market today that should sell quite nicely back home. Afterwards, I shared a fine meal with Berit, captain of the guard here. I'm trying to persuade him to leave Lord Berman and join my own household, you know. Then this afternoon..."

"Please don't say it," Lamneras whispered under his breath. It wouldn't have done any good to speak louder, because nothing could stop Lord Melquas now.

"Then this afternoon, I had sex with Lady Berman!" he continued proudly (and loudly). As if that wasn't enough, he nodded in her direction and wiggled his eyebrows.

"Oh gods..." Lamneras groaned. I did my best not to laugh, and Skip snorted in her cup of ale.

"SERVE THE FIRST COURSE!" Lord Berman roared, thumping a fist on the table. Servants began bustling out of the kitchen with plates of single-bite appetizers, then hurried back through the double doors lest Lord Berman decide to take his rage out on someone less important.

"So," Skip whispered to us as soon as the chatty lord was occupied by his recently-arrived food, "I take it that Lord Melquas was the one who drank that truth potion of yours?"

Lamneras took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "Yes, he most certainly did," he answered. "I just wish he was the only one who drank some of it."

I took a moment to listen to some of the other conversations that were currently going on within earshot.