Love Is Not a Choice

Prologue

Chocolate Is the Way To a Woman's Heart

(Author's Note: I am so sorry if this is rubbish! I should have been sleeping - though I still haven't slept yet, lol - but I had this in my head and thought since I couldn't get to sleep anyway, I'd write it. So yeah....again, sorry if this is rubbish! Oh, and I'm sorry if you don't actually like chocolate. Pretend it's your favourite food instead, then.)

You love chocolate. That was pretty simple to decipher, even for a stranger.

You simply can not say no to it, be it chocolate cake, a chocolate milkshake or just a simple old chocolate bar. You see chocolate and you are suddenly bombarded with urges to buy that chocolate and eat it. It's become more of a lovely bad habit than a guilty pleasure, but oh well.

It was your love of chocolate that led you very quickly to accepting Sebastian's offer to try a slice of the chocolate cake. 'Just to try it, is all. Wouldn't want to give the Young Master something he won't enjoy, now would we?' He had said with that closed-eye smile of his, and you had accepted, right away. The chance of getting free chocolate was a chance you weren't going to pass up. You'd get back to your duties in a moment.

So, you took the offered fork- only for your fingers to brush against Sebastian's. His skin was soft and warm, it was nice actually. Out of the corner of your eye, you could have thought you saw him shiver, but the closer you looked, the less evident a shiver was. It was as if he hadn't shivered at all. Maybe he hadn't shivered... Why would you are? So what if he did or didn't shiver? It's his body, he can do with it as he pleases!

You shook your head. You're seeing things, (Y/N). Just stop focusing on him and get a hold of yourself! He might take the fork away if you dilly-dally any longer! So, ignoring that closed-eyed smile that seemed to have gotten rather creepy for some reason, you took the fork out of his hand and put it in your mouth.

Closing your lips around the fork, you pulled the piece of cake off of the fork and began to chew. Almost instantly, the wonderful sensation of sweetness was melting on your tongue, and you couldn't help but close your eyes as you felt yourself go into pure bliss. God! This was amazing! My goodness, I knew Sebastian could cook but...wow. (Though you could have sworn there was something lumpy in it and...slimy? No, that can't be right. It's probably just your imagination.)

Without realizing it - before it was too late, anyway - you had moaned, soft but nonetheless audible by the ears of the man in front of you. He smiled - though it looked more like a smirk, the deeper you looked - and said, "Is it really that good, my lady?"

You jumped at the sudden deep voice speaking, jolting yourself out of your thoughts. Your eyes snapped open, and came into contact with beautiful crimson-red ones. You couldn't help but shiver as he maintained the eye contact, and embarrassed, you looked away (and therefore not noticing the slight frown on the Head Butler's face before it disappeared back into that famous closed-eye smile of his.)

Passing him the fork, you managed to stutter out, "Y-yes. It i-is delightful." You smiled but refused to look up into his eyes. You didn't know what but there was something in there, in those eyes. They....well, for the lack of a better word, they terrified you, and that confused you because why? Why would it terrify you? It was just Sebastian.

It's not like you're looking into a murderer's eyes, or something. They were just Sebastian's admittedly rather beautiful eyes, nothing you hadn't seen before. But still, while not knowing why you had shivered, nor why you were suddenly filled with a dreaded feeling in the pit of your stomach, you did know you had to get away from him. NOW! So you did just that.

"I apologize but I really must get back to my duties, sir." You said, in a damned quiet voice, politely, and nodding a goodbye, you turned and walked out of the kitchen. You went back to your duties (which consisted of searching for the right books for the lesson you were going to teach that day, grading the work you had already given Ciel, and finding more work he could do. Occasionally, when nobody was looking, you'd also help out Mey-Rin; you felt guilty since she constantly got a scolding from Sebastian. You didn't want her getting in trouble anymore.)

It was because of this, because you had already walked out and gone about your life, you didn't notice your life coming to an end far too soon. Damn, you really should have stayed there, maybe then you would have noticed the darkening of those crimson-red eyes.

•

Love.

Something his kind would never - could never - feel. He was of the darkest creatures, the creatures that preyed on the souls of others in need of help, who created contracts with those in help - or those just greedy and/or lazy.

You see, he - given the name Sebastian Michaelis by his current Master - was a Demon who had a contract with a young boy in desperate need to avenge his parents. This boy had been through a lot. 'Through hell and back' as the humans say (though not literally, his soul will be eaten before he has a chance to go to hell.)

Sebastian was to help this young boy avenge his parents, and then he'd get to eat this 'poor' boy's soul. After that, he'd leave and go on his hellish way, forgetting the life as the butler of Earl Phantomhive. He'd forget the life and the people in it, it would be as if none of us had even happened...or at least it was meant to be this way.

It wasn't until Ciel's aunt - Baroness Angelina Dallas-Burnett, or Madam Red as she is more commonly known - decided her little nephew needed lessons to make up for the years he has missed, and so hired a Governess. With the recommendation of a fellow acquaintance, Madam Red hired the best Governess she heard of.

Not long after, a beautiful, young, (H/C)-haired and (E/C)-eyed girl called (Y/N) (L/S/N) appeared on the Phantomhive doorstep. In her hand was a small suitcase with her belongings, and a letter from Madame Red which stated that (Y/N) was there to help Ciel learn the things he never got the chance to in the past three year.

Ciel hadn't been happy about it, obviously. He would have chucked her out as well; he didn't care if it sent her homeless. It was only his butler's suggestion 'Maybe a few lessons will help, Young Master. With an education behind you, people may listen to you more.' He had gotten a scolding face and a harsh 'Why would you care?', but Ciel had gave it some thought nonetheless. Realizing this young Governess may be of use to him after all, Ciel had given in and allowed her to stay.

(Y/N) had helped Ciel learn things he never got the chance to during his years of captivity. She gave him books to read in his free time (if he wasn't to tired, of course), and was gentle when he reluctantly muttered a question. She never made fun of him for the obvious things that any boy his age should have known. She was gentle and always ready to help.

Maybe that was the second thing that drew his attention; the almost innocence of the young female adult. The first thing that caught his attention...Sebastian didn't know. He didn't know why he changed his Master's mind. He didn't care if the brat got an education or not, so why would he make sure the Governess stayed?

He truly hadn't cared, about the Governess nor the Earl...until he saw those beautiful (E/C) eyes and luscious (H/C), (H/S) hair. He had felt something, something he didn't know what to make of, something that had captured his attention.

This unknown emotion - and the way she was so gentle, almost innocent in a way, to the young Earl - was what urged him to find out more about her. So he did.

When everybody had fallen asleep, Sebastian sneaked out of the Phantomhive Manor and into the Dallas Manor. Making sure nobody saw him, he'd read through the files on (Y/N) (Y/L/N).

He had gotten every bit of information on that young girl (family, friends, home life, education, status, financial status, everything), and the more he read, the more he felt that unknown feeling.

After getting all of the information, he'd rushed back out of one manor and into another without waking anyone up. That feeling was always represent after that though, never leaving. In fact, each time he saw (Y/N), the emotion seemed to only intensify.

Sebastian Michaelis wanted answers, and it was only because the girl who'd captured his attention had been reading a love story to the Master, that he'd got those answers. He found out what it was he was feeling. The Young Master - just as innocent as his age when he was sleepy - had asked what it was like to be in love, and she'd described it the only way she really could; 'Love is a strange thing. You don't realize you have it until it's too late, and when you do....well, you realize you don't want it to go away. You want it to stay, to always be there inside of you, to warm you with those thoughts of the one you love.'

It was exactly how Sebastian felt, and while at first shocked and confused (as far as he knew Demons couldn't love), he got over it and went on loving (Y/N), knowing he didn't want this to end (though he'd never admit it outside of his head.) He also knew he wanted her to feel like this, towards him.

Sebastian wanted (Y/N) to love him like she had somehow managed to make a Demon do.

So, he gave her subtle hints, making sure when he finally got over his pride and told her, she'd be in love with him too. He made her things he knew she'd loved, brought her things (well, stole them; Demons had no use for human money, after all) he knew she'd love. He made sure she was slowly falling in love with him (or at least the 'secret admirer'), and he was so sure he'd managed to do it.

.... And then He came into her life. That young Lord Wakefield. He was young, about her age, and so willing to marry the girl he had just met while on a week-long visit to the Phantomhive Manor, business-related. He was - unfortunately - rather handsome, with short, blonde curls and chocolate-brown eyes. He was nice and gentle with her, as she was with Ciel.

Whenever Lord Wakefield wasn't busy with making business arrangements with Earl Phantomhive, he spent time with (Y/N). It was plain as day that she was falling in love with this Lord, and therefore not Sebastian.

When he had noticed it, Sebastian had spent most of the day fuming silently within his own mind. How dare he?! How dare that wretched young man come and steal what is rightfully his?!

Sebastian saw her first, and therefore she was his! Nobody else's! Only his...even if she didn't know it herself. She was his and nobody could touch her precious body, nobody could kiss those precious lips. Nobody but him!

He had to get rid of him. That Lord was only going to mess up his plan of claiming (Y/N), and he'd worked too long, too hard to just lose to some lousy human.

Yes, he needed to get rid of Lord Wakefield...and he knew just what to do.

•

Throwing in the lumpy ingredients he decided to add to the recipe just moments ago, Sebastian stirred the cake mixture, watching as the lumpy bits disappeared. All too quickly, the ingredients all became one very quickly. He couldn't help but smirk. He and (Y/N) were the same; very soon, they'd become one.

Once the mixture had been mixed, he got the cut-up chocolate pieces and threw them in, mixing them in as well. Once done, he poured it into a cake bowl, and carefully opened the oven door, slipping it inside. Closing it, he dusted his hands off imaginary flour and turned,

He cleaned up the equipment he'd used, cleaned the surfaces he'd worked on, and not before long, he was finally finished. Well, with the cake and the equipment he'd used. There was just one more thing he'd need to clean up.

The Demon Butler turned, walking over to the cupboard. Making sure nobody was around to see, he opened it and quickly shot his hands out, catching the body as it fell. Blood quickly stuck onto his hands, not that he expected any different.

It was kind of hard to keep your blood when you're dead...and have skinless.

Examining the body, he realized he had done quite a number on the Lord. When he'd captured him, he hadn't intended to skin him, just brutally maim him, but the young Lord hadn't kept his mouth shut, saying (Y/N) would only love him. 'She would never fall for a monster like you!' Guess he'd let his anger out too much. Oh well.

Carefully, Sebastian lifted the skinless body up and, doing a double check around the kitchen for any hidden people, he stepped back. He walked over to the backdoor, made sure Finny wasn't there and raced outside before anybody realized.

By the time he'd stopped, Sebastian's butler uniform was covered in blood (though if that meant the obstacle between him and the his beloved price, then he couldn't bring himself to care...that much), and he was in the middle of a forest. The forest wasn't a very well visited one, too hidden to be noticed.

Not that be minded of course. It was better in fact, less people to find the body.

Dropping the body onto the ground, he began to quickly dig a hole, and once it was done, he dropped the body inside. He redid the whole, making sure every inch of the Lord's body was covered six feet under ground.

Sebastian nodded in satisfaction as he patted down the dirt. There. Nothing would give away there was a body buried underneath the dirt. Not a simple lump or bump to be found. He was quite proud of it, the only thing that'd make him prouder would be if he got you.

He shivered at the thought of (Y/N). Oh the things he'd do to you once he had you. You'd be crying and begging for pleasurable release. Sebastian smirked. Oh he couldn't wait.

Giving the self-made burial one last pat, Sebastian turned and raced back to the Phantomhive Manor. As he stepped inside quietly, he made sure nobody was there as he raced to his room (though why the Young Master gave it to him, he didn't know. It's not like he sleeps.) There he quickly changed into a neater, cleaner uniform, and bundled up the dirty clothing.

He'd wash them tonight, when he's sure nobody will come barging in. Until then, however, Sebastian had a certain young lady to give her favourite flavoured-cake to. Oh, and let's not forget that he'll finally get to hold her in his arms when he is 'forced' to tell her - and the Little Earl - that the Lord of the Wakefield family has tragically died in a carriage accident, while on his way back from London. He would comfort his little Beloved Kitten as she cried over the death of the Lord she...loved...(he clenched his teeth at the thought; he needed to change that, and quickly). She'd be so heartbroken, so eager for comfort and reassurance, she'll turn to the only person who's always been there for her even through the dark times - Sebastian Michaelis.

And then, as she sticks by for the comfort he will provide, (Y/N) will realize that there's only one person for her, that could love her far more than that Lord. She'll fall in love and come running.

Sebastian smirked as he absentmindedly checked the cake. Oh he couldn't wait.