Love Is Not a Choice

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty:Requesting a Leave to Madame Red's House

You ended up staying outside for most of the meeting, and you couldn't have been more thankful. You couldn't quite place it but for some reason, you felt...odd around the Undertaker, and not like you felt around Mr. Michaelis (though of course you'd never admit that to anyone, you felt a bit bad for admitting it to yourself). Being around him was like...well, it was like you were staring in the face of some familiar figure from the past, but you were sure you had never met him. You were sure...

Well, no matter, you didn't go back inside, and you were thankful. Instead you sat on the edge of one of the fallen coffins, mindless of getting your skirt dirty. It was just a bit of dirt that no brushing could not get off, after all. As you sat, you admired the quietness of the area. The Undertaker's shop was placed in the more...rougher area of London, but despite that, you felt no fear. There was not a single living soul here; just a gentle wind and the slightest ray of sunlight peeking over the roof in front of you. It was peaceful...and then the door to the Undertaker's opened and out walked all but Mr. Michaelis.

You shot a confused look over as you opened your mouth to ask, but Master Ciel just shook his head, and not a second later the answer came. The house seemed to shake as the laughter within it came in loud bursts. You gulped because though you were reassured the laughter was just that of the Undertaker's, you could've mistaken it for a crazy serial killer's. Not long after Mr. Michaelis was opening the door, inviting the rest of you back in. You continued to stay outside, smiling at Mr. Michaelis and explaining you 'still needed some air'. He seemed to hesitate but eventually nodded and gifted you with that slight smile, before walking in and closing the door.

You went back to relaxing, waiting for them to finish. You didn't need to wait for long apparently, because not a few minutes later, the door was opening once more and they were all walking out, discussing whatever had happened inside. You followed after Master Ciel, and only opened your mouth to question why exactly they were talking about the removal of organs. Master Ciel just sighed and explained briefly what was happening; apparently there was a murderer, known commonly as Jack the Ripper, who was murdering prostitutes. As of right now, there was only four but more were to be expected, unfortunately. You felt so sorry for those poor girls. Prostitutes or not, they were still human! They did not deserve to die simply because they had no other means of getting money than to, unfortunately, sell their bodies!

Why would you kill poor women because of their occupations anyway? That was just inhumane, you thought as you walked alongside Madame Red, and it was only the soft nudge against your ribs that snapped you back into reality. You realised most of them were already in the carriage, and so you waited for Madame Red to climb in before taking the hand of Mr. Sutcliff and stepping inside. Thanking him, you turned to Master Ciel and Madame Red, who were both engaged in a deep conversation about the case Master Ciel was working on.

"As if that narrows the field? Why, even I would have the medical skills necessary for this." Madame Red was saying, waving her hand almost dismissively, "Besides which, the season is ending soon. Any doctors who follow the nobles to the city will be returning to the country and then-." Suddenly Mr. Michaelis appeared, and you hated to admit that you nearly jumped out of your skin. A hand flew to your beating heart and you tried to calm it by taking deep breathes. How did he appear there so quickly? You thought he was driving the carriage! But if not him, then who is? You looked around and instantly took notice of the lack of a nervous butler. How did he get out so quickly and without any difficulties? Was my attention truly lacking that much I did not notice the butlers' switch?

You sighed as he sent over what could have been an apologetic look (if not for the slightest, almost nonexistent smirk carving his lips), and rubbed at your eyes, listening as Mr. Michaelis finished the red Baroness' sentence, ""Then we'll have to conclude the investigation quickly." Lau, who had been sitting beside you, suddenly decided to speak up with one simple word, "Impossible." and you had to agree with him. You may not have been paying close attention to the whole situation, but even you knew that there was no way to close a case that quickly. There was evidence to collect, suspects to investigate. Cases just did not end quickly.

"I should be able to do this much at least," Mr. Michaelis answered, standing up to walk carefully over to the door, which he opened. Did he have a death wish, or was he just stupid? Did he not know the carriage was moving? If he jumped, he'd be crushed beneath the horses' hooves within seconds, and honestly that was not something you wished to experience. Not only because it would be such a horrific ordeal (and that was the truth; you did not wish to see the death of a person dear to you, and weren't you loathe to admit such a thing, even to yourself), but also because there were other people in it, one being just a young boy, you did not want them to see it. "Otherwise what kind of butler would I be?" With a simple promise to make a list of 'viable suspects', Mr. Michaelis was suddenly leaping out of the carriage, the door swinging out and then coming back in to close tight. Your heart thudded to a halt, and for a moment you couldn't breathe. You were overcome with the urge to jump after him, to try and prevent his death; it was only Lau's hand placed softly on your knee that stopped you from even standing.

Madame Red seemed to have the same panic you held, because she was soon exclaiming, "He knows we're moving, right?" Master Ciel did nothing but nod, sighing in exasperation. He waved his hand dismissively as he reassured the two of you, "Sebastian will take care of it for now. We can head home and have a cup of tea while we wait." If you had not been worried for Sebastian, you would have almost laughed at how easy-going the young Earl spoke, and how even in times like these, he wanted tea. A true Earl, a voice in the back of your head spoke jokingly.

You were now on your way back home- and since when had the Phantomhive Manor become your home? Home was where your heart was, and your heart was with your father (though not fully, right? a traitorous thought wormed its way into your mind, making you mentally growl and swatted at it until it left), your father who you left to pursue a career made to help the both of you. Of course you felt guilty, you missed your father and wanted to see him, but this only made it even worse, because thoughts of doubt filled your mind; maybe your father thought you didn't love him, maybe he thought you had abandoned him. You hadn't! You had been trying to get money and medicine for him, you wouldn't have left if you didn't have to...

You sighed quietly and shook your head, getting rid of such thoughts. You hadn't the choice; it was either this or risk losing your father altogether; and besides, it wasn't like the Earl you live with was troublesome...that much. Of course, you've been in a few situations you hadn't expected to be in, but that just gave you more of a purpose in life, in a way; to protect your father and the young Earl Phantomhive. You would protect them... and speaking of your father, maybe you could go and visit him some time. It has been a while, and you were missing him so terribly.

Decided, you turned to face Madame Red, and although uncertain on how either her and Master Ciel would react, you opened your mouth and asked, "My lady, may I ask a question?" She startled, jumping just a little. She obviously hadn't expected you, or anyone, to talk; the carriage ride had been silent until then, after all. She turned to you with a motherly smile and nodded, waiting for you to answer. "W-well," You paused, coughing before continuing, "I would like to request a leave to your house, my lady." Both Earl and Baroness wore similar looks of shocked, and then Master Ciel's turned quickly into one of anger. He opened his mouth, about to shout something probably along the lines of 'what makes you think you can just leave?" but you quickly interrupted him, "Just for a day! I would like to see my father, is all-." That seemed to be the token to getting Madame Red's permission, because quickly she was interrupting you with a quick nod and a beaming smile. "Of course! Your father has been requesting to see you as of late, as well, so it'd be nice for the two of you to get together, would it not? Also, it would be nice to speak to a happy woman for once." She laughed and you couldn't help but chuckle as well, guessing quite easily who she was on about, (Shelia, the scary maid who didn't seem to know the emotion 'happy').

Madame Red turned to face Master Ciel, smiling happily as she spoke, "This won't be a bother to you, will it?" Master Ciel looked between the both of you, as if surprised about something, before shaking his head, sighing. "Of course not. I've already got three bumbling servants; it'll be nice to get rid of the forth for a while." He spoke, as always with the snippy tone of his, but you knew it was not true. He may not really care about you going, but you knew he was lying about you being bumbling.

The other three - bless their clumsy souls - were troublesome, yes, but you were not...that badly. Well, there was that one time; you had been carrying seven books all at once, hadn't noticed where you were going, tripped over your dress and stumbled right into a table with a vase on it. Luckily it landed on you, thus preventing any breaks. Unluckily, so did the books, so you ended up with a hurt nose (thankfully not broken, however) and a wet body from the water in the vase.

You were pretty sure that wasn't the first time you had tripped and tumbled as well... You unconsciously bit your lip, worrying it a little too much. Alright, so maybe you were quite troublesome as the other three, you just couldn't quite remember. Well, it doesn't matter now; you were going to go to Madame Red's house and stay out of Master Ciel's hair, for a day. You were just thankful you were getting to see your father.

Snapping back to reality, you beamed up at the two nobles and thanked them both, turning to look outside at the passing trees with a new found joy.