Love Is Not a Choice

Chapter Four

A Morning of Catching Rats with Meyrin

"Bloody hell, this wire's done for." Bard complained.

"Oh, not the rats again." Meyrin whined.

"This is gettin' ridiculous! I mean, I heard they'd been plaguin' London lately, but I never expected them to be such a problem this far out of the city." Bard complained, again.

Before anyone could continue the conversation, there was the tiny little squeak-squeak of rats, and suddenly everyone was screaming and rushing. Finny, with his large rat net catcher, launched himself at the scuttling rats, yelling out, "Now I've got you, rat!"

Yeah, he didn't have the rats. In fact, he wasn't even close to having the rats, the little rodents scurrying away too fast for them to catch them. You sighed as you sat atop a chair, legs drawn to your chest, the navy-blue skirt of your dress falling over the sides of the chair. The second you had come in, you had drawn your feet up, which was a good thing since Meyrin had managed to scare some rats into coming your way, running underneath your chair and away. Meyrin had just barely managed to stop from colliding into you.

The servants of the Phantomhive estate raced around the kitchen, going around and around and around in circles. This whole entire thing was a fruitless act to catch rodents that don't want to be caught. They are fast little pests, you cursed inwardly, watching as the other servants continued the chase.

Yes, this is all a fruitless activity, that I do not want a part of, you thought, moodily. Of course you were being a bit grumpy but this morning hadn't been the best of mornings, and it's only been your second day here.

You see, at six in the morning, the door was slammed open and in walked a loud-stomping Sebastian Michaelis, who looked at you with an expression that clearly spoke he was going to have no nonsense today. Startled, you had shot up, forgot where you wee for a second, remembered, wondered why he was giving you that quite terrifying look, and then looked down, remembering last night.

Oh, right. You had fallen asleep, and slept throughout the whole night apparently. Grimacing a little, you had looked over at Mr. Michaelis, about to explain but the look on his face, it had stopped you, but you didn't know why. The look was quite blank in comparison to the one you had woken up to, but there was just something behind his eyes, a...certain threatening look that promised a fate worse than death. But then you blinked, and it was gone.

You had blinked once, twice, thrice, probably looking like a stupid doe with your comically-wide eyes but you hadn't cared. You had slept a lot longer than you had meant to, was probably going to get fired because you had fell asleep and you hadn't even had a single lesson with him yet, you were still tired, and now apparently you were seeing things because the butler's face had been smiling instead, the supposed threatening look you thought was on his face gone.

Am I going mad? You had wondered, but before you could continue that train of thought, Mr. Michaelis had asked you to get ready quickly because 'the Young Master has requested for your presence in the dining room'. You had nodded, and Mr. Michaelis had turned, walking into the bathroom to sort out your bath.

Getting up, you followed him, confused. You were not his master, you were just another worker. Why was he fixing a bath for you when you could clearly do it yourself? You had asked, only to be replied with his usual smile of closed eyes and tight lips. He'd ignored your protests that you could do it yourself, and continued sorting out the bath. Once it was ready, he asked if you needed assistance getting changed, and you had shook your head.

"Thank you but no, it's alright." You had quickly said, and then moved out of the way of the door, allowing him to walk past you. And if you thought there was just the slightest hint of disappointment on his face, you chose to ignore it because you were tired and you've already imaged enough today.

Once Mr. Michaelis was out and the door shut fully, you went into the bathroom and had a quick wash, scrubbing your body and cleaning your hair. After you were feeling clean, you carefully got out of the bath, dried your feet, walked into your room, over to the wardrobe and opened it to reveal the many pretty dresses. You got dressed in a navy-blue skirt with a white, black-button blouse, complemented by your usual black ankle boots.

Quickly brushing your hair into a neat bun, you were finally left your room, running down the stairs only to stop in front of the dining room. Straightening out any wrinkles that may have appeared, you took a deep breathe, hoped Master Ciel wasn't in a foul mood and then opened the door. Instantly Master Ciel's eyes were narrowed at you, and it took everything in you not to stop moving. Closing the door behind you, you walked over to him, bowed and waited for his permission to sit.

I hate having to wait for someone's permission to do things. Surely I am allowed to sit without it. You would never say this out loud though, knowing the society you lived in would never allow women to overcome men. It made you want to cross your arms and scream and shout until somebody realizes just how wrong this society truly was. Then you realized just how that sounded, how it made you sound like a child who'd scream until they got their way. But if that's the only way to get this world to realize women aren't weak, then so be it.

You were suddenly knocked out of your thoughts by Master Ciel coughing, and paying more attention to him, you noticed him gesture to the chair. You nodded, bowing once more before sitting down and tucking into the food laid before you. You ate quite a lot and as politely as possible, trying to ignore the blank look Ciel gave you, the one you knew was silently judging you.

Save for Ciel reminding you that the lessons will start tomorrow morning, it had been quiet, with Ciel reading a letter and you eating quietly, thinking about nothing in particular. It wasn't until Mr. Michaelis had come in to announce the arrival of guests, that it ended. You were quite thankful, for the atmosphere was getting rather overwhelmingly tense.

You waited for Master Ciel to stand up before following, tucking the chair underneath the table, bowing and then walking out. After that, you had wandered aimlessly, mind half-away with thoughts of worry because was the Young Master mad with you? Did he just not like to talk? But why was he judging you?; and the other half of your mind trying to figure out just where you were exactly. You had still yet to fully familiarize yourself with the manor and it's many hallways, not enough to know where you were going.

Though, thankfully, your feet seemed to know where you were going because soon, you were standing in front of the kitchen door. The sounds of shouting and shrieking could be heard behind it, and you dreaded going in. Still you had nothing else to do, so in you went- only to shriek and quickly shut the door again when you saw a rat come racing past you, Meyrin following not long after.

Heart beating wildly, you took a few deep breaths to come yourself. Rats! RATS! Why the bloody hell is there rats in the kitchen? No answer came, as expected, and calmed down a bit, you walked back over to the door, opened the door a little and peaked inside. Inside was the rather comical sight of three servants racing about, the rats almost mockingly ahead of them, just within reach and yet somehow so far away.

Slowly, careful of the rats, you had walked inside, skirt lifted high enough to not get caught any of possible passing rats but not to show off anything. Finally you were at the table, and so quickly sat on one of the chairs, drawing your legs up and close to your chest. Arms wrapped around your drawn legs, you dug your head within the gap between chest and knees and closed your eyes.

And now you're here, still sitting, still wondering if you had managed to annoy the Young Master (well, even more, you were still quite sure he didn't really want you here), still watching as the three servants attempted to catch the rats. It's been an two hours and forty-five minutes since you arrived at the kitchen, and they've caught two rats, only for Finny - who was holding them - to trip and let them go scurrying back to their mates.

Sighing, you rubbed a hand over your face, eyes closing for a second so you wouldn't poke yourself in the eye. "What are you laughin' for?" Bard snapped, causing you to open your eyes again. You glanced over the cook, the gardener, the maid and- oh, the house steward, Tanaka. I didn't realize he was in here.

"Ho, ho, ho." Tanaka said. You sighed again, letting your head fall. Ah, yes, still doing that Santa Claus impression, I see. You thought. Still somehow you felt calmer with him. Maybe it was because the other three are far more loud and boisterous, both things I do not want right now.

Suddenly Meyrin sat down beside you, slumping rather unladylike. Well I'm not one to talk, sitting the way I am. "You alright?" You asked, despite the obvious frustration on her face. She huffed, leaning forward and folded her arms to place on the table. She rested her chin on them and huffed again.

"That bad, huh." You couldn't help but chuckle, unwrapping your arms and leaning forward. You quickly crossed your legs as best you could on the wooden chair. The rats were still on the floor after all, the last thing you wanted was for them to touch you. Placing a hand on her back, you gently rubbed it soothingly. Maybe I should have helped, instead of wallowing in self pity over something so stupid, that probably isn't even true. But then again, what could I have done that these couldn't? They're rats, for christ's sake! Bloody fast things, they are.

Bard and Finny continued to chase after the tiny rodents for a bit longer, before doing the same as Meyrin and slumping down onto a chair. "Will we ever catch them?" Finny asked, drawing his arms into the same position you had been in just moments before.

"Well, if we sit here, no, we won't." You said, trying to be reassuring. They all just sighed, and Tanaka 'ho,ho,ho'd again, this time his tone reassuring. You all sat in quiet for a while, before you decided sitting around would do nothing and got up. Mindful of the rats, you moved away from the table and over to the door, tip-toeing your way over to it, you dark-coloured skirt bunched in your hands.

Of course you hadn't thought of your actions. Of course you had opened the door, ready to go search for another net for yourself, your intentions innocent. Of course the rats found the open door an opportunity to run out, and of course Meyrin, Bard and Finny all shrieked for you to stop after you had already opened the door.

You jumped at their shrieks, shutting the door despite all the rats being outside already. Slowly you turned around, a sheepish look on your face as you apologized. They all sighed, though Tanaka did his usual cheerful Santa impression. Meyrin stood up, the other two following, and shook her head. "It's fine," She reassured, "Could you come help us though?"

Nodding, you turned and opened the door again. It's the least you could do, after all. "Of course. First let me get another net." You said, but before you took one step out, Finny was giving you the net he had been using earlier. He smiled when you looked at him, confused, and said "We only need one. Meyrin, Bard and I can catch the rats and you can hold the net."

"Oh, alright." You replied, and turned, walking out of the room. Though you were going to help, you couldn't help but feel even more guilty. I didn't even need to get another one! You exclaimed inwardly, before quietly sighing, So much for helping. More like making the work ten times harder.

Once all of you were out in the corridor (well, apart from Tanaka, who was staying behind to drink his tea), you all partnered up. You were partnered with Meyrin while the two males went together. Soon you were all racing down corridors, running after rats that didn't want to slow down.

There were crashes and shrieks and loud exclamations of frustration and almost-but-not-quite screaming and, well, just plain Hell.

A bet most governesses don't get to have this much fun, you thought, only half-sarcastic because it was fun, or more fun than just sitting around, which you would have been doing had the rats not been here.

"Watch out!" Meyrin suddenly called, and you turned, only to shriek and start jumping about like a lunatic when you saw about five (maybe six) rats come charging your way. You barely managed to get out of the way before they were past you, Meyrin not far behind. You chuckled and ran after them both, the net up in the air, ready to finally catch these fast little monsters.

*

It took a while but eventually Meyrin and you managed to catch the rats you were chasing. Finally. You slumped against the wall, falling until your butt hit the ground. You didn't care if you were being unladylike. You just had to chase after rats, for God's sake! The most unladylike activity a girl can participate in.

You were tired. All morning you and Meyrin had chased after rats, and in about two in the afternoon, you finally managed to catch all of the tiny little fast rodents that scuttled and made you shriek every time they ran past you. Of course Meyrin and you got talking though, having hours upon hours with just each other (and the rats, but they don't count), and soon you were closer than before.

Sebastian was the main topic for an hour, and it became quite clear that Meyrin had a rather large crush on the tall, handsome butler. It also came clear to you that this made you feel just an ounce of jealousy, which you didn't like. Why were you jealous? It was just a crush for both you and Meyrin, nothing that would lead to anything. Uncomfortable with this feeling, you coyly switched the subject topic and soon there were multiple conversations about nothing and anything.

There were little breaks between conversations, in which you both were sure you were close to capturing the rats and so silence was needed, but once it was obvious you nor Meyrin were getting any closer to catching the rats, you two began talking again. But finally, thankfully, all of the rats (you two were running after, anyway) are caught, and now all you two are doing is panting and leaning against the wall.

"Should we go look for the boys?" Meyrin suddenly asked, after a while, and you, now breathing normally, nodded. You made sure you had a secure grip on the net, so no rats could escape, and followed after Meyrin. You were still tired and just eager for bed, but you still had the whole of the afternoon to deal with yet. So no bedtime yet.

Unfortunately.