I'm in Love With The King

Part Nine

"Edmund," I whisper, holding his head in my lap.

"I'll be fine," he forces out.

His skin is deathly pale against his black hair and dark brown eyes, making his face look even paler, now positively ghostlike. "Peter, go get Lucy!" I command.

"No, it's too late Josie, there's no time," Edmund coughs.

Tears well up in my eyes as Edmunds weak fingers wrap around mine and reach for Peter's. "No, stay with us Edmund!" Peter demands, his voice breaking.

"Keep him in line Josie," he tells me.

"I will, I promise," I say through my tears.

"Give my best to Susan and Caspian if they ever marry, and remember your title, Peter. Give my love to Lucy, tell her to stay brave," he whispers roughly.

I watch his face in my lap as his heavy eyelids slowly close. My tears drip from my cheeks and onto his cheeks. Peter's arms fold around me as the last breath escapes his lungs, filling the stale room, the sound of his exhalation echoes from the walls. His body falls limp within my arms as I hold his body to mine. His head slowly falls to the side, mouth slightly open. I fall into Peter, still holding Edmund, his warm blood spilling onto my dress. I stroke his dark hair and my head falls onto Peter's chest as he holds me tightly.

"No!" I scream into the Great Hall, Lucy and Susan rush into the room.

Their eyes fall upon the dead Calormen king on the floor and then upon Peter, Edmund and I.

"What happened?" Susan gasps, Lucy stands next to her sister and clutches her arm.

I open my arms, letting Edmunds limp body roll away from mine, showing my blood stained dress too. I clutch Edmund to me again as Susan's mouth falls ajar and Lucy rushes to her brother's body and she falls upon him. My eyes flow endlessly with tears and Peter slides out from under me and removes Edmund from my arms. His lips kiss the top of my head. His arms lift me and carry me out, my head falls into the crook of his neck and I circle my arms around his neck and cry. If this is how I react to Edmund's death I cannot imagine my pain and tears if Peter dies.

Peter carries me to our room and sets me on the bed and disappears into the bathing room. He returns and swoops me into his arms, bringing into the steaming room. The marble bath tub sits beneath a plume of steam and Peter sets me on my feet next to the edge. I undress and slowly lower myself into the comforting water. Bubbles surround my bare body above the water and I sink below the surface. I pull out of the water when my breath runs out and I gulp in air through my sobs and tears of loss for Edmund.

I stand and dry myself and re-dress. I walk into the room, Peter is sitting on the edge of our bed and I sit beside him. Unconsciously I wrap my arms around him and lay his head on my shoulder and we cry into each other. His silent tears fall upon my shoulder and my heavy sobs land on his. Our arms cradle each other and our heads lay on each others shoulders.

"This is all my fault! If only I had just fought harder for peace! They wouldn't accept peace as any part of any deal! I should have fought harder! I should have listened to you!" Peter cries into my shoulder.

"None of this was your fault Peter!" I shed into his shirt.

"No! This is just like the Attack on Miraz's Castle! He died just like those soldiers; needlessly," Peter tells me.

I hold him in front of me and look into his eyes. "Peter, this was not your fault! Just like the other time! It was not your fault! Sebastian killed Edmund, not you! Miraz killed those soldiers, not you. Please, listen to me, please believe me!" I assure him, smoothing his soft hair.

He leans his body into mine and I hug him into me. Our tears fall upon each other and wet our clothes. Together. We slowly cease our tears, only because they cannot flow any longer and gradually fall asleep.