The Inconsistent Ramblings of a Constant Story Teller(A short story collection)

Can I Tell You A Story?

Can I tell you a story? I'm going to tell you a story, I don't care if you don't want me to or not, I am going to tell it to you anyway. To be honest, I am not exactly sure what this story is supposed to be. I mean I know the story, but I don't know if this is a sad story or a happy story or what. I don't know. It is just a story. Actually, it is kind of sad, but it is also happy, Whatever. This already sounds stupid, I know, but once I get this going you might like it a little bit better. Or maybe not, I don't know you and I am not going to assume that I do.

So this might sound like a weird way to tell a story, but I am going to tell this story, like, how before it happened. That sound weird, I know. So I am going to tell this in the present tense talking as if the story didn't happen yet, but it has. Oh god this might be confusing. Whatever! I'm going with it!

Hello! Yes hello with an exclamation mark, that is just who I am, okay? Hello! My name is Daniel. Daniel Christensen. My middle name doesn't really matter at all, so I'm not going to say it. Ahh, whatever I have already mentioned it. My middle name is Jason, see not important. Anyway, I am 15 years old, five foot ten inches tall. I have brown hair and brown eyes, and there really isn't interesting about my face.

Maybe that last fact is why I don't have a girlfriend, or maybe that's because I am afraid of people. Not afraid like crippling fear, but I am definitely socially awkward. Anyway, whatever the reason, I don't have a girlfriend and I only have a handful of good friends. I do have a crush on a girl though, but we will get to that later.

Anyway, I don't do a lot of extracurricular activities or sports. I like to just sit at home, watch YouTube, eat and sleep. Lots of those three things. Sometimes I hang out with my friends, but we don't do much. They mostly talk about how they would like to get drunk and party, but I'm really not about that. I would die at a party. Not literally, and not in the good way either. I would just fall into a sadness puddle of fear and tears. I don't like even thinking about partying or doing drugs or alcohol. I'm not really sure why, but I just don't like it.

My friends are cool though, they aren't jerks or anything. In fact, they are losers, just like me. They just like thinking and imagining. Although, one of my friends, Mason, is kinda cool. He is, like, one of the only one of us that has actually done anything illegal. But he hasn't really done anything like that in a long time.

It's probably about time about time that I talk about my friends in detail right? Sure. Well, first there is Mason, the one I talked about before. He is short, with long curly black hair, and sixteen years old. He has brown eyes, about one or two shades darker than mine. He isn't very handsome either, but he has a girlfriend. I guess I'll talk about her too.

Her name is Carla, and she is pretty good looking. I don't mean to be rude or anything, but she is "blessed," shall we say. She has dull blonde hair and gray eyes. She is only about an inch taller than Mason. She is 15 years old. She is pretty cool, a little rude at some points, but overall she is cool.

Next I'll talk about, umm, let's go with Tony. Tony is one of the only people in my friend group that I kind of hate. Tony is, well, fat. Er, he isn't fat, he just isn't skinny shall we say. Wow, I am saying, "shall we say," a lot. I'll stop now. But I'm not against fat people, there isn't anything wrong with them, they are just people like you and me, I'm just trying to explain my friend. I probably shouldn't have said he is fat right after I said I kind of hate him huh. Oh well. The only reason I really don't like Tony is because he is bigoted. He looks about as American as one could get, but not Christian or even religious. Brown hair blue eyes and five feet ten inches, and is fifteen years old. He doesn't know how to check his privilege and he is super racist and sexist at some points. But he can be cool, just like anyone else.