A Battle With Hope (Newtmas)

Chapter 2

''Weird', the boy thought to himself. 'This isn't what I thought dying would feel like... not that I really gave it much thought... Shouldn't there be pain? Am I already past that stage?' The boy felt as though he was floating, floating around in a world of dark emptiness. Whatever it was, wherever he was, the boy would take it. Anything was better than that bloody maze. Something began to pierce the emptiness in the boy's mind, disrupting his own thoughts. It began as a whisper, but gradually became louder and louder in his mind until the boy could identify the noise.

'NEWT! NEWT! GET THE SHUCK UP YOU PIECE OF KLUNK'

And with that the boy's whole mind went black.

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The first thing he noticed was the pain. He began to panic, feeling his heart thud violently against his chest. What possibly could have gone wrong? He wasn't meant to be alive! He didn't want to be here. Speaking of here, where was he? The boy tried to open his eyes, but his lids felt heavy, making it too difficult. So he decided to focus on a different tactic, using his other senses. He focused on where his hands were, at his sides. He pressed his fingers down and felt something soft and smooth. It took him a moment to realise that it was a sheet or a blanket. So he was on a bed he guessed. He next took a deep breath in, and focused on what he could smell. The air smelled damp, and he could smell a fire burning somewhere, but it wasn't quite enough. He continued breathing deep, trying to find other smells. He could smell sweet grass, and something else that he couldn't quite identify. In the distance he realised he could hear chatter, occasional yelling and what even sounded like laughter. Suddenly it hit him like a ton of bricks. He was back in The Glade. 

'No!' he tried to scream, but no words came out of his dry, parched mouth.
'There's no way, I couldn't possibly be back here', he thought to himself.

He tried once again to open his eyes, using as much effort as he could muster. This time, he was able to peel back his heavy lids and take in his surroundings, which much to his dismay confirmed his suspicion. He was indeed back in The Glade, in the homestead to be specific, a tall, shabby structure that most of the boys sheltered during the night. In his chest, the boy felt a big ball of something beginning to spread, but wasn't quite able to identify just what it was. Disappointment? Hopelessness? Embarrassment? Shame? Or maybe it was just pain. He was beginning to feel less groggy, more alert and unfortunately more tuned in to the pain. His head was aching, his bones and joints sore, battered and bruised, but nothing compared to the pain in his leg.

After a few minutes, or what could have been hours he supposed, the boy finally felt as though perhaps he could sit up. After minutes of trying to push himself up, he was finally upright and able to get a proper look at his leg. While it was bandaged thoroughly, he could still see where the blood had been weeping through his dressing. 'Oh klunk', he thought to himself. 'I'm still here and now I have a bung leg. Brilliant. Just bloody brilliant'.

A few more minutes went by, the boy unsure what to do now. Just as he was beginning to think about calling out to see if any of the other Gladers were nearby, the heavy wooden door swung open and in rushed a dark-skinned, broad shouldered Glader all too familiar to the boy.
'NEWT! You're awake! You Slinthead! I've been waiting to get my hands on you. What the hell were you bloody thinking?!'

The boy, Newt, looked at his visitor, sighed and held up one hand before speaking.

'Alby. I don't want to hear it, okay?'.

Alby glared down at Newt, his face contorted with anger and a hint of pain detectable in his eyes. 'Well you better believe you're going to hear it you bloody shank. For a whole year we've been here. We're family. After everything we've built here, everything we've been through together and you go and throw it all away, almost get yourself killed?! Tell me it was an accident Newt. Tell me you were climbing the wall for a good reason and you fell!'
Alby then paused, taking a deep breath  and lowering his shaking voice.
'Tell me that you didn't try to kill yourself. Please Newt.', Alby's voice cracking as he spoke.

It was enough to shock Newt, glancing up at his friend's pained expression. In his year in the Glade, he'd only once witnessed Alby break down, and that was when the two of them first arrived, two of the first Gladers. Alby was the leader of the group, the one who kept the whole Glade running with his initiative and no-nonsense attitude. But here he was, by Newt's bedside, hands balled into fists, mouth drawn into a grim line, and on the verge of breaking down.

'Alby, look.' Newt pleaded. 'I'm going to be honest with you and only you. I'm no slinthead, so I'm not going to lie to you because you deserve the truth...' Newt paused, looking up at his friend, wiping the tears from his eyes, before continuing. 'It wasn't exactly an accident... I've been having a rough time' he paused again, holding up his hand, silencing Alby's protests. 'I know, I know every other damn shank in this Glade has too, but I just couldn't do it a minute longer.' He explained. 'I couldn't run around the maze another day, and come back with a grim smile on my face and tell the other boys that there was no luck today but hey! Maybe tomorrow! I couldn't go through another month, live another night listening to the latest boy sent up in the box. Listening to him crying into his pillow while he thought no one was listening. I'm just not strong enough to keep doing this every day!', and despite the pain radiating through his entire body, Newt took his head in his hands, grasping at his hair in frustration.

The anger in Alby's face softened as he looked at his fellow Glader. 'Newt', he said quietly, sitting beside his friend on the bed, ''I understand. You know I do, you know we're all going through this too and that's the thing. WE are going through this. WE are going to get through this. And even if YOU don't have hope we'll make it out of this piece of klunk, have hope that we're going to build a good community here and maybe even have a good life. Let the rest of us have our hope that one day we will have our freedom'. Alby looked into his friends eyes, hoping his words could get through to him.

Newt looked back up at his leader, carefully considering these words. Finally, with a curt nod, brushing away one last tear, he responded. 'Okay... I'm willing to give it another go. I'm not making any promises though!' he said quickly, 'And I won't go back out there. I am never going back out into that maze. Not looking for a way out. Not finding dead end after dead end, hoping I don't run into a griever. And you can't tell those other shanks the truth. I told you the truth, but that's only because it's what you're owed as our leader and as my best friend. Those other bloody nosy shuck-faces don't need to be knowing my business. They can't know I was weak. That I jumped from that wall on purpose. Please Alby, it's all I ask'.

Alby stood up, breaking away from Newt's fierce gaze and began to walk back and forth around the room, nodding his head. 'You have yourself a deal, shank. Don't you dare pull anything, okay? Because next time you might not survive and I need you here.' He stopped pacing, pausing in the middle of the room to face his friend. 'I need you to be my second in command. You have the strength to get things done around here and you've been here just as long as me. I'll assign you elsewhere in the Glade, I won't send you back out into the maze. Make sure you keep everyone on their toes. You're the glue that holds us all together man, we need you to stay alive.' And without so much as a fleeting look or a goodbye, Alby turned abruptly and left the room.

Hey all, hope you enjoyed the next chapter! Please feel free to leave a comment or some feedback, I'm more than happy to hear it! If you enjoyed it, please vote so I know I'm heading in the right direction!