The Beginning of Forever

Chapter 10

*Dan's point of view

I layed in bed staring at my ceiling think about the events of the last couple hours. Wow Phil is just wow. I never thought that I would ever be able to feel this way about anyone, ever since my ex. I thought I was in love and that she was the one.
FLASHBACK
"Haha come on Dan hurry up" yelled Summer laughing along the way. She ran back and pulled me up to the top of the hill. "Isn't this just beautiful?" I nodded taking a deep breath and letting the out doors swallow me. This is the first time I have been outside in over 6 months. I've been in the hospital for a month and then moved into a rehab facility for kids that self harmed and tried to commit suicide. I was one of the kids that were both. I got there because my mom walked in on me with the razor on my arm and the cuts dripping blood. I can still hear her scream even after 3 years. She took me straight to the emergency room and they took me in for observations, making her stay in the waiting room. They told her that I lost a lot of blood and that I was going to be ok but that they wanted to keep me for a while and then send me to a rehab facility until I get better. Summer never knew that I was there, she just thought that I was out of town and on vacation. She was like that sometimes. I mean she could be super sweet, and fun, and caring but when something doesn't go her way she will make it go her way or tell herself it's something else. We sat on top of the hill watching all the kids run around with there families in shorts and t-shirts, while I was over here in jeans and a long sleeve shirt. I didn't want anyone to see my scars. After an hour or so I started to get really hot and without any thought I rolled my sleeves up. We stayed like that when all the sudden Summer stood up and let go of my hand. "What is that?"
"What is what?"
"What the hell is that on your arm?" I looked down and realized they were all out. I rolled them down but it was to late and the damage was done. "You fucking cut?"
"I did, but i went to a rehab facility to get better. I'm all good now. I promise."
"Oh god how the hell did I ever love a fucking cutter. How did i not know? If you cut that much why didn't you just cut so fucking deep that you bled out. God you are a pathetic loser and I'm sorry I ever loved you. If any one saw me with you and your scars, god that would ruin my life." She turned and stormed down the hill not looking back. I sat there crying and eventually went home. I did something I told myself I would never do again and I cut and I cut and I cut. One after another deeper and deeper. I lost the one person that I thought was the one for me.
END FLASHBACK
I came back to reality and was shaking and crying gripping my arms. I need relief. That memory will haunt me forever and I could never get over it. What if it was the same with Phil? What if he left me? I can't live without him. I heard him move around in his room and knew he was waking up. I ran to the bathroom and grabbed my shaver, removing the razer blade and putting it to my arm. I cut once and instantly felt relief. I watched as the blood started to slowly fall down my arm. I cut again and again. I stopped and then remembered everything again and remembering when I promised myself I would never cut again. God I'm so pathetic I can't even keep a simple promise to my self. My breath hitched and I started crying harder and the tears fell heaver from my eyes. I cut again, but this time cutting to deep. I let out a small scream and then covered my mouth, hoping Phil didn't hear. I was wrong, he heard. I heard a light tapping on the door and then a small concerned voice "Dan? What happened?"
"No-oth-thing Phil." I couldn't stop the bleeding and I knew I was going to pass out soon from the amount of blood on the floor around me. "Dan? Dan let me in. Please" I tried to talk but nothing came out. Before I blacked out I heard the door being broke down and Phil screaming.