Amnesia

Bad Memories

Naoto was able to stabilize her breathing. She lies on the couch now, her head in Naoto's lap. He runs his fingers through her long black hair. Her eyes are closed and her cheeks are pink from the effort to breathe.

I know Naoto won't be going anywhere without her. He'll be at her side every second of the day, making sure she's okay. He was going on and on about the fact that he should've been there when it started. I can't help but to feel guilty of stealing him for a conversation in the backyard. Especially when we didn't tell anyone where we were going.

"For now on we need to tell each other where we're going," Anne announces. "I don't want anyone going anywhere when someone else doesn't know where. If something bad happened, no one would know where to even begin looking."

As she says that, I feel all eyes on me. That makes me feel so much better.

I shrink away from the group and slowly make it to the room I slept in. I try to ignore the pain, biting my lip and hoping that would decrease it. Of course it does nothing. I open the door and see Chris sitting on the floor, leaning against the bed. His head is low, his hair shadowing his eyes.

"How are you?" I ask, approaching him slowly.

He gives no answer. I didn't expect one. I limp over to the desk in the corner of the room and take out a pair of scissors that sit in a small metal container. I sit on the bed right above him, my legs dangling at his sides. He doesn't move, and I certainly don't make him. I just start snipping away at his long blonde hair.

I'm no expert at hair cutting, but I remember, actually remember, cutting my brothers hair when he was younger. Mom had usually done it, but after an accident at work she ended up with a broken hand and fingers. Dad wasn't home too much, busy with work. So I had to cut his hair. He liked what I did with it and ever since I just kept cutting his hair.

I finish up with Chris's hair and brush the fallen strands under the bed. No need to clean too much in here. Who knows how long we'll actually be here.

"Thank you," he says quietly. I nod and sit back behind him. I rub his back and shoulders, trying to loosen the knots. He winces when I push to hard and I have to continuously apologize.

"I was never good at giving a massage," I laugh to myself. He gives a short laugh and looks up at me. His eyes are red from crying. The sight almost hurts. I've never seen him so upset. At least not that I remember. I almost say that she's going to be okay but I remember that she's dead.

Chris lets out a long, heavy sigh. I expect him to say something but he doesn't. He just sits against the bed, picking at the blood that has stuck to the inside of his nails.

"Do you want anything?" I ask.

He shakes his head no. I stand up and start to walk out, but he grabs my ankle to stop me. I turn as he stands up. He grabs my hands tightly and looks me straight in the eye. "Promise me you'll never leave me. Promise me you will be as safe as you can. Don't give up on me. Ever. Stay with me."

Before I can reply he pulls me into a kiss. His lips are warm and inviting. I feel my heart beginning to race with joy and nervousness but excitement. I don't want to pull away. I don't want to leave him. But I know I can't promise him anything.

I pull away, the feeling of his warm lips lingering on mine. His cheeks are flushed, along with my own. He then breaks into a smile. "Say something."

I bite my lip, uncomfortable.

"What?" His smile quickly turns into a frown. "What is it?"

I think back to what Naoto said. "No matter what, we are not safe. I can't promise my safety. I can't guarantee anything."