Thoughts And Emotions

Chapter 1: Its A Beginning

In and out, sleepless nights and overwhelming mornings, I lay there. I wonder how it would feel to be out there like the rest. They are full of joy and cheer, and all I do is fear to be near them. I sometimes cry for unknown reasons and people laugh. Is it okay to cry? Is it okay be myself? Should I change? What do you want from me. Being neglected from society is like second nature to me. I never really was able to fit in. When I tried, people would shut me out, laughing hysterically at my social awkwardness. This isn't someone I chose to be, nor someone I want to continue being. I wasn't always this way. To be honest I don't remember the last time I smiled. All I remember was the day I met her. She was the one who did this. No, this is my own fault. Why did she leave. Was it my dorky glasses? Was it my unwelcoming smile? I really miss her. She meant a lot to me, and with out her . . . I'm nothing.

                              ^^^

I remember the times we shared under the cherry tree outside of school. Her smile alone could make me melt. Her dark blonde hair flowing in the wind, spreading her lavender-scented fragrance through the air was simply breath-taking. I remember staring deeply into her hazel-colored eyes. They matched the shades of yellow and orange of the changing leaves of autumn. She was the only one who noticed me. Who cared what I thought. She was the one. Her name was Delilah. Delilah Emerson.

                              ^^^

It was the 16th day of December, 3 years after the disappearance of Delilah. No one even talks about her anymore. It is like no one even notices she's gone. Anyone I ask just looks at me like I'm out of my mind. My mother always tells me that she will come back. I stopped believing that the day she told me she was leaving to New York for a week with her brother. Why would she leave me? Her family has no idea where she is or why she hasn't came back yet. Every day I look at my phone waiting for that "good morning loser" text she used to send me. Not a single message was sent since she has been gone. But for now, I must rest. Tommorow is a new beginning.