Make It Work (Harry Styles)

Chapter 19

"But behavior in the human being is sometimes a defense, a way of concealing motives and thoughts, as language can be a way of hiding your thoughts and preventing communication." - Abraham Maslow

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Jenna's POV
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"Jenna wake up! You've got to take another dose and then you can go back to sleep." I hear Joe bursting into Harry's dressing room and groan at his urgent demands. I sit up and take the bottle of water that was in his hand, as well as my two pills. I really hope I'm almost done taking these because every time I start to get some sleep I'm woken up with the need to pop pills. I'm becoming a druggie.

I smile at Joe as he checks my vitals. "Seems good to me. Go back to sleep." I try to follow orders and Joe turns off the light to the room. Now that I think about it, the light being off probably would've helped a looong time ago. I've just been burying my face into the couch.

As I lay there trying not to think too much I can faintly hear the beat of the drums and the blare of the speakers. They're singing Heart Attack, so it won't be long before we have to go back onto the bus. I just hope I don't get left here. I think I'd cry.

•••••

I'm woken up by the sensation of someone's arms around me. I breathe in and instantly know it's Harry, his musky cologne filling my senses. I look up at him and realize he's carrying me. "What are you doing?"

"Going to the bus. We're leaving."

"Put me down. I can walk."

"Not in those shorts. Nope. I'll carry you."

"What's wrong with my shorts?" I look down and realize he's completely wrapped me in his blanket.

"I love your shorts. But I feel like those shorts should be seen by no one but me." I searched his face for a bit of humor, but found none. As we approached the bus I convinced him to let me walk aboard on my own. He still followed closely behind of course.

Harry took a seat on my bunk, pulling me in between his legs. "Are you tired?" He asked.

I shook my head. "Not really."

"Well I'm exhausted. Cuddle?" I laugh at the hopeful look on his face, his eyebrows high.

"I'm always down to cuddle, babe." He laughed and pulled me into my bunk. Normally I would despise being cooped up in this small space, but this time it felt needed. Harry's been distant, and no matter what I tell him he doesn't seem to believe me. "How was the show?" I ask trying to break the silence.

"It was good. Loud as usual."

"Where are we again?" I ask completely lost. The last week has been a blur.

"Hershey."

"What's next?"

"Pittsburg." He was being short with me.

"I love you, Harry...."

"And I love you."

I couldn't talk anymore. Everything he said seemed to hurt me. I reached to set my alarm to take my pills in the night, and gradually grew sleepy. Harry's light snores rattled beneath me as I laid atop his chest. I tried my best to get rid of the blanket that separated us, without waking him up.

I know how creepy it sounds, but I love to watch him sleep. The way his breath falls out of his semi-parted lips. The light snores that hum in the back of his throat. The way his chest rises and falls in perfect harmony. The way his eyes move behind his eyelids as he dreams. It's beautiful. He's beautiful.

•••••

I wake up for the third time in only 10 hours, my alarm going off reminding me to take meds. Harry has slept each time that I've gotten up. I wish I was as heavy a sleeper as he is sometimes. We could be getting shot at, and I'm almost positive he'd sleep through it.

"Morning to you again, Ms. Wilson." The bus driver greets me.

"Hey, Jake."

"Getting up every 4 hours is kickin your ass huh?" His Irish accent always made me laugh.

"I'll say."

"I'm surprised that alarm hasn't woken anyone else."

"I was just thinking that. Harry could sleep through a tornado I swear." I joked.

"Jenna?" I turn to see Harry peaking from my bunk.

"Well good morning, beautiful." I say sauntering over. For the first time in what seems like ages, he smiles, a clear blush taking over his cheeks.

"Someone's in a chipper mood." He says pulling me in between his legs yet again.

"I'm just glad to see you smile." I say taking his neck into my hands. I go to pull him close to me but he looks away. I rest my forehead onto his. "What's wrong with you? I feel like I haven't kissed you in years." He turned to look at me, his eyes full of despair. "Please....kiss me."

He hesitates before his lips crash into mine. I was desperate. I pursed my lips more than ever, longing to feel Harry against me, but he was gentle. Our lips stayed closed and he barely put any effort. I released and pulled back, looking into his eyes. I couldn't explain how distraught he looked. He was looking right through me.

"Harry..." He shook his head and stood up, pushing past me. "Where are you going?"

"Inside the arena." I hadn't even realized that the bus stopped. I think I'm getting too used to being on this thing.

"What's up with him?" Niall peered out of his top bunk.

"I don't know..." I said. "But I'm sure as hell gonna find out.

•••••

As badly as I wanted to talk to Harry before the Pittsburg show, I didn't want to distract him. I hate when he doesn't give his all on stage. Could you imagine waiting forever to see your favorite celebrity, a person you cherish and have devoted your life to, and they looked completely lost on stage? I would be heart broken. I think the worst think would be not being able to help. Just watching the person you love with all of your heart be in pain and not be able to ask what's wrong. Not be able to comfort them. I'd be miserable.

"Jenna! Has anyone seen Jenna?!" I hear my name being called as I sit in Harry's dressing room.

"I'm in here!" I say running to the hallway. Paul hears my voice and looks back before turning down another hallway.

"Hurry! It's Harry!"