Meant to Be (Smosh/Ian Hecox Fanfiction)

Chapter 1: Breakdown

- 8 Years Later (Present)

~Addison's POV~

I lay curled up in a ball on the cold, hard, tile floor crying my eyes out. I've been here on the bathroom floor of my apartment for half an hour. How could I let this happen to me? How could I let a man into my life just for him to ruin it and take everything good out of it as well?

I finally gather up enough courage to look in the mirror. My makeup is all over my face. My big gray eyes are full of tears. My long blonde hair fell out of its bun and is now cascading down the sides of my face in messy matted curls. I pull down the neck of my shirt just enough to reveal the scars he gave me.

Images of me being thrown up against the wall and beat to the ground by the man. This man's name is Dylan. He's my ex boyfriend. Two weeks ago I did the bravest thing in my life. I packed my bags in the middle of the night and left leaving a single sticky note on the door reading "it's over". I got an apartment, changed my number, and got a job at a small coffee shop.

Dylan took away my dignity, my passion for music, and mostly, my best friend. My best friend was Ian Hecox. We have known each other since I was a freshman in high school. I'm 22 now, and he's 24. I love him like a brother. We used to do everything together until Dylan got jealous that I spent too much time with him. He hit me many times because of it. Eventually I couldn't take it any more. I had to lie and tell Ian I've been caught up in work. I haven't talked to him in months, but before that I used to sneak and call him every once in a while just to make sure he's ok. Dylan caught me calling him and threatened to hurt him. We haven't talked since. I want to see him really bad considering I haven't seen him in person for about 3 months. But I'm too afraid he will be mad at me. I used to be so happy. My mom passed away two months ago, and I haven't told Ian. I was too afraid he would make me see him, and I didn't want Dylan to hurt him. Ian didn't even know Dylan was abusing me. I try to push all these thoughts out of my head with little success.

Out of nowhere I just start to sing to myself in the mirror. I sing the first song Ian and I wrote together called "Shut Up and Smile." I sing it over and over again. I used to want to be singer. Ever since Dylan started abusing me, loosing my mom, and loosing touch with Ian I haven't really been in the mood to sing. I leave the bathroom and I crawl into bed and under the sheets. I sing myself to sleep.
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-The Next day-

I look at my watch. Then out the window of the coffee shop. I hate work. Only an hour until my shift is over and I can take a break for lunch. Work is slow. Not many people come in today. 30 minutes pass by, and I hear the familiar chime of the bell above the door signaling a person walking in. Before I turn around to greet whomever it is and welcome them to the shop I plaster a fake smile on my face. I spin around and my heart stops. A familiar pair of bright blue eyes stare into my gray ones. It's him. It's Ian.

"Addison...." I let him get out before I throw myself at him. I burst into tears as he holds me, my head under his resting on his chest. "Addi, it's ok I'm here. What's wrong?" He waits for me to answer but I don't. I just want to stand here in his arms forever, and him never let me go. He is probably so confused right now. He thinks my life is going great. Busy with work and life: the only excuse I gave him. "Addi, please tell me what's wrong. Addi, look at me please." I look up at his concerned face. "Why are you crying?" he asks softly as he runs his hand up and down my back.

"Nothing... I... I just missed you so much," I lie with tears still streaming down my face. There is so much I wish I could tell him, but I can't do it here.

"I missed you too," Ian says.

"Hold me," I whisper weakly.

"I am. I'm not going anywhere." He rocks me back and forth. It's then that I notice an elderly couple about three feet away watching us with sympathetic eyes. Then out of nowhere he scoops me up and carries me bridal style down a hallway that leads to the family bathroom handicapped people use. When we enter the bathroom he leans against the wall and then slides down to the floor with me still in his arms.

I'm bawling now, but I honestly don't care. Ian holds me and whispers comforting things in my ear. He kept trying to shush me and calm me down. I can tell he's scared but trying not to show it. He's afraid I will go into a panic attack. That's one of the things me and Anthony had in common. Anthony was another one of my best friends. He had panic attacks too, but not as often and severe as mine. Its been even longer that I haven't talked to him. We were a trio. Ian, Anthony, and I.

I can't believe I let that all slip away from me. My heart races as I think of all this. I begin panting and breathing heavily. Ian holds me tighter. Then I begin to ramble aimlessly not realizing what I was saying exactly. I had waited so long to pour out all my feelings, and he was the only person in the world I could do that with. "Ian, I let you leave me. Dylan let you leave me. He made you leave me. I wish he was more like you. No, I wish he was you. You would never hit me. Ever."

Then Ian says "WHAT! He WHAT?!?" I didn't stop talking when he said it though, I just kept on going. I couldn't stop myself now. All the words just spill out of my mouth. I kept them bottled up for too long.

"I'm so stupid. I loved him so much, but he didn't love me back. I thought I could change him and make him better again by being with him so he would quit drinking. I was so wrong, Ian. I'm such an idiot. Please come back to me. Ian, I never wanted to leave you. I love you." I stop quickly realizing what I had just said. 'I love you'. I knew he wouldn't think anything like a couple thing. He knew I meant like we were family.

"YOU SAID HE HIT YOU!?" He practically screams. My mind is racing, and I feel dizzy. I can't think straight. "Addison, what did he do to you..." he says softer now realizing he needs to stay strong and calm for my sake. Thoughts were continuing to fly through my mind. Mostly scary memories. I was still crying too.

I began to speak again. Only not answering his question. "Every time I would come home he could smell you on me. He knew we were just friends! He knew it! It's not fair! He beat me every time. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I lied to you about where the bruises came from. I didn't want you to confront him. He would hurt you. I didn't want you to get hurt." Without thinking I sit up right still on his lap and take off my shirt to show him where the scars were.

I catch him fight back tears. "Addison... I- I didn't-"

I butt in before he could finish "I can't run away from Dylan forever. What if... what if he finds me? What if he finds YOU?! He's going to hurt you. I can't loose you again." I ramble on working myself up. The more I say things out loud the more I become frightened. The whole time I'm talking Ian tells me to shush and calm down. I was scared out of mind. "He could kill you. He could kill you so quick. Even though most of the time when he threatened me with his hunting knife-"

"What do you mean most of the time!? And he's not going to kill me! Stop thinking like that!" Ian shouts at me. Hearing him yell makes me even more panicked. Is he mad at me? Am I going to loose him again? I didn't tell him all those things because I didn't want Dylan to hurt him. Thoughts run through my head. All of a sudden I feel a sharp pain in my chest. I breathe hard and rapidly hyperventilating. That's when I begin the panic attack. "Fuck! I'm sorry Addison! What have I done! Oh no! God, I'm dumb ass! I didn't mean to yell at you! Stay calm." Ian stutters out clearly freaking out as well. He slips my shirt back on over my head, then picks me up. He quickly carries me out of the bathroom and out the coffee shop. He races to his car with me still in his arms. He opens the door and slides me into the passenger seat. He gets in as well and then we speed away.