Meant to Be (Smosh/Ian Hecox Fanfiction)

Chapter 10: Flashback and Procrastanation

QUICK AN: Hey, there's a part in this chapter that has some violent stuff in it, and I don't want you to read it if it might make you uncomfortable or trigger you in any way. I'll tell you when it gets to that part though, and I'll tell you how far to skip over it if you wish not to read it. I'll kind of summarize it for you at the end of it so you won't miss anything. :)

Oh and one last thing: this takes place a few days after the drive-in.

Alright, I'll let you read the stupid chapter now. You've waited long enough.

~Addison's POV~

I step out of the shower, my mind finally feeling clear and at ease for the first time in the past few days. I dry off before putting on my white, fuzzy bathrobe wrapping myself up in its warmth. Then I take my brush and work through some of the tangles in my long, curly hair. I reach for a spare towel on the shelf and dry my hair with it. Oddly enough, I find myself smiling as I do these simple, tedious tasks that I do every morning now.

Out of the corner of my eye something catches my attention. It's the plain mirror above the sink. The steam that once clouded it a few minutes ago has now began to fade away, slowly revealing the reflection underneath it. Usually I avoid the mirror; sometimes I even try my hardest to hurry as fast as I can to get out of the tiny bathroom before the steam leaves the mirror allowing me to see myself in it. I'm far too ashamed and afraid to admit to myself that I look horrible. I don't want to be reminded of my appearance at all.

Curious, I reach forward and swipe my thumb across the glass leaving a clear streak where the fog used to be. It shows a tiny patch of my pale skin through the fog. I hesitate before proceeding to slide my whole hand across it revealing my entire face in the reflection. The person in the mirror stares back at me already checking my every flaw. This person points out the dark purple bags under my eyes, my ghostly pale skin, and my toothpick-neck.

I meet the person's deep grey eyes in the mirror for a moment. Then I slowly pull down the the collar of my bathrobe to expose the markings around my chest and neck. The images start flooding back the very second that I catch a glimpse of the scars. The images of horror. The images of what my nightmares are made of.

WARNING: This is the flashback where it gets kind of crazy and violent. Please don't read it if it'll trigger you in any way or make you uncomfortable. Skip ahead a few paragraphs to the bold if you don't want to read it!

A long blade slashes against the delicate skin on my bare chest before I jump back quick enough. I see the clouded green and yellow eyes of the man that I loved. Dylan swings the knife in front of him again buts fails to make contact with my skin this time. He throws it to the side in frustration as he backs me against the wall. He grabs my neck in both of his hands and digs his nails into my skin. Warm blood begins to ooze down my neck where his fingernails pierce my skin. I feel my bare back being slid up against the wall and my feet being lifted off the ground. I scratch and claw hopelessly at his hands hoping, praying for him to release me. I can already feel my lungs wheeze desperately fighting for breath. My legs kick in frantic, spastic motions. I feel my body shake in uncontrollable tremors like I'm having some sort of seizure against the wall. There's no doubt that I'm having a panic attack.

This is it. I think to myself. This is how I'm going to die. This intoxicated man is going to kill me and it's all my fault. I could've stopped him. I could have left him sooner. I could have spent more time with my mother before she passed. I could have told my friends that I loved them. I never got to make a career out of my music. I never got to get married and have children. I'm going to die at age 22 without living the rest of my life. And it's all my fault.