#1
A pirate walks in a bar with a steering wheel on his pants
The bartender says "why have you got a wheel on your dick?"
The pirate replies
"Arr, it drives me nuts"
#2
A boy about 12 years old with a flattened frog attached to a string behind him walks to a doorstep of an ill repute and knocks on the door.
The madam answers the door and asked what he wanted.
He said "I want to have sex with one of the women inside, I have the money and I'm not leaving until I get it"
The madam answers why not and told him to come in, once in she told him to pick anyone he wanted.
The boy asked" do any of them have diseases"
The madam said no
The boy says " i heard all the men talking about after having an STD with Amber THAT' S the girl I want."
Since the boy was so adamant and had the money to pay she told him to go first room on the right.
And so he went dragging the squashed frog across the floor, 10 minuets later he came back still dragging the squashed frog and payed the madam.
The madam asked
"Why pick the only one with a disease"
The boy replied
"Well if you really wanna know my parents are going out tonight at a restraunt, leaving me with a babysitter, and cause she wants to have sex with cute boys I'll have sex with her and so she gets the disease, and when my parents get home my dad will take the babysitter home, on the way he'll jump the babysitters bones and then he'll get the disease, then when my dad gets home he'll go upstairs and have sex with my mum so she'll get it, so then in the morning when my dad goes to work the milkman will come along and have a quicky with my mum and then he'll get the disease, and that sonofabitch had squashed my fucking frog."
#3
The teacher asks jimmy "why have you brung your cat into school today?"
Jimmy replied crying
"Because I heard my dad say I'm going to eat that pussy when I go to school"
