Pick The One... (COMPLETED)

Epilogue - Dear Rosie, Love...

Epilogue – Dear Rosie, Love…

Dear Rosie,

It’s hard for me to write this to you regarding what happened a year ago, but I’ll do it anyways. Also, I know you won’t read it because, let’s face it, you can’t, but I need to tell you everything that’s on my mind, and a letter is the best solution.

I can’t believe it. I still can’t believe it. One second, you were here, smiling, laughing, singing, teaching us how to live our lives at the fullest, and the next one, you’re gone. How can someone so full of life disappear so soon? I can’t blame you for what happened, it was definitely those paparazzi’s fault. But I blame myself for not being able to say goodbye. I didn’t even know you were gone until Zayn came and gave us the news. I was in shock, it was clearly the worst moment of my life, and I couldn’t process the newly information. It was like a part of me was missing, and there was no way it was coming back.

I didn’t want to believe it at first. I started shouting, running and accusing everyone of lying. I jumped in the car and drove to your place, ran up the stairs and knocked on your door. But there was no answer. Eventually, a security man came and told me that currently no one was living there and their stuff should’ve been moved soon. That was the first time I realized I was crying, and I kept on crying months after.

When I saw you, the last time, it was like heaven was giving me the chance to see an angel. So beautiful, so pure, like always. Dressed in white, with your beautiful hair braided, you looked like a princess. You have always been a princess, and unfortunately you had to leave like one.

But I wasn’t the only one feeling empty without you. All around the world, people started doing crazy things to show how much they missed you. Your fans organized a festival  where young artist would cover your songs and people would meet and share their favorite memory with you. I took part at its first edition and I got to laugh the whole day at the things we used to do together. But the happiness was soon replaced with sadness when it hit me that you weren’t with us anymore.

After you were completely gone, I fell into depression. I couldn’t speak, not to mention singing, I couldn’t eat or sleep, and I couldn’t do anything. We had to stop the recording and everything that was going on, and took a break for emotional recovering. All the boys were deeply affected by the event, but I was crashed. Him and I.

Eventually, someone suggested psychological support would be a good idea, especially group therapy, so we both started going to counseling sessions. Step by step, we got to accept the fact that you were dead and that was it. We also grew closer together as we understood what the other was going through. We learned to live again together.

God, I was so blind. I thought I was the one, but he was so in love with you. Every breath he was taking, it was for you; every decision he was making, it was with you in his mind. You belonged with him, and soon I was starting to feel guilty for even dreaming of something it was clearly his. I started to feel sorry for his loss.

I miss you like hell, and every time I close my eyes, I picture you next to me, just like it was supposed to be. Even though maybe you would’ve been happier with him, I still cross the line sometimes and imagine myself being with you. But just imagine…

I wish I could tell you more, but I feel like you already know my every single word. Please take care of your family, your friends and, most of all, your fans, and keep the memory of me somewhere in the back of your mind until the day we’ll meet again.

I love you,                                                                                         

 Harry      

I love you,

Niall