I Will Be Beautiful...For You (Manxman)

Chapter 4: Justify

"Keep going! You can't give up now! It's only been three months! You've made it this far, you need to stay on task! Just think about what you're doing this for! Who you're doing this for!" She yells.

I feel the tears roll down my cheeks. It hurts so much, but she's right. I can't give up. I continue to cry as I do as she tells me. It's helping. I've lost at least twenty pounds since she put me on that diet and started this workout. She does it along with me, so I'm not the only one suffering. Well, I sort of am the only one. She is so used to this, that she can feel the burn, but it doesn't bother her as much as it does me. Come on. I'm literally in tears right now! Can't I get a small break?

* * * * * *

"Good job, Reeve. You've been doing pretty good so far. Are you happy with yourself?"

I nod. "Let's just get me weighed so I can go to sleep," I say, feeling too warn out to do anything else.

She laughs. "You can't go to bed! It's barely noon! After you get weighed, I want you to go upstairs and finish that essay you were working on yesterday and also eat something. You barely ate your breakfast this morning."

I groan and nod. We go out to the weighing room and I step on the scale. 316.4. I sigh. I lost five pounds this week. Maybe this new workout is working better than the last one. This is going pretty well.

Abigail whistles beside me. I look up at her from the scale and she smiles. "Thirty more pounds and you get your cheat. Don't look so mad. Smile more. You look cute when you do."

I give her a small smile. "Thanks."

She gives me a pat on the back and her smile widens. "Go finish that essay and eat. You can nap afterwards, but I'm sending someone up to wake you up at 3. We're going for a hike today."

I nod and leave, making my way to the elevator. I pass Cedric, the secretary that I now know the name of, and he glares at me. I smile at him and say hello to him. To which, he gave me the finger. I have yet to figure out why he hates me so much.

When I get to my room, I immediately get back to work on my final essay for my last class. If I get a good grade on this, I'll pass and graduate. Hopefully. I have been working extra hard so maybe it'll all pay off in the end. I shouldn't be graduating for a while, but it would be great to do it early.

After I finish, I eat a turkey sandwich with a slice of tomato and lettuce on it. Abigail calls it organic. I call it disturbing. How can someone eat something that tastes so plain? I have to eat it so I might as well bare with it. I'll get in trouble if I don't.

My phone rings and I blindly answer it without looking at the caller ID. "Gansey speaking."
There is a small silence before the person speaks. "I haven't heard your voice in forever," he whispers.
I freeze just as I'm about to take another bite of my sandwich. I'm unable to speak.
"Ree, why have you been avoiding me? I'm sorry for snapping at you. I don't know what got into me. I-I've never used violence. I'm so sorry!" He's crying now. "Please forgive me, Ree! I'll never do it again! I swear! I-I don't understand why you won't talk to me!"
I continue to stay quiet. I don't know what to say to him. I thought I would when the time came, but I can't.
He sighs. "Uhm, well, I sent something to mom's house because she won't tell me where you are. I hope you get it and I really hope you can make it. I'll talk to you, uhh, later, I guess. I love you, Ree." With that, he hangs up.

* * * * * *

I avoid his gaze. From the corner of my eyes, I swear, I see him frowning at me. It doesn't matter. I've been in a horrible mood since a few months ago. Nothing could help it. Finding out the man I love, my best friend, is marrying the man who abuses him. I have been trying my best with this program. I'm almost at my final weight goal. I've been working on losing weight and gaining muscle at the same time. My muscles aren't as big as I wat them to be, but they'll have to do. I'm going to that wedding. I might not be able to talk him out of it, but I can sure as hell try to stop the abuse. Just a few more weeks. I'll be moving out of here soon too. The elevator is empty and quiet as it takes me to my floor. When I get back to my room, my phone rings from the kitchen and I check the caller ID before answering it. "This is Gansey."
"And this is your very close friend that hates when you answer with your last name."
I chuckle a little. "Sorry. Bad habit. What's up?"
"I'm moving, remember? Youre supposed to pick me up tonight. Ring any bells?"
I face palm so hard that I drop my phone. I quickly pick it back up and apologize. "I'm so sorry! I completely forgot!"
"We talked just last night!"
I let out an embarrassed chuckle. "I-I know."
He laughs. "It's cool! I'll call you when I get there, okay?"
"Yeah, okay. Sorry again. I'll see you later then."
* * * * * *
"So, "This is Gansey"?" He mocks.
We laugh and hug.
"You're way different from what I imagined," he tells me as we carry his things to my car.
I laugh. "Really? What had you imagined?"
"Well, where to begin!" We get in and head out after buckling up and starting the car. "Fat, pimples, greasy hair, short, glasses-"
"You're horrible! You're just explain me before I went into the program! You're such a jackass!"
"I'm a murderer! What do you expect?" He yells, quoting what I had assumed he might be if we met in person.
"I knew it! And I'm not short!" I yell, punching his arm.
Our laughter dies after a while.
"I hadn't expected you to look like you do either, you know," I say after a small silence.
He gasps, "No way! Tell me, what did I look like in your head? Was I a sexy prince on horseback? How about a bad boy dressed in all black ad leather with a motorcycle? Maybe you though I looked like a nerd as well!"
I shake my head. "I thought you were a lame jock who had no life except football and video games."
"Well, sorry for the disappo- Hey! That's exactly how I am!"
"Hmm. Then my guessing is better than yours."
"W-Well! Ugh! I don't know," he mumbles at the end.
The rest of the ride is just us messing with each other and making jokes. When we get back into town, I ask him where his new address is.
"Oh! I forgot to ask, but could I stay at your place tonight? Mine won't be ready until tomorrow afternoon. If its any trouble, just drop me off at the next Motel 6."
"Hold on. I'll have to ask first." I pull out my cellphone and call Abigail. I tell her the situation and that it will only be for tonight.
"Silly, you don't have to ask me if you wanna get laid! Just do it! Sneak him through the back though! Cedric doesn't like this kind of thing."
I mumble that it's not like that, but it would be nice. He's very attractive for someone who's always such a jackass. I shake my head to clear my thoughts and mumble a quick goodbye before hanging up on her. "You can stay at my place tonight."
He cheers and ruffles my hair. "Great! I don't have to waste money on a motel!"
When we get to the building, he only grabs one bag from the trunk and we head towards the residents entrance. To our luck, it's locked. "Crap. It's past 9, huh?" Cedric locks it after nine since that's our "curfew".
He checks his watch and nods. "Yup!"
I sigh. "Fine. We'll have to use the front entrance now. Come on." I lead him o the front entrance and we enter. Cedric gives me a small smile, but glares at Beau. Why is he smiling at me and only glaring at Beau? Beau notices that glare and sticks his tongue out at Cedric. He is so fucking childish.
I sen Beau to go wait for me by the elevators. I turn to Cedric with a slight frown. "I'm sorry. His apartment isn't ready and Abby already said that he could stay just for tonight. He's a friend of mine that is just moving to his state, so I want to help him out. Is that okay?" He seemed to relax, hearing my explanation as to why Beau is with me.
He waves me off. "Whatever. You're late by the way. Curfew is 9, dumbass."
I give him a big smile before going over to the elevators as the door opens and me and Beau step inside. Just before the doors close, Beau says with a small laugh, "Dude, he totally has a man crush on you."
I feel my face heat up in embarrassment. "N-No he doesn't!"
"Oh! So, you like him too? Go for it, dude. He wants your di-"
I stomp on his foot then apologize, but take it back because he's an idiot. "Don't be so stupid. He hates me and has ever since I stepped foot in this place."
"Yeah, yeah," he says dismissively. "You could've broken my toe, lard-ass!"
I laugh. If it weren't Beau that had called me that, I would've tried to kicked his ass.
* * * * * *
"Stay up here. When I get back, I'll take you o your apartment. Okay?"
"Sure, sure. I won't leave the building."
I turn to leave, but turn bck jut as fast. I smack him on the head. "I said not to leave this room!"
"Ow!" He rubs his head and looks at me with a smirk. "Fine, I won't leave the room. Maybe."
I just sigh and leave.
There is a few more weeks until the wedding. I have to do something.