And I'm crying and crying,
complaining since everything I do
is a fucking lie.
And I'm doing it all again,
and again, let's
just stop. But it won't work.
And I'm choking myself to death with
all this lost hope
and all this digusting behavoir.
And I'm acting,
all acting nice and in the end
I am just a coward who loves the idea of dying and killing.
But I'm too scared,
let's end all of this,
this weird feelings.
Take them,
I don't need them,
I don't want them.
Just let me die in this pain.
_______
And did you know how often I stood up again? How often I wondered why I'm that weak while everybody else still stands there? And all I can do is to watch while me beloved humans fall. And I can't do anything, can't even save myself.
