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he thinks that i'll go quietly

him: hey, princess

me: ....

him: did you get a dress yet?

me: a dress?

him: yeah, those things you put on to go to things like i don't know, dances.

me: don't be sarcastic, it doesn't suit you.

him: so have you?

me: nope.

him: it's in two weeks!

me: then can't i get it in two weeks?

him: no, no, no, no! girls have to prepare ahead of time for these things!

me: what do you know about girls?

him: enough. but you need a dress!

me: cooper, you don't know anything about girls, do you?

him: i could be gay for all you know.

me: true, very true.

him: now you shut up.

me: ...

him: woah, i sound like you! and you sound like me! this is a sign!

me: a sign for what?

him: a sign, that we're going to get you a dress tomorrow.

me: isn't it bad luck if the date sees the dress before the dance?

him: ha-ha, nice try. that's for weddings, doofus. we're going.

me: if it helps you sleep at night.

him: it does.

me: ...

him: i deserved that slap.

written on a small envelope

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