right as we were falling away.
him: nina.
me: cooper.
him: oh my god, nina. i'm so damn sorry - i didn't mean to do this to you.
me: ...
him: it's just, my family is so fucked up right now. and i hate talking about it but i need to open up to you and i don't know how and love you - i swear, i always will.
me: ...
him: and then there's school, and the fact that i want to escape away to college with you and just, just...
me: it's okay.
him: i know you won't forgive me that easily - wait, what?
me: it's okay.
him: no, it's not.
me: well... yeah. but i'm not mad at you.
him: why?
me: just sad, mostly. but i can't blame you.
him: ...
me: i know i'm not the most comforting person to be with.
him: what are you talking about?
me: and i love you, god dammit, i love you!
him: ...
me: i haven't been able to say it until now and i hate myself for that!
him: nina...
me: yeah?
him: i've been so distant when it comes to talking about myself. part of me wants to lie and say that i didn't want to come across as self-centered. but another part of me knows you deserve more.
me: ...
him: more than me.
me: i think we were both on the edge that day, honestly.
him: from now on - when i'm on my man period, slap me right in the face, okay?
me: you can count on that.
him: are we good?
me: ...
him: nina?
me: cooper, we're... we're more than good.
him: ...
me: we're inexhaustible.
him: eternal.
me: unconditional.
him: i'm glad we both did great on our SATs.
me: i love you.
him: can i kiss you?
me: you still have to ask?
him: unless you randomly decide to marry me.
front of the folder, heart doodles all around.
YOU ARE READING
little talks
Randomi needed to write down almost everything he had said, to reassure myself that he had been real, that we were something that lasted; at least for a little while. - nina [ © jude rigor two-thousand-&-thirteen ]
