lonely hour

ava

but i'll follow you.

i'm running through the darkness. no cars pass, and nothing illuminates the streets.

my breathing is erratic, struggling to keep up my pace. i'm late, and now trying to compensate for lost time. i've waited all day for this, i can't miss it.

and then i see him, far ahead. as i run towards him, getting closer, i start to see his motif. thump, step, thump, step, thump, step. if i knew his name, i'd call out for him, tell him to wait. but i don't, so i continue trying to catch up.

from behind, i notice him pause. his pattern falters, coming to a slow stop. he looks around, pulling up his sleeve to glance at his wrist. then, he turns around, facing me.

embarrassed by the sudden attention, and very out of breath, i quit running. he waits for me to come to his side, an amused smile resting on his lips. but he doesn't call me out for running to him like a maniac, and we carry on with our daily walk.

this time, i don't need to watch my feet to follow his footsteps. i fall into it casually, snuggling my hands in my coat.

we stay quiet for a while. i breathe in, letting my stress out when i exhale. the night brings out the best in me.

"what is that one?" he asks out of the blue, long finger pointed toward the sky. i take a moment to see where he's pointing, biting my lip.

"oh," i giggle, "that's the tail part of the serpens, officially called serpens cauda."

i watch him as he gazes up at the sky, as enticed as he is. his eyelashes brush his high cheekbones when he blinks, and the freckles dusted across his nose are barely noticable. he rakes a hand through his unruly hair. and i halfway expect it to come back inky, like the darkness of his hair could rub off.

"what's the story?" his warm breath shows up in the chilling air when he asks.

i bite my lip, recalling the myth, "well, the giant snake was-" but he interrupts before i can finish.

"no, what's your story?" he asks as we come up to the intersection. the third thump is cut short, and he rests against the lightpost. i lean against the lightpost also, my mind on overdrive. our arms touch.

the serpens winks at me when i look up for help.

"i don't really have one," i shrug, not liking the attention on me.

he chooses not to respond, pulling a cigarette from his pocket instead. it's followed by a light pink lighter, which shocks me. i laugh softly, not bothering to hold it back.

his eyes are on me while i laugh, and he lights the cigarette. this time i don't mind. forgetting the incident with my mom, i step closer. a small step. lana's words echo in my head. don't get too close, you'll get burned.

smoke curls through my hair, tickling my neck. it has a mind of its own.

an eyelash lands on his cheek when he blinks, unaware. impulse moves me. and suddenly i'm too close, standing on my tiptoes, finger brushing lightly across his smooth skin. his hot breath is on my lips, cigarette dangling from the corner of his ample mouth. i don't step away. the eyelash rests on my index finger, waiting to be blown away.

i look up, away from my finger, away from his mouth, and to his eyes. a universe stares back at me, planets reflected in his pupils. they speak to me, verbose, without saying a word.

"make a wish."

he exhales, letting the smoke dance out of his mouth. his eyes flutter close, he reaches for my waist. a large hand guides me to his body, joining my chest with his. the other grips my hand gently, bringing my finger to his lips. i wonder if he can feel my heart beat through my clothes.

there's a hesitation. my fingers go numb from the cold.

and then his breath fans across my hand, sending the eyelash to the wind.