Chapter 23

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  I fall asleep on Max, something similar about the way I lay on him.

  Even in my sleep I can feel him playing with my hair and running his finger across my forehead.

  But soon the slumber is so overwhelming, I feel like I am floating on a cloud.

  That is when it happens. Bit's and pieces of the games flying at me with extreme detail.

  I begin to panic in my sleep.

  I can smell  a mixture of smoke, blood and saltwater. I can feel the soft ash like a cushion under my feet. And I can feel my pulse rise as I look the dead girl in her eyes. Something about her is comforting, but not comforting enough to erase the feeling of horror from my brain. That is when they attack. Orange monkeys each as big as my torso, at first they look harmless but soon bare their sharp teeth and begin pouncing on us with immense strength. We fight. We? Yes. Max, I and Jonny. I shoot arrow after arrow, and when I think we are winning it hits me, claws digging into my flesh one by one. I scream as an orangutan bites my shoulder. But that is it. No other memories attack me.

  I wake up screaming.

  Max hugs me instantly.

  "What was it?" He says once I stop shaking.

  "The orangutans." I say calmly feeling my fingers over the scar on my shoulder.

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  Almost a year has passed since the night Max held me tight as I tried not to remember the vicious beings that killed an innocent child.

  Each day Max comes and tells me more about me, but still they only feel like stories.

  No matter how hard he kisses me or makes me say phrases. I still cannot remember.

  It drove mother insane again, and it sent my father into a deep depression. So now both of them are living above me in the mental section of the hospital.

  As for Dare, he spends his days with Max, reading books I the library or learning to use a bow and arrow properly.

  My doctors have given me a small amount of freedom, allowing me to rome through the secure and protected parts of thirteen as I please. And whenever I am reminded of the monkeys, they make me repeat a simple phrase I my head over and over.

  "Think happy thoughts."

  Often I try, but it doesn't work.

  Molly's mother visited once or twice, but once she began crying, I couldn't handle it. I was thrown into panic and couldn't control myself from almost strangling Ms. Snow. No one but Max, Dare and Haymitch have visited me since.

  Haymitch told me that Molly's parents broke up after the rebellion began because if it weren't for her father Molly would have never been placed in the games. And Max told me that her mother was actually for the rebellion.

  I often sit alone in my hospital room looking out the window. I forced my doctors to move me above ground, told them it helped me remember things, when really it just made things worse, but anything beat being cooped up under ground, month after month.

  The only place I ever escape to is the Army Training Room.

  "I thought you'd be here." Max's voice echoes through my ears, I shoot an arrow through a dummy and turn to look at him, wiping the tears from my eyes.

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