Reasons to Love Kuki Urie

Aftertaste

A/N: Sorry for not updating for a REALLY long time guys...  more explanation later. But for the meantime, I offer you this chapter. :)

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"I know there's nothing that I can do to make you stay, but one thing I know that would always remain and that's the aftertaste." -  Aftertaste, Ellie Goulding

He seemed lost. Going home after that honorable dinner with his superior, his mind seemed lost after that question. One that involved the M word.

His mind traveled from what seemed like his parent's to his very confusing relationship with you. Too much has happened inside a three- year time frame. Heck even a lot had happened this past six months. And his ever restless mind would either be busy with work, or grief... which ever came first for that matter.

His footsteps came to a halt, realizing he already reached his destination. It was'nt the Quinx Household, or the CCG. No, it was far more relaxing and less deppressing.

His clothed knuckle knocked against the door. To be opened after a few moments by a girl with a terrible bed hair, (reasonable for that time, it was in between a late night and an early morning).Her eyes squinted. Upon registering his face, she let him in.

It was restless nights like these when he'd need a presence to unwind him. And surely that drug would always be you.

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You bit your lip. Your palms shaking as they fidled against the coffee maker.

Him.

Everything about him and this fucking relationship. Was a mess. It made you feel like trash. And you hated yourself for it.

His words repeated in your head.

"You look for something I can never give you."

And that was true. You look for a fairytale and all he could give was a tragedy.

You wanted an intimate relationship with him. A loving relationship with commitment and affection with the L word you were so desperate to hear.

But nope.

You settled for what he can give.

A nightly sinful endeavor the two of you shared. That endeavor happened once, then again, and again, and again, and again until finally (or officially as you called it) a no-strings- attached, friends-with-benefits relationship.

You thought about how stupid and pointless it was at some point though. It hurt most of the time. Sleeping every night, bare, with the man you love. Then the pang of every morning waking up alone in the sheets hit you squarely on the chest.

You tried to confess your undying love to him for the second time around though. Saying that you would always wait for him. And that you understood every possibility that there was to come with his career. But that did'nt ended up well.

It ended it up with a lot of screaming and him leaving and a lot of crying on your part. Yet, it always ends the same, you'd always let him in again.

And you hate yourself for it.

Sighing, you head back to your living room. Placing the cup of coffee in front of him as he lazily lounged on the couch.

"So how's it been?" you grinned as you sat in front of him. Noticing the changes that took over him ever since your last session.

"Shit." he grumbled as he took a sip.

Well that's mutual. Everything is shit for the two of us, really. You thought.

Another awkward silence before he gestured for you to come with a slight nod.

And so it begins...

The moment you stood close, he attacked your lips. You almost forgot what they felt like against your own. But it's always the same, always rough, hurried and hungry.

You throw your head back as his lips began to take it's journey.

Until he stopped.

You had'nt noticed it before. But he did.

It was the tears. You've been crying. He retreated himself from you. Frowning upon your tearful form. You felt embarassed at the state you were in. You never knew how or when those salty drops of pain let loose but once they did, there was no stopping them.

"I'm sorry but... can we stop?" you asked, turning away from him.

"Okay. I'll come back another--"

"I quit, Urie" you softly said.

You were gonna slap yourself for acting so pathetic in front of him later.

"(y/n)..."

"It's just that... I'm tired, Urie. I know it's selfish of me to say this but... there's been a lot of painful baggage, really. And I know you told me this before... but it's just so.... so painful. I want you to look at me with love not lust." you whispered the last part.

He stared at you blankly. His usual stern-faced demeanor. But his eyes did widened in a fraction. Ah yes, you confessed to him once then it became twice and he did thought about it too. But what makes him wonder that somehow in someways, it did flatter him everytime you told him you loved him. But why does it feel weird with the way your telling him now?

Your tear stained face now contorted into a jaw clenched frown.

Clenched fists and a hard swallow. Then you relaxed.

"I'm sorry I must have sound over reactive to you." you frowned. And he felt a pang spreading over his chest.

"You can stay the night, if you want to. It's getting pretty late. You can use the other room. I'll just go get some blankets for you." you said slowly walking away from him.

But even before you took a step, you have already been pressed against his chest.

"Don't." he whispered.

"Don't leave me."

And again the tears. And sobs. And a full hearted lament coming from you.

He held you closer. Your shaking form engulfed by his warmth.

"I'll try." he finally said. Looking anywhere but your eyes as he did.

"What?"

Only to be answered by a gentle kiss. A kiss you so yearned for. It was'nt his usual now. But it was sweet.  It felt cliche. But you were too happy to think about other things at the moment.

"I said I'll try. Wait for me."

And finally, your smile. A smile he did'nt know he was waiting for. That smile of yours that he could'nt really tell if it was of sarcasm, mischief, or happiness but there was only one thing to describe it. Breathtaking.

"Yes. Yes of course. I'd love too."

The aftertaste was'nt always bitter afterall.
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A/N: I apologize for not updating for a very long time. Well, a shitload of things happened to me both last year and these past months. The writer's block, both personal and school schedule conflicts, the shitty wattpad app on my phone (-_-'), being unbelievably lazy and the surgery I just went through ( I underwent an open apendectomy??? Or so it is called. Basically my apendix was removed. So boys and girls, never work out after meals okay?) ... I know those should'nt be an excuse. So I am really, really, really, sorry. From the bottom of my heart I am sorry.

But I would still update every now and then because... who am I kidding I love writing.

But again sorry for being inactive.

And Thank you for reading. I love you!!!!!

-Nico-chan