Skinny Love { A Zalfie Fanfic }

Alfie

I kept looking over at Zoe and Jack. He had actually sat down beside her and they were talking. I repeat, they were talking. Lucy had even gotten up and left them alone. This then made more aware of the fact that I was sitting alone. 

I didn't care.

I looked back over at Zoe, she was smiling at Jack and he was smiling at her. What was happening, what were they talking about? Were they talking about me? I started to get a bit paranoid. I needed to calm down a bit. Why hadn't I told Zoe I fancied her earlier?

I just started to gaze into space, not really thinking about anything. Not really looking at anything. I didn't want to get myself all worked up about something that was probably just nothing. I just wanted to seperate myself from everything. 

I think I needed to go back to the hotel and chill. Filming was over and done with for today so it wasn't like anyone was going to stop me. I snapped out of my reverie and looked around the room. Jim and company were all over in the corner chatting. Zoe was with Jack, and I was alone. Nothing had changed. 

I was just about to stand up to leave when Zoe smiled at Jack and stood up, walking over to me. I smiled weakly at her, wondering why she was coming over to me. 

"Hey!" she said with a large grin, plopping down next to me. 

"Hi," I murmured quietly. I didn't really want to talk to her at the moment. All I really wanted was to be alone.

"Sooooo guess what," she drawled out. Then she started to giggle at herself. 

"What?" I asked unenthusiastically, I couldn't care less about what she was going to say. Which was odd, normally anything Zoe said to me would instantly cheer me up. Just goes to show how much I hated Jack.

"I'm going on a date with Jack!" she said cheerily, again looking at me the same way she had earlier in the hotel room. She looked expectant. As if she was awaiting a reaction for me. 

"That's great, just great," I spat out before standing up and walked down the hallway of the offices to the door. I swung it open and walked out into the cold, winter air. Things could not get any worse right now.

I could feel my eyes start to well with tears, no way that was happening. I held it in though, I was not going to cry over a girl. She was just a girl right?

But she wasn't, she was so much more than that. Zoe Elizabeth Sugg was my best friend. She was always there for me when I needed her. She supported me in everything I did. She loved me for who I was. I didn't have to change myself for her. She was my everything. 

And he just took her away from me. He had to come and wreck it all. I felt like Zoe and I had grown so much closer recently, I had almost told her my true feelings for her. But I knew now that I would never tell her. I had been friendzoned, why couldn't I accept it already?

__________

Darkness. 

I was alone in darkness.

The second I had gotten back to the hotel I had locked myself in my room. That I unfortunately shared with him. I had turned out all the lights and sat down on the bed. I just sat there, not doing much else. There wasn't anything else I wanted to do, or had the energy to do. 

I just thought. So many thoughts running through my head. What if I had told Zoe my true feelings earlier? Would I still be feeling like this now? And so many more things. Do any of my friends really care about me? 

Back at the offices, I had been sitting alone. No one had even come over to talk to me. Except for Zoe. Zoe had come to talk to me. 

I sat up abruptly. What had I done? I rushed over to the lights and flicked them on, grabbing my jacket and my phone. I had made a huge mistake. I texted Zoe quickly. 

A- 'Hey, where are you guys right now?'

Z- 'Costa on Oxford, are you okay?'

I didn't bother to respond, I was still in a hurry. I ran out of the hotel and hailed a cab, not even bothering to stop. I needed to see Zoe, tell her how much I liked her. If I didn't do it now, I never would. It didn't matter that she was going on a date with Jack, nothing mattered anymore. 

I payed the cab driver and got out looking around the street. There were so many people rushing to so many places. If I'd stopped to think about it, it would have made me realise really how incredible it all was, but I didn't stop to think. 

I opened the door to Costa, the tiny bell above me tinkling to signal my arrival. I looked around the warm and steamy coffee shop. There were couples scattered everywhere, a few familys sprinkled about and in the corner all of my friends. 

Yes, they were my friends whether I liked it or not. I walked over to them with a large, confident smile on my face. That was when I saw Jack holding Zoe's hand. I froze, this wasn't part of the plan. 

"Hey Alfie!" Marcus and Zoe chimed together, in time. 

I looked back down at Zoe's hand then up at everyone else. My confidence was shattered. I sat down anyway. 

"Hey mate," Jack said with a grin, winking at me. My temper started to rise I wanted to punch him so badly, but I held back. I was the new Alfie. The new Alfie who had come to terms with the fact that Zoe Sugg did not like me, no matter how much I wanted her to. 

"So how do you guys think filming went?" Jim asked, taking a sip from whatever drink he had in his hands. 

"I think it went perfect, if you ask me," Marcus said with a grin. He looked over at me with a quizzical look, as if he was wondering where I was and why I was gone. 

I mouthed 'I'll tell you later' to him and continued to listen to everyone's conversation, adding in whenever I could. My eyes kept drifting down to Zoe's hand though. I needed to drop it, I really did. 

__________

"Bye Zo!" I was going back to Brighton. The trip to London had been so many things. After I had switched my frame of mind to being chill Alfie, things had gone a bit better. No matter what, I still hated rooming with Jack but it was only for two days. I got over it. 

Zoe gave me a tight hug and I stayed right where I was, not moving. She didn't move either. Maybe I had been wrong about her feelings for Jack? Just then we were drawn out of our embrace by a quiet coughing in the corner. It was Jack. Zoe blushed and moved on hugging Marcus and Jim. 

"Bye everyone!" I said with a forced smile. I waved, trying to be as cheerful as I could before getting on the train. Zoe and Jack were a couple now, I just had to accept it. I had to remember that there was nothing between us. No spark no nothing. She was my everything, but I wasn't hers. 

xxx