"What are you doing?" I pulled my arm violently from his grip and faced him, anger visible in my face. He was shocked at my violent reaction and a frown of confusion crossed his face.
"What do you mean?" Maybe it just lasted for about five seconds, but I swear I saw a hurtful look in his eyes.
"Who do you think you are, pulling me away from my friend? After what you've done to me, you still have the guts to talk to me? And why is that?" I tried my best to sound irritated and I think I succeeded because he was now looking at me as if I was the most despicable person he has ever seen.
"Your friend? Sophie, for goodness sake, you just met him! He might be a rude guy or what, and I don't trust him." he said, his voice low, pain gripping in my heart like iron claws. Why? Why is he doing this to me?
I looked into his eyes and say the words I never imagine I can tell him.
"You know what? Compared to you, he's kind. He's good to me and he will never hurt me like what you did. You don't tell me what to do, because I don't care about you anymore." I'll regret what I'd said.
"You know that I regret what I have done to you. I do regret it I promise. You know me right?" The hope in his eyes is evident. You can do this Sophie, don't fall to those eyes.
"From the time that you lied and hurt me, I can say that I don't anymore." I tried to mark a poker face in front of him. I tried.
I walk away. Still processing the things I just said. Then I felt a hand grab my arm then spun me around. When I'm facing him, I was met by his lips onto mine. My stomach erupted butterflies. I never felt this way before but I know I'll long for it.
I feel my knees grew weak. I'm started to give in. Forgiveness is the thing I already give to him, he just don't know. But I'm not ready to have a connection with him.
Not now.
I broke the kiss and slap him. Although I like the kiss, it just made me remind that he used to kiss Chloe. That hurts me. Then I run away from him. He was left there holding to his red cheeks.
I'm not crying. I don't know what to feel. My feet brought me to a place were I always go here in school. Before I met Max, I used to go here. Even Max doesn't know this place. It's already abandoned so not much, make that much of them don't visit here. It's different from the last time I saw this. It used to be clean and everything's in place. Now, it was covered with dust and webs but everything is in place gives me a proof that still no one visits here.
My hair was pulled up with ponytail. Then I grab the broom and mop, ready to clean this little paradise of mine.
After half an hour, I finished cleaning the room. And look what I've found!
"My sketchpad." Caressing the scrapbook makes me want tear up. It's been long time since I put it on my palm. It's been a long time since I drew my fantasies that I want to happen in my life.
I slowly open the sketchpad. The first drawing is a girl lying on a field of colorful flowers. The smudge of color reminds me that my tears are shedding while drawing this.
The second one is a girl with a cover on her eyes and her lips are sewn. I know it's kinda creepy but hey, that's what I feel. This is the time where I realized that I sucked at speaking. I can't say what I really want but I guess drawinh helps me to announce it.
I continued to scan through the sketchpad. The feelings while drawing these things are coming back to me. They made me feel it was drawn yesterday or awhile ago. It feels so fresh that made me feel like it was written at the back of my mind.
As I about to skip to the next page, I glanced at my wrist watch.
"Sheez, I cut a class today and 10 minutes before my next subject." Standing up and grabbing my things as fast as I can. That sketch pad fell to the floor. It was opened to a page I can't remember doing it. I grab it and look closely to the paper.
You have a creative mind. You think deeply and those drawings have well deep meanings. Hope to talk to you in person. I know I don't have a right to write on here but I think its the only way to talk or get your attention. -admirer. Reads from the paper. I turn it to the next page.
I'm thinking If you're ignoring me or you haven't been here since the last. Please reply if you did read this. And please continue to draw, it inspires me a lot so... thanks for being an inspiration. -admirer
Next page.
It's been a month since I wrote here. I'm wishing that you already replied to my messages when I come back, but I guess you still haven't been here. What scares me most is that you're just ignoring this messeages of mine. I wish that wasn't the case. Did you already forgotten this place? Did you find something more interesting? Please reply. It really means to me if you did. I would be glad if you did. Looking forward to it... I hope. -admirer.
Next page.
Still hopi-
Next.
Can't wait to-
Next.
Please leave at lea-
Next.
Looking forw-
Until I got to the last page.
Its been half year now, still no reponse. I'm starting to get worried. What I will going to say next will make you think I'm a creep but don't, please. When you draw here, it only takes a week before you draw again. If you're reading this now, yes, I saw you're drawings from the start. I can say they I'm a fan of yours. Since the last drawing you did where a girl hugs a boy, there's a special with it. What makes it special from the others is the girl does have a smile on her face 'cause the girl from the other drawings is shedding tears. I'm thinking of that girl finally found the boy thay will make her happy. It makes me to start a theory that the girl is you and I think that you already found a boy that'll make you happy. And because of that, you already forgot to visting this place.
I'll keep visting in here and keep checking this again and again to see a response. Still looking forward to it though. Still does have a spark of hope that'll never burn out. -admirer.
Am I going to response to his or her response? What he or she said at the first letter's right, he or she don't have a right to wrote in here. But this person's looking forward to my response. Maybe it's alright to reply cause it seems that there's no harm done if I did.
I pulled out a pen from my bag then removed its cap. Then started to scribble things to the pad
Uhmm hi, this is the owner of the sketch pad your writing on. I really don't know what to say. Meeting with you is a thing that I'm not quiet sure about. I don't even know you. I'm not either sure if you're a boy or a girl. Maybe if you tell me about yourself, I can think of the meeting you thingy. By the way, thanks for appreciating my drawings. It really means a lot to me too although I don't allow anyone to see this but I guess I didn't hide it to a safer place. So I think that's all I can say from now. -owner.
Writing back to a person you didn't know makes me feel awkward. But who knows who's behind all the letters. Writing back to that person is the only thing to know what's behind it all.
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Thanks for ModernDay_Nerd for helping me to update.
