Hallway Kisses (Len x Kaito)

Parking Lot

The problem with this fanfic is that...I don't write fanfic anymore. My versions of Kaito and Len barely represent those of vocaloids, and are rather almost my own characters. I hope you can understand why I don't update. This fic has been fashioned to be almost "original", if you get me. Ps, this section is going to be pretty mature, sorry. -Starlightsmiles

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Journal Entry- July 2nd

I bought this journal thinking that I'd actually write in it. What a ghast, you know I'm not the committed type. I haven't seen Kaito in a month...month and a half? Dunno. Which brings me to the subject of this entry. Kaito and I are going to sneak out and go to a party. A real party. I sound stupid, getting excited like this. It's just a change for me. Less uptight, I guess.

-Len

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On a quiet, cricket filled July night, Kaito drove 3 hours to Len's house. After many wrong turns and dead ends, he made it. However, getting there wasn't the tricky part. Sneaking out was.

"Dammit, dammit!" Len cursed as he stubbed his toe on his bedpost. He quickly hushed himself. The constant reminder to be quiet blared in his head like a throbbing siren. Len slipped into the darkness of his staircase. He truly was a hot mess, and if his parents found out, he would be pulverized. Grounded. Kaito too. Every creak from the staircase just seemed a little too loud; every joint too achy. His stomach twisted and settled with guilt with every footstep.

He had made it into the living room with a slow dance of complexity. The moonlight streamed through the windows, casting on his pale skin. Len planned to escape through the downstairs door, not the living room's door (this was too obvious of a tactic). He ventured downstairs and then fumbled clumsily with the lock on the door. A few time-defying minutes later, he was free, and ran into the darkness of his backyard, then out to the street where Kaito waited. 

Len thrust himself into the car. His eyes softened at the kind look of Kaito, but the nerves in his throat made bile rise. "I'm so happy to see you." Len worded, going in for a kiss.

"Let's get out of here," Kaito smirked, "Save that stuff for later."

Len scoffed and crossed his arms. "I can't believe I'm doing this. I'm stupid, aren't I?"

Kaito held his breath, and then verbalized- "Well, people do crazy things for love, right?" Len looked over at him gently. His hair and eyes looked so artificial in the nighttime. The light in his iris almost looked like a star.

"Yeah, I guess," Len whispered quietly, and turned his head to look out the window.

Although Kaito had driven a long time, the party was local to Len's. He had done the research and planning, which had worked out perfectly. It was a decent house party on a main street downtown.

Kaito turned the radio on, and the two sat in silence while drum and bass blared. In that moment, Len felt so empty. Where was the lively conversation that he had imagined? The kindness he had expected from his boyfriend? In that moment, Len had a horrible realization that he might even be...over Kaito?

The months in which the two were separated did not hurt. For the first few days Len was bitter, but then he became occupied. Happy, whole. He thought of Kaito often, but not in a nostalgic way. They had talked over phone, through text and by email, but it all seemed so normal. Like it could go on forever. Life, without Kaito, would be perfectly mediocre. Maybe even fine.

Guilt seeped in through Len's veins. God, how could he be so blind? The truth, he decided, wouldn't slip tonight, but after the two were pulled apart by distance again.

"So how are things for you?" Len stuttered, his face flushing.

"Okay." Kaito sighed. "Without you, it's hard."

"Yeah," Len replied softly.

"I love you, Len." Kaito's words were soft, angelic, but Len could only feel fear and regret.

Len sat in silence. He didn't want to lie, but what were his choices? Ignore him, and leave the night behind and cry? There was no choice but to say it back. "I love you."

"Look Len, let's not do the whole party thing. Let's go somewhere else where we can be alone."

A shock was sent down Len's spine. To be alone with Kaito was the last thing he wanted tonight. He just wanted to go home and think things out. Just a breather, a few moments to understand what was going on.

"Kaito...I...," Len slowed down as he noticed Kaito pull into a parking lot. No no no, no...tonight was not the night. Kaito leaned into Len to kiss him on the lips and neck. Len stayed completely still in this process, feeling shame rush down to his feet and into his head.  He felt Kaito's hands everywhere, but did not think about it. Heat overcame his senses, and uncomfort blinded him. 

"Do you want to..." Kaito let implication attack his words.

"No." Len said weakly. He felt manipulated and tired. "Take me home, Kaito."

Kaito breathed heavily and pulled away from Len. 

The drive to the parking lot was a mere reflection of the trip back home.

"Bye, Kaito." Len left feeling cold. He went in through the back door and fell asleep on his bed. He didn't think or care.

Was this over?