I hate you Sangster/// Thomas Sangster Fanfic

Chapter 12

Katie, it's ok it's gonna be ok. I swear i won't let anything ever happen to you again.

Katie... KATIE...KATIE come on. Just look at me... look into my eyes. Everything is going to be ok.
i'm here now.

Katie's POV~

I could hear someone talking next to me but all i heard were faint mumbles.

By this point i stopped crying.
I wanted to...
but nothing was coming out.
My eyes had run dry.
There were no more tears to be shed.

So i just sat there in the arms of Thomas. Just staring out in front of me. I didn't want to talk, i didn't want to walk, i didn't want to do anything. I just wanted to
Stop.

Nothing more, Nothing less.

Thomas' POV~

She was crying for awhile so i just sat there with her. I knew i wouldn't be able to talk to her or do anything. It's not like i could sympathize with her.

There's nothing i could really say that would make this situation better.

I don't know if i was more worried for her when she was crying, or when she wasn't.

She's just staring. It's like she's frozen in time. Stuck in the past and not able to get on with the future.

I'm not really sure how she's going to get past this. She already has trust issues, now i'm not even sure she'll ever trust a guy ever again.

I don't want to tell the parents just yet though. I think she should be the one who tells them when she's ready, or if she even wants to. But if she wants me to do it i will. I will try to do everything i can to make this easy for her to get through. Even if that means being our old mean selves to each other. With a bit more fun though.

Even if that means having to let her go.

Katie's POV~

I don't know how long i've been sitting here but it feels like hours.

I feel like when i get up this will all become real. My reality with catch up with me.

I don't want that to happen, but i don't want to stay. Staying here is to painful.
I feel stuck. So i decided it was time to go.

Thomas arms were still wrapped around me. His head was about an inch from mine so i just whispered while still looking forward, "I want to go home."

Thomas jumped a little and got flustered but he got himself together and said "ok. What should i tell the parents."

"I don't know just make something up."

"Ok lets go. Take your time. Just get up slowly."

I slowly started to get up while Thomas helped me. He wrapped his one arm around me propping me up making sure i don't fall.

I was extremely unbalanced. I almost looked kinda drunk. I guess my body was in so much shock it shut down.

When we got to the car Thomas brought me to the passenger seat and had me sit down.

"I'm gonna go tell the parents we're leaving. I'll be right back." Thomas said hurrying back toward the building.

I don't even want to think about what would be happening if Thomas wasn't there for me. I just can't believe what just happened. I also don't think i've fully processed what's happened yet, and i don't want to. I just want to forget this whole thing happened.

I just... just.. i...... i...i....can't, no i think.. uh i think it's hitting me. No i can't have a panic attack. NO NO. Katie hold it together. Just want until you get home. You can cry in bed or in the shower. YES that it, in the shower. I can wash this pain away.

I was able to calm myself down enough to the point of staring again.

Thomas finally came back and started the car.

You could see he felt awkward and didn't know what do. But i didn't either.

I didn't want to talk about it though. It would be too much for me. I don't think i'm really ever gonna wanna talk about it.

We got back to the house in what felt like a minute. I was so out of it the whole car ride.

I practically fell out of the car trying to get out, but i didn't care. I couldn't hold back these tears for much longer.

Thomas tried to help me up but i slapped him. I didn't mean to. It was just... reflex.
I'm really tense and on edge right now.
I could see the hurt in Thomas' eyes but he just said it's alight, i understand. So i walked/ran to our house and pretty much flew into the shower.

I just kept scrubbing myself. I felt like i wasn't getting clean no matter how much i scrubbed. As the shower went on i would let out soft little sobs every once in a while because i didn't want Thomas to know i was crying.

I know it sounds weird but i just don't.
I don't like it when people know i'm sad or in pain. I put a wall up. I've always felt like it was my responsibility to make people happy or to keep the mood happy.

i took about a half hour shower but i still feel dirty. But i'm pretty sure this feelings gonna be there for awhile.

I came out of the bathroom in my pajamas to see Thomas sitting on the sofa eating eating pizza.

I don't know why, but it made me feel slightly better. I felt, safe.