Uneasy Hearts Weigh the Most {Niam}

Eleven-

Once the locker room had cleared out, Niall took his shower.

And normally, his showers were quick - all he did was wash his body and his hair, then he was out and doing other stuff. For whatever reason, it didn't work out that way now.

For the longest time he stood there, staring at the wall, not laying a finger on himself. His hands rest at his sides, dangling just below the scratches by his hips. Rushing water, put on the hottest setting, burned his skin, making it feel raw. His hair, dark brown when wet, flopped into his eyes and only allowed little slits of light. Water stung the scratches on his hips, made the bruises pulse underneath the pressure. His ivory skin has turned red.

He stared at the wall, rather intently, tracing the cracks on the tiles, as thoughts raced through his mind - too fast to properly grasp. The gist, however, was the wonder of who was angry with him. Mitch, surely, as his boyfriend didn't like to wait for him. His parents, maybe, for last night's ordeal. Liam, unlikely, for hanging out with Mitch instead of him - his cousin.

He sighed, reaching up to run a hand through his hair - stopping briefly to stare at the violent red mark in the bend of his elbow. He wondered if this was a one-time ordeal. He doubted it, however, considering this had been the second time. The first time hadn't been much, nothing that Niall couldn't handle, but it hadn't been Mitch and that's what made things hurt more than they should. He didn't know much about love, given that Mitch was his first, but he felt like things shouldn't work out the way that they were.

That thought still in the back of his mind, he turned off the shower and stepped out - grabbing at his towel and wrapping it around his waist - even if there was no one in sight, considering everyone had left, he still felt weird being stark naked in the middle of the locker room.

He got back to his locker, dropped the towel, and quickly changed into his regular clothes - a black and white sweater that covered the marks on his arms, a pair of jeans that were probably too long for his short legs, and a pair of sneakers that he didn't remember buying.

Niall began placing his equipment back in his bag - his uniform and such, as nothing else could really fit. He made a move to place his skate back in the bag, until he felt a sharp nick at his pointer finger, and he hissed sharply - dropping the skate and making it clatter to the ground, rather loudly, in the process.

In a flicker of movement, he grabbed at his sweater and used it to soak up the blood that was leaking out of the wound. He hadn't looked at it yet, for the mere sight of blood would surely send him under.

He used his fingers to apply pressure to the cut, biting his lower lip as he did so. It didn't hurt, not at all. It just made him feel cold, all over - like, all of a sudden, he was numb. And maybe he'd be lying if he said he preferred the pain over this. Maybe feeling nothing was better than being hurt. Maybe, maybe, maybe...

Niall shook his head to himself. That was no way to think.

He moved the fabric off of the mark. It had stopped bleeding, and was now just a bright red mark - easy to see that it was fresh, as it looked like it would bleed even though Niall knew it wouldn't. He looked down at his sweater, thanking his lucky stars when he saw no blood - just a mere wet spot on one of the black stripes, and that was easy enough to lie about. Even if he hadn't done this to himself, it was a bit idiotic to say that he accidently sliced his finger open on his ice skate.

He grabbed his skates, more carefully this time, and tossed them into his bag. He grabbed his hockey stick, painfully rose from his spot on the bench, and made his way out of the locker room.

~-~-~

Mitch was the first one to greet him - picking up the blonde in his strong arms and twirling him around, all the while managing to plant soft kisses to his hair here and there. Moments like these reminded Niall what love was, what it was supposed to feel like. They reminded him that he did love Mitch, he just didn't love some of his behavior.

"Oh, love, that was amazing!" Mitch cooed into his boyfriend's ear, setting him down afterwords. Niall gave him a light smile, still rather empty. His conversation with Adrian replayed in his mind, like a song stuck on repeat. His wary look didn't go unnoticed. "Hey, Ni...are you alright? You seem a bit off..."

"Hmm...?" Niall hummed, mostly to himself. Maybe he didn't want to lie. Maybe he didn't have a choice. "Yeah, yeah...just fine. Bit tired, is all."

"Oh? Not tired enough to go out to eat, I'd hope?"

Niall smiled softly, because that sounded nice. "That actually sounds great. Sure. Where did you have in mind?"

"Mmm," Mitch mumbled, wrapping his arms around the blonde's skinny waist. Niall tried not to flinch - he enjoyed his boyfriend's warm, soft touch, but he was unintentionally rubbing against his bruises. "Not sure, really. What are you hungry for, sweetheart?"

Niall rested his head against Mitch's chest, listening to his heart beating softly. "It doesn't really matter to me, honestly. Italian, maybe?"

"Sounds great," Mitch grinned, attaching their lips for a brief second. "Sure."

The two joined hands, walking out of the school together, and into the snow. It was falling hard, wind blowing snowflakes into their faces. Niall had forgotten his jacket in the locker room, but it didn't matter much to him at the moment - not which Mitch wrapped around him, loving him the way that he should.

"I really like you, Niall," Mitch muttered to him, as they walked towards his car. "I mean, like...I love you. You know that, right?"

What inspired these words to come out of his mouth, Niall wasn't sure. He was absolutely shocked - why would Mitch ask that? Of course Niall loved him. A lot. Maybe more than he should, knowing what Mitch was like, knowing what he was capable of.

"Yeah, baby, of course..." Niall spoke, teeth chattering all the while. "I love you, too. A lot. Ever since the first day we've met, I've had a bit of a thing for you. It's a bit more than that, now, as you may imagine. I just...I love you."

Mitch leaned in and kissed him tenderly.

((I'm almost afraid to ask...what do you guys think of Mitch?))