The Yoman Empress kept on following Steve everywhere he went.
"Hey Steve what's that?" asked the empress pointing at the Humvee.
"It's this thing that lets us get from point A to point B a lot more faster." said Steve feeling annoyed.
"What's that on your chest?" asked the Empress pointing at Steve's ballistic vest.
"It's something that protects me from being stabbed by you or shot and as a result be killed or wounded," said Steve feeling even more annoyed.
"Hey Steve what's that?" asked the empress pointing at his rifle.
"It's an M4 assault rifle which I use to kill nnoying people who follow me around asking retarded questions for 10 hours!" yelled Steve angrily.
The empress, feeling awfully disgusted by Steve's insolence got really angry.
"Well I won't stop so you can shoot me if you want and I will haunt you for the rest of your worthless life! You peasant!!" yelled the Empress.
Steve, surprised that his super awesome vocabulary is starting to rub off on everyone, came up with an idea that will finally make the peasant shut up once and for all.
"Alright... your highness... here's the deal, I challenge you to a duel with plastic knives from the kitchen, if you win then you can annoy me all you want. And if I win you have to shut up and do as I say. Got it?" said Steve.
"Hmmm....Deal, but I get to use my wooden gladius and shield," said the empress.
They walked about 20 yards away from each other. The whole camp gathered to see what was happening. Victoriqua served as the announcer.
"Ready... Set.... Fight!"
"Fight! Fight! Fight!" chanted the crowd.
The empress started to charge at Steve. Steve took out a handful of plastic knives and started chucking them at her, but she deflected them with her shield. The empress got to Steve and tried to ram into him. However Steve dodged her and then turned around and kick her in the knee. The empress fell and started holding her knee. Steve walked up to her and looked down holding his last plastic knife in his hand pointing it up in the air.
"In a man-to-ma fight the winner is he, who has more throwing knives..." said Steve and threw the knife at her face.
"I win," he said slowly walking away.
About 100 yards away, Konrad was observing everything that just happened with Chester on top of the roof of his hut, his hamster. Konrad was using his binoculars to observe and Chester and had mini binoculars. Slowly Konrad put down his Binoculars and started slow clapping.
"Young Savage," said Konrad.
He pulled out a cheese stick from his pocket breaking it in half, and handed one to Chester. Both of them simultaneously started eating their cheese sticks savoring the taste of each bite.
Everyone stared at the empress and then at Steve. The empress stared at everyone and then at Steve. From that moment the empress learned to fully respect Steve who just wrecked one of Yome's greatest warriors with a bunch of plastic."
For the next couple of days everyone went on with their lives trying to figure out how to defeat Raton and the Ratonicans. Suddenly, they heard a stampede of hooves. And as usual Konrad ran to Steve screaming with his squeaker voice.
"Big guys on horses are heading this way they are almost here. I saw them 200 yards away from my hut and ran here to tell you!" anxiously yelled Konrad. "I tried to alert you with my duck whistle but you weren't responding"
YOU ARE READING
Lieutenant Morrison and the World of Randomness
Adventure1st Lieutenant Morrison was respected by practically everyone nationwide. Not only was he incredibly bright but also brave; in fact he's received the medal of honor. Everything changes when he finds a magical portal while deployed in Korea. A story...
