Under the stars||Wolfstar||

1.6|| The owl tower (Remus P.O.V)

If there had been one thing that he didn't want, it was the whole school knowing about him and Sirius. There were just certain things in life you needed to keep a secret, things that nobody needed to know. His relationship with Sirius had been one of them. Had been, because the whole Slytherin house knew about it now. And if they knew, others would know soon. That would mean that the whole school would know and Remus wasn't ready for that. He wasn't even sure he would ever be ready for that. Not that it was up to him, now that somebody else had already revealed it. Remus knew that James had just wanted to stick up for them and it had been nice, but Remus rather had they James would have just let it go, like Lily had said. It was too late now. Their relationship was confirmed, even though he hadn't said a thing.

'Remus, wait!' he head behind him, but Remus didn't bother to stop for Sirius. He just wanted to be alone. Or away from any other person. He didn't know if he really wanted to be alone. He just was sure that he didn't want to see anybody right now, not even Sirius.

Now that their secret was out, people would start to look at them different. Maybe they would tease them, call them names. Remus knew he had to be above that. That he needed to act like it wouldn't bother him in a million years, but he knew that it would. It would hurt, because there was nothing that he could do about his feelings. He just felt this way. He was in love with Sirius and even if he could change it, he wouldn't. It was a part of him and it made him who he was. He just didn't like that something that made him who he was supposed to be, was being seen like a bad thing. Not that it would be the first "bad" thing about him.

He remembered the day that he told his friends about his other secret. The one that he would never tell to anyone else. He had been so nervous that day. He had thought that his friends would hate him, would dump him when they would find out that he was dangerous and out of control. However, they had never left him. They probably never would. Remus liked to think it was the same now, since James had tried to stick up for him and Sirius, but there were other people to worry about. He hadn't even told his parents yet. His parents had no idea what was going on, but the whole school knew.

'Hey! Remus!' Sirius finally had caught up on him and now stood in front of Remus.

'Sirius, I really want to be alone right now,' Remus murmured and he looked away.

'Let's be alone together then. I get that you're upset, I really do. James was just trying to help and I know that you know that, but please. I don't want you walking around alone,' Sirius said and he grabbed Remus' hand, but Remus immediately pulled his away. It wasn't that he was mad at Sirius. He just wanted to be alone, like he had already said.

'I really want to be alone,' he said again. 'I'm sorry. Just go to class. I'll be there in a few minutes.'

'But Remus, come on,' Sirius whined. Remus sighed and walked around Sirius. After that, he made his way to the owl tower. It was probably already freezing up there, but it would be nice and quiet and that was exactly what he needed right now.

He ignored a few Hufflepuffs practicing their spells while he walked up there. When he finally arrived at the tower, he walked over to the barricades. He carefully sat down, so that he wouldn't fall down. He signed and let his head rest against the cold stone of the castle.

He knew that going back meant that he would have to accept all the stared. That he had to put up with all the mean comments they would make. He wasn't sure that he could. He knew that Sirius would talk back. He always talked back. He would always have something to say, even if nobody would listen. That was just how Sirius was. Remus, however, was the more quiet type and he wasn't sure how he would handle all the things that would happen if he would go to his Defense against the dark arts class.

'Sirius, I wanted to be alone,' Remus sighed when he heard someone walking up to him.

'Not Sirius,' a girly voice replied. Remus turned around and saw Lily, and he was surprised. He liked the girl and they had talked a few times, but it wasn't that they were actually friends.

'I get it if you want to be alone. Sirius just really wanted to know if you were okay and since he knew that you wouldn't want to see him, he send me up,' she explained. She walked over to Remus and gently grabbed his hand. 'Are you okay, Remus?'

'Why would I be okay?' Remus sighed. 'But don't bother staying up here. You can go back to James if you want to.'

Lily just shook her head and he felt her fingers in his. 'Nobody should ever be alone when they feel bad.'

Remus smiled a little. He could see what James saw in this girl. She was really sweet, beautiful to say at least. Remus knew she was smart, because she always got high grades for her tests. And now, she had come up all the way here, just to comfort a guy she didn't even know that well. Sirius might have send her up, but she probably hadn't done it if she hadn't want to do it. But she had done it. She was here and even though she was just holding his hand, it was nice having her here.

'Do you want to talk about it?' Lily asked.

'There is not much to talk about?' Remus sighed and he shrugged his shoulders. 'You saw what happened over there. The whole school knows about us now.'

'Would that be a bad thing?' Lily asked him.

'Of course! Now that they know... Everything will be different. They probably will start calling us names, maybe even bully us. I know that Sirius can handle all of that and maybe I should be able to do the same, but I know I can't do that,' he confessed to Lily. He only had two secrets and now, one of them was out. The other one would be worse, but still. This wasn't exactly nice either.

'Remus, you're home here. You know that, right? Every single one of us, or a big part of us, has to keep this a secret. We have to keep a whole world to ourselves. I'm not saying that it's the same, but I do think that there are more people here who would perfectly understand the situation you're in. Of course, there will always be people that won't agree with it. But those people are also here when you would have had a relationship with a girl? James and I get tons of words thrown at us, just because we're together.' Lily looked at Remus and she smiled a little. 'Bullies are always going to be there Remus, in every single situation you can think of. You just have to deal with them in your own way.'

Lily had given him quite a peptalk and it actually made him feel a little better, but it wasn't like he would just get up and go to his class. 'It's not just that, you know. It was a secret, my secret. I wasn't ready to share that with everyone. Hell, my own parents don't even know about it yet.'

'Do you want to tell them?' Lily asked.

Remus nodded. 'Yeah, I guess. Maybe. I just don't know how.'

Lily nodded. 'Do you want to stay up here, or go back to class? I think it's already started.'

'You can go back. I'll stay up here for a few more minutes.' Remus smiled and got off the barricade. After that, he pulled Lily into a hug. 'Thank you, Lily.'

He felt Lily's arms around him. 'Any time, Remus. Any time.'

After that, Lily went back to class. Remus sat down again and he looked through his bag for a piece of parchment, some ink and a quill. He wanted to tell his parents, but this wasn't news he could tell them in a letter. However, he could make sure that he would be able to see them in person, maybe with Sirius. Remus thought for a few seconds and started writing:

Dear mom and dad,

How are you? I'm fine. Everything is going well in my classes and I'm happy to be here. I just have one question. Would you be okay with me bringing Sirius to our Christmas dinner? It has been a long time since you have seen any of my friends and Sirius doesn't really have plans for our vacation, so I thought it would be fun to take him with me, if that's okay with you. Please let me know soon.

Love,

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HIIIIIII. I AM SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING FOR A WHOLE WEEK, BUT I JUST HAD A REALLY BUSY WEEK LAST WEEK. I HAD A REALLY IMPORTANT TEST ON TUESDAY AND AFTER THAT, I WAS JUST SO TIRED AND... well, maybe I should stop talking in caps. Everything is fine now, I passed my test and a new chapter is up! Please let me know what you think and thank you for being so patient with me!♥