thunder [h.s]

ch. 4

[sage's pov]

Heading back to the dorms in a rush, I realized Ivy wasn't even back yet. I thought, oh well. I guess I can just mourn in peace. I'm being ridiculous. Not only am I having a conversation in my head, but I also shouldn't beat myself up about what just happened.

I took another look at the original picture of what used to be my favorite. I thought it was so beautiful. Until I found out I didn't photograph a meaningful, beautiful person who put the background in perspective. I photographed a jerk. A jerk who shouted at me for taking a picture of him, and putting it in a class presentation...

If I'm being honest with myself, I thought if I could figure out who the person was, I thought I could be friends with them. I guess that won't be happening.

Sitting in my bed with the lights shut off, I decided to roll over and take a nap. I would go back to finish my classes, but I don't want any chances of running into that boy again.

Since when did I let people who are assholes like him ruin my day? I've really let my guard down, and it's not even goddamn noon.

Feeling foolish, I decided to get up and go to my next class. If I took my bike I could make it just in time for forensics.

Cursing at myself for even wanting to take that class, I walked to it anyways.

I don't know why I am taking it, I took it in high school. At the time I signed up for it, it interested me. Now that I've realized I want to get in the photography world, forensics won't have really any benefit for me.

I'm only a sophomore in the Art Institute, but I still feel  a bit behind for not deciding where to direct my life as a freshman.

My list of jobs I considered when I was young in order:

1. Baker
2. Therapist
3. Artist
4. Lawyer
5. Musician
6. Police officer
7. Teacher
8. Vet
9. Actress
10. A photographer

Isn't if funny the last thing I wanted to do is now my dream career?

I didn't really know I was into photography until I was fourteen. I've never paid attention to cameras of any sort, until someone placed one in my hand, and I couldn't stop taking pictures.

The very first photo I took was of my mom.

___

The day was almost over, and I made it to through my entire schedule without running into blue sweater boy.

I was relieved when I noticed he wasn't in any of my classes. I've never dreaded my photography class so much. (The thought of seeing him again made me feel uneasy.) Angry at myself for thinking about him all day, letting him get in the way of my thoughts, I told myself to let it go and he's just like the other assholes that I don't need to pay attention to or overthink about.

Instead of going back to my room, I decided to just go out alone. I felt slightly guilty for not telling Ivy about my plans, but I really didn't want to talk to anyone, to be honest.

I drove off campus and walked through my favorite section of Portland. The city. It was getting to be dark, but it just made it even prettier. All I saw was the lights as I walked on bridges, breathing in the fresh air.

No one really knew about the place I'm walking on, even though it would seem like a common area to chill. The thing is, you had to take a mildly secret path to get there. You couldn't just get on it.

I went through the trees that left the skinny path for me to walk on to enjoy the beauty of the city.

When someone says "city" the first thing you might think of is New York, or Los Angeles. When I hear that word, all I can think of is the place my mother showed me. When she was taking me here, I thought it was enchanted, magical even. I thought no one knew about it. I didn't even remember how I got into this place the first time. I remember just appearing out of nowhere. As if she used a magic spell to cast us in this specific area. As if she just copied and pasted our bodies from the open area of grass, to this secretive area of lights and bridges. I was absolutely in love with the beauty.

That's another thing, when someone says the word "beauty" you might think of flowers, paintings, or places. Those are all very beautiful things. Yes, everyone has their own definition of beauty. My definition of beauty happened to start with Mom.

I plugged in my ear buds wanting to escape the sounds of the city and just listen to my own things as I walked in it.

When I was little I thought you were supposed to look outside, look at the way the sky was, before you started playing a song. I thought that however it looked was a reflection on to how your mood towards the song was going to be.

Tonight's sky happened to look very dark, but with shining stars. I wondered what that meant as "Saturn" started playing by Sleeping At Last.

Oh, how rare and beautiful it really is to exist.

____

I went back to the dorms. I didn't even get to fully walk through the door completely before I was being yelled at by a frantic Ivy. I knew I might have worried her, but not this much.

"Why didn't you tell me where you were!!"

"I'm sorry, I wanted to be alone."

Ivy looked like she was trying to calm herself, and I was really glad she did.

"That's fine, but just maybe tell me next time?"

"Yeah, sorry."

This is a problem we have. We don't always tell each other everything. Maybe she and I should work on that. We never know if something bad will happen.

"Mind telling me why you didn't want to be bothered?"

"Oh, it's nothing."

"Let's get to photography class, I guess. I want to see if anyone else has to present. You wouldn't know of course, because you left too early to see."

"I'm sorry, okay! That asshole in the picture I took decided he wasn't as photogenic as he seemed.."

"Oh, so that's what this is about, hm? What happened?"

"Nothing. Just a lot of shouting and blah blah this. Blah blah that. I don't like getting my picture taken blah blah."

"Add another blah in that to make it complete."

"Oh, shut up. Let's get to class..."

I took my usual seat, front row next to Ivy. I decided to ignore that man if he even did much as to look at me. I will not put up with anything today.